Need some helpful kid advice

[answers]

Hello everyone,

I have recently had a conversation with my ten year old daughter that has stirred up some emotions. My daughter goes to a real small school, one class per grade, Pre-school through eighth grade and 200 kids. So, she has been with for the most part the same kids every year. All the girls have seemed friendly, kind, religious, and so on.

Last night before bed I climbed into bed to chat with my baby and she starts telling me how kids are not being very nice. Long story short the girls are becoming clicky and the boys are picking on her (flirting). She is really hurt, mainly because her best friends are being rude, giving her dirty looks, and even have done some physical things out of anger. She has not told anyone but me. She walks away from the conflict, but has said to some that she didn't like that, or something was mean.

Okay, so I explained typical society bull, and then reminded her about the amount and duration Jesus suffered. She went to school and today one of the girls punched her in the stomache (not sure if she was being mean) my daughter said she just turned around without saying anything.

Sorry it is taking so long to get to the point, but my question is how would you explain 1) how to deal with this? 2) what bible verses would be helpful? 3) how to get a ten year old to understand that friends aren't that important? (she thinks she isn't going to have friends if she doesn't remain friends with them)


Help........ My heart is breaking. She is the most fair, kind, honest, mindful child.

 

[LouiseDritz]

Hmm...I'm bullied at school, too. I, too have asked how I can handle bullying -- I don't have any friends at my school, and bullying is hard to deal with! Maybe you could put a prayer request in the prayer request section, praying always helps.
God Bless,
~Louise

 

[preachersaul]

All I can think of is to pray for you both. I got bullied at school big time, so I understand but I don't have any advice for parents. God blees youboth and be with. God grant you wisdom and strength. May God give you peace.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

I assume your authorities care just as little about this as the Norwegian ones, but in theory you can report bullying to the police if all else fails.

(I don't care what kind of excuses people make, in my opinion, bullying sort under mental torture, and physical violence is just as bad as someone randomly attacking someone on the street, which would normally lead to some kind of legal reacting.)

Now of course I am not saying to arrest ten- year- old, but there should be some kind of system that will affect either the kids or their parents if they repeatedly attack others.

I think all you really can do is make sure your child knows she is loved, and that whatever the bullies say they are lying. You could also point out that if they all do it to gang up on her, that just means she is braver than them because she is herself, rather than following the pack.

 

[moment_of_faith]

I say it's nothing wrong with defending yourself. Sometimes it works wonders .. You can always tell someone you love them as you pick them up off the floor. Give em a hug.

 

[Lucy68]

I think the teachers and administrators would want to know if there are children punching other children. Especially since this is a Christian school (?).

If the boys are flirting with her could it be the other girls are jealous? Not that that makes it alright but it would help her to understand what is going on and not take it so personally.

Jesus did say 'turn the other cheek' but is a 10 yr old's self-image strong enough to take belittling? I think it is adult's responsibility to protect these young ones from bullying. That is probably an unpopular belief. But all of these children need godly-character training, which I think is part of a good Christian curriculm. For learning to take place in any school situation the children need to have a authoritative and safe environment.

 

[Wonderland]

Bullying is not ok, and as of 2007 bullying in schools is against federal law. If you want it to stop, though, you MUST file a formal complaint with the school. Then school administrators must take reasonable action to make it stop. If they do not, you can press charges against the school.

That's what I would do. Children kill themselves over issues like this (not to be crass or over-dramatic. It is true though). Maybe if school administrators get involved, the parents of those other kids will get involved. You could try talking to the other parents as a first step I guess, but sometimes that can make the bullying worse. In any case, please get involved and protect your daughter.

 

[answers]

Thanks everyone.

 

[psychomom]

Flirting at age ten???

I will pray for you, and especially for your baby girl.
We had some smiilar troubles with our eldest. The Lord's solution was for us to homeschool.
I realize this is a calling, and it is not God's answer for everyone, but you might want to pray about it?
God had been telling us to homeschool for a year, but it was the trouble our daughter was having with cliques and verbal harrassment (from a teacher, off all people) that finally made us obedient.

*sigh* If only we had done as we were told when we were told. It has brought us so much joy.

With another mother's compassion I will pray for your child. Your job is to love and protect her the best you can.
How the Lord will direct you to do that, I do not know. Maybe through school officials, changing classrooms, or the legal authorities.
I pray you hear Him, and for your little one's safety and peace.

love,
ellie

 

[shekaniah]

Phil 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

I would like to think the saying;...Whatever! Come from this verse.
Because we are to think on whatever is true...it's like claiming it by saying "Whatever".
You take away the power of their words by claiming what God says.

I always told my kids blow it off! And laugh at their words!
If she could laugh and say; "Whatever...your just jealous!" She would be claiming what is true!

2 Tim 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Psalm 34:7
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

Have her claim these verses before she leaves for school.
She will have confidence and wisdom!

I have prayed for you both with the heart of a Mom who has been there!