I understand that. But you to completely rely on God and our prayers for you. Please stop worrying and just trust Him okay? He's willing to deliver you from your situation but you've to BELIEVE in Him. Remember what Jesus said about the birds of the air? Even though they didn't sow or reap God fed them, and you're so much more than birds. So please don't let yourself be in despair over what you're going though. God WILL help you. You know He will, so go Him and believe in Him, because He cares the most, not me, not your family or friends, not other members here on cc, not even your husband, only God. Hang in there okay?