Not really a biblical discussion. More of a glimpse within

[StandStrong]

A peek behind the curtains
A crack in the masqurade
A slip inside the turmoil
But just a pinch of the darkness deep within

Not sure why i am really posting this...
but it needs to come out...
needs to be silenced...
needs to shout...

Part One

Death and Silence

In the darkness all is still
In the shadow all is quiet
Something is just not right

A voice from within it rips through me
A voice tears from my lips
A voice from me, yet not quite my own...

How long must i endure the inquity of my own
How long must i seek Thee in vain
How long do i endure the silence of confusion

The mockery of stillness and shame
The depths of Your anger
the torture of Your denial

The silence is unforgiving, is poison to the very depths of my aching soul.....

If this is my punishment then end my sufferings end my torture and my despair.....

Part Two

Where is He??

Where is He???

Where is He in the darkness
Where is He when the chains of my bondage threaten to take hold
Where is He when the voices of my path echo through my mind
tearing my rationale and shattering my state of mind

Why does He ignore the claws at my throat,
The ribbons of flesh that once was and now is nevermore
Why does He turn against me in my plight
mock me in my distress

When i seek His face He hides His grace
When I seek His presence i find only my yestur years
As i lay drowning in my torment and pain
He stands just out of reach He stands and stares...

What now??

Part 3

The War Rages On

I battle to the last broken breath
till the last shattered bone can fight no longer
till the scarred and lonely soul gives its last

I fight till i can fight no longer
till the last scream trapped within consumes me with madness
till the coarse raspy voice can utter no sound

I war till the war shreds the last remnant of my very existance
till the darkness encompasses the last shattered pieces of my sorrow and pain
till the chains tighten against the severed pieces of my very soul

And then when i can fight no longer
when the age of this world suffers my warring members to cease
when the battle is lost and my soul is defeated

Still i rise and fight
Still i stand and war
Yet i stumble and fall Still I battle

over the horizon i yearn for the horn
i struggle to hold on until the blessed sight of the calvary
yet i fight

 

[LT]

I'm not sure if this is alongside what you are talking about, but I felt a kindred spirit when reading this post.

Men are separated from God in two ways: By their actions, and by their position. This separation is symbolized by the Veil.
The veil in the temple was torn when Christ made God's atonement available to all men.
In this same way, the veil that separates us from God will be torn down on the Last Day when we see Jesus coming in His glory!
The veil that separates us from God is sin; it is ourselves: our lives, our mortality. Just as light filters through a veil, when we make less of ourselves, God is able to shine through the us. Those moments when we feel like we are experiencing God, is usually when we are no longer clinging to this life, but fully longing for the next!

 

[StandStrong]

your post is very encouraging. what i originally posted is kind of what i am going through right now, kind of how i feel sometimes... when i came to Christ i know that my sins were forgiven, but i am still battling with the strongholds of my past pulling me down trying to enslave me once again....

 

[chatter23]

"The silence is unforgiving, is poison to the very depths of my aching soul.....

If this is my punishment then end my sufferings end my torture and my despair"



It is in the silence that God is listening. When He speaks it is inaudible, but, changes take place in the soul.

 

[konroh]

You're probably familiar w/ Psalm 88. You'll notice it's made to be a worship song, and it doesn't end with a resolution, or even a solution. One answer I've found is that there are times when God sets us free, and we never go back. There are other times that God sets us free and we continue to struggle. It's only in the struggle that we get stronger. If you never face the struggle then how do you have the power to resist when temptation calls again? If it were easy, we wouldn't build up the power to resist.