NEED ADVICE! GIVE ME YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

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helloIamRuthie

Guest
#1
#1
Ok, so i have been friends with this guy at work for a year and a half now, during my darkest times (before i was saved) he remained a good friend and mentor, he is a man of god and a good christian. but i never thought of him more than a friend. i always thanked him for taking the time to talk to a sinner such as myself and listening to the horrible things that i was doing too (not judging me). He is the one who introduced me to the church i attend today. i attended once and didn't go back for another two months because at the time i was not a christian and was interested in more worldly things than my own faith. every week on Sunday he would text me saying "missed you at church" i would always think to myself it is nice to have a friend that cares that much to text me even knowing i am heading down the wrong path. anyways i ended up distancing myself from him because i was ashamed of the way my life was heading and didn't want him to know that i was still drinking, doing drugs and having sex. two months went by and i finally gave up my lifestyle for god. to live through the lord and i got saved on Dec 28th. he was the first person i told and i went to church that Sunday after church he invited me to lunch and i told him everything. and i mean everything. he teared up at my testimony and i cried with tears of joy because i finally felt at peace. i had the holy spirit in me. :) over a month has gone by since that sunday and i can't explain it but every time i see him now i feel butterflies, my heart beats really fast and i get super shy, he suddenly went from someone i was not attracted to, to one of the most beautiful men i have ever known. i have not told him anything because i feel god has a plan for me but i am not sure of what? i promised god i would not seek. so i keep my feelings inside of me and i am patient. every sunday he has asked me to lunch and we have shared stories,laughed and cried. every sunday he waits for me to get out of sunday school and join him for our 10:30 service. but my problem here is, does he like me? or is he just being a good friend? after church he takes the time to introduce me to all his friends before we head to lunch. i just don't understand what i am feeling or why i started feeling like this after i was saved? i can't help but to wonder if god has a plan or if he is just testing me. i have been patient and will remain patient for as long as god needs me to be. even if my friend (Matt) never asks me out. i will remain a faithful friend to him and a servant to god. i needed to share this with someone because my feelings are that strong. when he is away i find myself missing him. all i want to know from you guys is WHAT COULD I BE FEELING? DO YOU THINK MAYBE HE FEELS THE SAME AND IS BEING PATIENT AS WELL? HAVE YOU GUYS EVER HAD THIS HAPPEN TO YOU TOO?
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#2
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#2
First of all, welcome to the family! I'm delighted to have a new sister in Christ. :D

Hmm... I'm not sure you need to define the feelings, do you? I can understand wanting to know what you're feeling. But Matt could be one of the thing that God placed in your life to help lead you to Christ, and God could be using him now to help you along while you're young in the faith and have a lot of questions.

I do recommend talking to God about it, and asking Him to guard your heart and be the focus of your life... now, and always. In Jesus' name, I'm asking Him to do that for you right now. :) And there's one bible passage I wanted to share:

"The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
 
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helloIamRuthie

Guest
#3
#3
HEY THANK YOU, yes i know god comes first. i have asked him about these feelings and all i hear is be patient so that is what i have been doing. i will be gone for all of the summer on a mission trip and i have to get back in school too. maybe he wants me achieve these things first. i guess i am just the type of person that loves to find answers to everything (lacking patience) maybe he is testing my patience. i won't fail him though. i promised god that i will wait.
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#4
#4
First of all I think you're doing incredible considering what you've been through and the fact that you've only been a christian for a month. Amazing.

I'm not going to say much different than PopClick though. The key to just about everything is prayer. Having patience, and being required to use it definitely sucks. I don't think there is any question God put this man in your life for a reason, seems like he was being a good ministry for you even before you were a Christian. If his feelings were the same as yours you can bet God is speaking with him about it.

Use patience and eventually time will tell, and things will play out naturally and you'll know what to do.
 
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Hungry

Banned
#5
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#5
As a guy I can say not only is he acting like he's interested but I'd wager he might even be in love. You'd be able to judge the chemistry but I think he hasn't made a move because he really likes you and would rather not make things uncomfortable if he was rejected. Good luck. Welcome to the light. Side note: I married the woman who took a chance on me and introduced me to the Gospel.
 
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kenisyes

Guest
#6
#6
If that's what you hear from God, than that is what you do. I know of a case where a talented Christian dancer and actress married a blue-collar worker whom she got saved (from Islam yet, and interracial). My wife objected very strongly, as it would hold up her career, until she lost the edge of youth for her dancing. The pastor told my wife he had discerned that it was okay. Both were right. The pastor that the marriage would work, and my wife that the woman lost a good part of her career advantage.

If you do not hear from God to the contrary, I would say ask him. If the two of you are thinking of getting married, however, make certain you go for counseling to a pastor or a Christian counselor. You need to make sure that the emotions are not becuase he led you to the Lord.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
I'd hold off if i were you. You are newly saved, and there are a lot of positive feelings and emotions that often come with that. It could be easy to project those new, positive feelings on someone you're close to, especially someone you knew before you were saved. Maybe God has a plan for the two of you, maybe not, but if you're not getting a thumbs up then i'd wait. You're also quite new in the faith and it may be a bit premature to enter into a relationship.
 
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helloIamRuthie

Guest
#8
#8
ahhh thanks so much! i love you guys! great responses
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
I agree with the others. Take your time. If this man was bold enough to talk with you about the Lord when you were lost, waits for you and asks you to lunch often, I don't see him being shy about telling you how he feels at some point. :) Good things are worth the wait. :)
 
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Renee321

Guest
#10
#10
For starters, I am so proud of you!!! Gosh that is just a great thing you've done!
Yah, I understand where you're coming from completly; I was in the same position as you for a while.
But its great that you've come out strong! Thats what I'm trying to do!
As far as it sounds, he's the guy for you.
Believe me, I may be young, but I know a lot about romance.
I'm not naive.
And I can tell that he seems like a great guy~ Probably the guy for you.
 
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helloIamRuthie

Guest
#11
#11
Renee321 said:
For starters, I am so proud of you!!! Gosh that is just a great thing you've done!
Yah, I understand where you're coming from completly; I was in the same position as you for a while.
But its great that you've come out strong! Thats what I'm trying to do!
As far as it sounds, he's the guy for you.
Believe me, I may be young, but I know a lot about romance.
I'm not naive.
And I can tell that he seems like a great guy~ Probably the guy for you.
Click to expand...
aww you are so sweet thank you! i am taking all these comments as great advice. thank you everyone. (happy face) :D
 
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kayem77

Guest
#12
#12
Ruthie, hearing from you always makes me happy. It's awesome how the Lord is working in you. Your faith is so fresh , yet so strong! :)

I would have to agree with what other said, I think the best is to wait. Wait 'till you get a clear answer from God, he might not talk to you audibly, but he will work things out according to his plan for you. Just follow in faith to what he is doing, and guard your heart. You'll see how he will guide you in the right direction, and who knows, maybe he will guide Matt to the same place you're going in faith. If not, well...he has other plans for you. Be patient . And again...I'm so happy for you!!! :D
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2011
601
10
18
#13
Ugly said:
I'd hold off if i were you. You are newly saved, and there are a lot of positive feelings and emotions that often come with that. It could be easy to project those new, positive feelings on someone you're close to, especially someone you knew before you were saved. Maybe God has a plan for the two of you, maybe not, but if you're not getting a thumbs up then i'd wait. You're also quite new in the faith and it may be a bit premature to enter into a relationship.
Click to expand...
I've never seen a post get as many "likes" as this one has. Just consider that...

Not all posts are created equal.
 
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Courteous

Guest
#14
#14
I clicked your post not knowing what it was about and it touched me deeply. I am new to understanding what it means to be Christian and have given in and fought the same demons as you. drugs,alcohol,sex,ect. Your story gives me hope, and makes me feel less alone. To your question.. I would say tell him how you feel, make sure you tell him how those feelings came about. I feel the story of how you weren't attracted to him while sinning, but when you were saved they feelings were there. They might have always been there, you couldn't recognize them until you left the past behind. Maybe I am wrong, but God put you guys on that path, he needed to show you the way, and you need to show him it worked. If it is not supposed to be between you and him, then the path and journey has just begun. Your life will be fulfilled since you are on the right path. I Hope he is meant for you, .. you sound so happy. God Bless
 
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