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jeffinmaiden

Guest
#1
#1
My wife of 8 years is having an affair. I have forgiven her but she refuses to accept it and continues the affair. She has at times said she wants us to try to work things out and then whenever we talk about things she gets angry. I want to reconcile but she has not broken off contact with him nor has she shown any remorse. I still love her very much and this has broken my heart.
 
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Brighthouse

Guest
#2
#2
This is indeed a hard one to tackle with words brother. While there are many wonderful promises in God's Word to comfort, so also are there many scriptures we see to one becoming betrayed. matt 10:21-22, Matt 10:same chapter even!! 34-40 The point brother.

All of us in Christ Jesus will become betrayed that is a given,but how we deal with it is the important part! I have never married so i sure cannot speak from your shoes at all! But I have been betrayed by someone very close to me.A pastor even! You sure are in my prayers brother,I sure pray for comfort for you!(2 cor 1:3-7)

The comfort our mind must focus on is not in the betrayal but rather how Jesus himself can never, and will never betray us! I started to look at the purpose rather then the act brother.What can I learn from this? How can I grow from such hurt? And why did this happen to me in the first place?

The devil moves as Jesus moves in ones life,and the purpose for him is always to rob and steal and lie to us in thought,word, and yes deed!( john 10:10, john 8:44) if we allow our self to give him any opportunity( eph 4:27) then his roar will cause us to run away from someone who does not wish us to ever run away from him.( 1 Peter 4:8) namely Jesus himself!

We blame our Jesus for our misfortune when the blame should be placed upon who causes such betrayal!The enemy!! I sure know you need healing both in mind and body brother,and I have no doubt whatsoever Jesus will come to give you your escape from such hardship!!( 1 cor 10:13) Draw nearer and nearer to the Lord good brother,be not afraid but take comfort in these words, as well as in the words he himself shall give you in the coming days! God bless you bro!
 
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blueglasses

Guest
#3
#3
Hello
I would tend to agree with brighthouse. This is spiritual warfare.
I was in the same situation 12 years into my marriage. It is very painful but there truly is comfort in the Lord if we hide ourselves in Him. While each marriage is unique, in my case I have now been married 33 years thanks to God. I will be praying for your situation and know that we as Christians share in your pain. There is comfort in the storm. Stay close to Jesus and the bretheren. May God comfort you and give you wisdom.
Sincerely,
Your sister in the Lord.
 
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jeffinmaiden

Guest
#4
#4
Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayer. I do believe Satan has attacked my family through this and I want so badly for our family to overcome this. I am committed to forgiving her; but she will not at this time even ask for it.
 
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jeffinmaiden

Guest
#5
#5
About three years ago she had weight loss surgery. As the weight came off she began getting attention from a man at work. She liked the attention; but, it wasnt enough. She joined an online dating site and started texting and eventually meeting other men. This has gone on for two years. Last month she finally had an affair. She is now emotionally connected to this other man. I cannot begin to describe the pain and hurt that comes from this.
 
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inloveandhopless

Guest
#6
#6
I will pray for you, for your wife and for god to heal both of you and your relationship! Keep Jesus in your heart and let God carry you through this
 
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meah04

Guest
#7
#7
Hi,

We have the same situation. God sees us and hears us. Just said a prayer for you & your wife. Plod on! He's watching. Godbless! ^_^
 
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brokenclay

Guest
#8
#8
Dear brother. It is very painful to go through what you are experiencing. It's hard to imagine this but there are actually sisters in Christ who are going through this with their husbands. Satan attacks the place that hurts the most. Many Christians are falling because they are not keeping in check with the Lord. A good friend and brother in the Lord went through this one time. He did not stoop to any level his former wife tried to bring him down to. Then she would have felt better about her own sins against her body. There are previous posts on here similar to your situation. Keep calling on the Lord for mercy. Be faithful like Job. Satan is the master of distraction. He attacks whosoever will let him. Now guard your heart diligently. Your enemy wants you to feel hurt, desperate and vengeful. These are part of what your corruptible flesh is vulnerable to. Don't assume you are right with God and she is not. Ask God to search your heart. Create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you. Jesus is your Master; obey him. Do the unthinkable; pray for those who despitely use you and heep coals of fire upon your enemy. But don't be gullible either. Jesus did not come to let people walk all over him. In order for Him to win the victory on our behalf he could not rely on one person; only the Father whom sent him. And He says to you; So send I you. Don't fall for distractions. Stand fast in the Lord. Put on the full armour of God. Cling to brothers who will keep you in prayer and be available to you. Don't say: Oh, im ok; I can handle it. Nope! Once you are isolated Satan will bring you down. Keep talking on here if you must. But keep someone you trust in the Lord with you as a friend. May God fill you his peace. May God convict your wife of her sin and bring her to repentance. Jesus knows he is under attack in your body and in your wife's body. Will you surrender your all on the alter? Be blessed. In His matchless name; Amen!
 
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jeffinmaiden

Guest
#9
#9
brokenclay said:
Dear brother. It is very painful to go through what you are experiencing. It's hard to imagine this but there are actually sisters in Christ who are going through this with their husbands. Satan attacks the place that hurts the most. Many Christians are falling because they are not keeping in check with the Lord. A good friend and brother in the Lord went through this one time. He did not stoop to any level his former wife tried to bring him down to. Then she would have felt better about her own sins against her body. There are previous posts on here similar to your situation. Keep calling on the Lord for mercy. Be faithful like Job. Satan is the master of distraction. He attacks whosoever will let him. Now guard your heart diligently. Your enemy wants you to feel hurt, desperate and vengeful. These are part of what your corruptible flesh is vulnerable to. Don't assume you are right with God and she is not. Ask God to search your heart. Create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you. Jesus is your Master; obey him. Do the unthinkable; pray for those who despitely use you and heep coals of fire upon your enemy. But don't be gullible either. Jesus did not come to let people walk all over him. In order for Him to win the victory on our behalf he could not rely on one person; only the Father whom sent him. And He says to you; So send I you. Don't fall for distractions. Stand fast in the Lord. Put on the full armour of God. Cling to brothers who will keep you in prayer and be available to you. Don't say: Oh, im ok; I can handle it. Nope! Once you are isolated Satan will bring you down. Keep talking on here if you must. But keep someone you trust in the Lord with you as a friend. May God fill you his peace. May God convict your wife of her sin and bring her to repentance. Jesus knows he is under attack in your body and in your wife's body. Will you surrender your all on the alter? Be blessed. In His matchless name; Amen!
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That prayer you said is what Ive been praying too. It will continue. I have forgiven her; although she plans to continue her affair as I write this. She has shown no action towards reconciliation, only a few words. Please continue to pray for our marriage; but, I fear she will ultimately choose to leave it. She does not want to hear Gods Word at all.
 
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jeffinmaiden

Guest
#10
#10
siddhibansal1221 said:
Same here, I am also suffering this problem . I think god is not so crude they will hear and Help us .



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Last night my wife came to bedroom where I was sleeping (we are still in the same house), she laid down beside me and held my hand all night. We did not talk; but I have prayed that God place a hedge around her so that she will return to me. I will continue this prayer and hope she listens to God's will.
 
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jeffinmaiden

Guest
#11
#11
I neglected to mention that thru all of this I have been telling my wife how much I love her. Telling her how wrong her affair is and that she should stop all the while I have been lying to her sleeping with a woman from Gastonia named Kristy. I tell Kristy I love her then immediately call my wife and tell her the same. I have been on various porn sites and dating sites but keeping this from my wife. I feel I am justified because she is having an affair and did it first.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#12
Mar 13, 2014
41,320
16,305
113
69
Tennessee
#12
jeffinmaiden said:
I neglected to mention that thru all of this I have been telling my wife how much I love her. Telling her how wrong her affair is and that she should stop all the while I have been lying to her sleeping with a woman from Gastonia named Kristy. I tell Kristy I love her then immediately call my wife and tell her the same. I have been on various porn sites and dating sites but keeping this from my wife. I feel I am justified because she is having an affair and did it first.
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These actions by the both of you are deplorable and without justification.
 
blondensmart

blondensmart

Room Moderator
Staff member
#13
Jan 19, 2014
108
36
28
#13
Brother,

I know that it took a lot to admit your own sins. I see in your first posts how you were elevating yourself by continually saying you would forgive her, but now you've admitted that you're just as guilty as she is. Now, I believe you are ready to begin the true work that must be done to save your marriage.

It is apparent through the actions of both you and your wife that you have failed to give God his righteous place in your marriage - right in the center of it! May you both begin to seek His face and allow Him to restore to you what has been lost through recent events.

Many will probably come down hard on you, but remember that we are all sinners! We are all worthless in our own right, and desperately need the righteous cloak of Jesus to cover us.

Prayers and thoughts are with you, Brother.
 
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elf3

Guest
#14
#14
Jeff, I noticed by the dates on your posts that it has been over a year between your most recent post and the earlier ones. Can I ask as to why it has been so long? What all the sudden brought about this confession?
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#15
Jan 24, 2011
11,781
2,947
113
#15
Jeff, there is NEVER any justification for sin! You are now an adulterer, too! You need to repent, change your attitude, or you are going to spend the rest of your life jumping from one tangled relationship to another.

God does not want you to leave the wife of your youth, even if she has betrayed you! Praying you break off with this new woman, and that you can get the marriage counseling you so desperately need.

Love is NOT a feeling. Marriage is a commitment that you have now also despoiled.

“Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” Mal. 2:15-16

God will judge you on what you have done, not on what your wife has done. So please get your accounts straight before God.
 
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honeybee

Guest
#16
#16
Women are to be quiet in church. Men are the head respect and tell men to lead in prayer and study.
 
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honeybee

Guest
#17
#17
I am banned for saying doctrine. It is written women are to be quiet in church. We learn more this way. We are to ask men to pra and lead in bible study if men are there. I was kicked for this and it is written in the bible.
 
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