Hello,
Thank you all for you replies. Still.feel very new in my walk with God.so please bare with me. I have a few questions.
Are you saying that I must obey him regardless how it makes me feel? isn't it wrong though. To do something when the other doesn't want to. I understand sex is important. But surely doing something when the other doesn't it wrong wrong and not something God would want?
We have been together 11 years this year. His views towards sex are very different to how God intended it. It's more photos and videos and awful talk. And that's kinda if putting. How do I obey him and keep God happy. I'm not comftable in some things he would like. How do I live a christian life when.he wants to tempt me away at times.
Don't get me wrong he's the most living person I've met. And so supportive if me being Gods daughter, though he doesn't fully understand what it means. He doesn't like some things I believe in.
Any way I agreed to see a Dr which I did today. He's out me on a anti depressants. But I'm unsure about taking them, I will take them because I want to work this out. But I feel like I'm not doing the right thing with medication. Thanks for reading x
With the sexual issue I think perhaps you could think of all the reasons you are finding it difficult to enjoy the contact and intimacy with your husband and maybe address those things first. You need to know exactly what they are and dig deep, then address them with yourself or/and with your husband so you or the two of you together can begin to fix or change things. Always remember that as much as they know us and everything about us our husbands still lack the ability to read our minds or even to guess what we're thinking, at times they can be far off the mark.
Be up-front and tell him how you feel and what can or may be able to help to improve the situation, maybe he needs to be more romantic or spontaneous, or maybe less sex driven, even a couple of weeks break from sexual activities might give you time to think about how to resolve the matter to be able to become more intimate with him.
You've been together a long time and any relationship has it's tests. We go from falling head over heels to just another day type scenario and our responsibilities for each other grows taking a lot of the old spontaneous stuff and drive out of us, things become un-necessary. Think about all the things at the beginning of the relationship, all the drive to maybe look nice for him and those feelings of wanting to be near him always, how you would feel when he touched you then in the beginning, how not only he was, but how you were also, how much fun it was. How much you wanted to be with him and why. Maybe you could ask him to do the same, or if you feel you can't do that maybe help him in small ways to remember some of those things.
Also I think it's important to remember that you have found God after he knew you so you yourself will probably be going through changes on the inside which he probably won't understand, you may find yourself becoming a new person inside but he did choose to love the person you were, not the one you are becoming. You need to remember who you were for him and bring this new you gradually into the marriage at a pace that he can deal with, you need to be patient and considerate, even if his ways now seem wrong or negligent towards God give him time, he may need lots or a little and gradually introduce him to God and pray that he hears and receives and have faith that one day he will. But remember it is you who has changed on him in this way, it's unfair of us to expect everyone around us to change the same way at the same time. All we can do is pray, have faith, hope and believe that God will do and give what's best for us as he knows things we can't forsee which is why it's important to let him lead and ask for guidance. You can live a Christian life next to him and be with him and grow stronger from temptations as you pass them up, and his offering or insisting of these will fade the more you do.
Your husband not believing just means that you have to be stronger and patient for your family so you can help to lead them to follow Yeshua and believe as you do. You just may be the way for them all so hang in there! They may need much time but in the meantime try to come to peace with your circumstances, what they do is not a reflection on you and your obedience and commitment to God. Love all and always and in all ways possible. Pray for your family to follow. I wish you all the best and pray that you receive the guidance for you and your family.
I hope this was helpful in some way, all the best x
