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John, my husband, had a small heart attack and then a massive heart attack the week before Thanksgiving. He's been in the cardiac ICU ever since, and when he stabilizes, (he's had pneumonia, got rid of that, but still has a persistent fever, and one day had a bad case of A-Fib), he's going in for open-heart surgery. They have him drugged up, so he's either asleep or his eyes are open but he doesn't respond to me. Add to that he's on a ventilator.
I knew it was highly unlikely he'd survive the first night, but later on his doctor told me the truth. Then he had a 10%-15% chance of surviving. The week later when the doctor told me that, he said he had a 50/50 to survive now. I don't think that has changed.
So, needless to say, I was freaking that first week. (Can't say I'm all that much better now, but I am somewhat better.) I wanted God to hear me loud and clear. (As if God is hard of hearing?) I remembered the Bible said if someone is sick, get the elders to pray for him and anoint him with oil. Well, we don't belong to a church, because we can't go, but there is a church we would belong to, if we could go, so I thought of them. Back then hubby was aware enough that he could nod or shake his head if I asked him questions. I asked him if he wanted elders to pray over him. He shook his head.
He also told me he didn't have that first heart attack, because he checked the Internet and he was sure it was a weird form of heartburn. (And then it got worse and worse, until he couldn't breath. He was in the middle of the massive heart attack when he let me drive him to the ER. The first thing the ER doctor told him was, "You are dying, unless I put you on a ventilator for an hour or two." I heard his response. Half of it was "Holy."The other half wasn't prim and proper for a Christian, but I smile thinking of it, because it was his full reaction. Also the last two words I've heard him speak.) So, that's just one case where he is sure it's never a big deal, it's only him, he's fine, and I shouldn't worry.
I really am a submissive wife in the good sense of that word. The immediate crisis is over, but now he can't get rid of a fever even though he has no infection. The fever has lingered for at least two weeks. I would ask him again, but when I asks him if he knows it's me, (his eyes are opened), he neither shakes his head nor nods. As long as that fever stays, he doesn't get the surgery. Nos surgery and he stays like this. He's also a good husband. He makes most of the big decisions, but only after we talk it out and the vast majority of time we agree on what that decision is. He loves me like Christ loves the church.
So, knowing all that, what would you want your wife to do here? Call the elders of a church you know? (And we have relative history from back in the 90's with that church -- I worked with one of the elders in a committee, as a member of a planted church from that church, and we were going to classes to join, but that's where we learned about the church planting in our neighborhood, so went to that one instead.) Assume first decision remains? He did say no, but at that time he didn't know he'd be stuck in limbo for weeks on end with a fever unaware of much going on.
I've had to sign for all his decisions without asking him. I never thought I'd have to face the moment when I make his decisions, but he did make that decision once. I'm just not sure if it counts two weeks later. He was shocked when he was told it was two weeks. I haven't really seen the real hubby since, Just a very sick man fighting forever.
I know you can't decide for him, but what would you want done for something like this?
I knew it was highly unlikely he'd survive the first night, but later on his doctor told me the truth. Then he had a 10%-15% chance of surviving. The week later when the doctor told me that, he said he had a 50/50 to survive now. I don't think that has changed.
So, needless to say, I was freaking that first week. (Can't say I'm all that much better now, but I am somewhat better.) I wanted God to hear me loud and clear. (As if God is hard of hearing?) I remembered the Bible said if someone is sick, get the elders to pray for him and anoint him with oil. Well, we don't belong to a church, because we can't go, but there is a church we would belong to, if we could go, so I thought of them. Back then hubby was aware enough that he could nod or shake his head if I asked him questions. I asked him if he wanted elders to pray over him. He shook his head.
He also told me he didn't have that first heart attack, because he checked the Internet and he was sure it was a weird form of heartburn. (And then it got worse and worse, until he couldn't breath. He was in the middle of the massive heart attack when he let me drive him to the ER. The first thing the ER doctor told him was, "You are dying, unless I put you on a ventilator for an hour or two." I heard his response. Half of it was "Holy."The other half wasn't prim and proper for a Christian, but I smile thinking of it, because it was his full reaction. Also the last two words I've heard him speak.) So, that's just one case where he is sure it's never a big deal, it's only him, he's fine, and I shouldn't worry.
I really am a submissive wife in the good sense of that word. The immediate crisis is over, but now he can't get rid of a fever even though he has no infection. The fever has lingered for at least two weeks. I would ask him again, but when I asks him if he knows it's me, (his eyes are opened), he neither shakes his head nor nods. As long as that fever stays, he doesn't get the surgery. Nos surgery and he stays like this. He's also a good husband. He makes most of the big decisions, but only after we talk it out and the vast majority of time we agree on what that decision is. He loves me like Christ loves the church.
So, knowing all that, what would you want your wife to do here? Call the elders of a church you know? (And we have relative history from back in the 90's with that church -- I worked with one of the elders in a committee, as a member of a planted church from that church, and we were going to classes to join, but that's where we learned about the church planting in our neighborhood, so went to that one instead.) Assume first decision remains? He did say no, but at that time he didn't know he'd be stuck in limbo for weeks on end with a fever unaware of much going on.
I've had to sign for all his decisions without asking him. I never thought I'd have to face the moment when I make his decisions, but he did make that decision once. I'm just not sure if it counts two weeks later. He was shocked when he was told it was two weeks. I haven't really seen the real hubby since, Just a very sick man fighting forever.
I know you can't decide for him, but what would you want done for something like this?
