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Forgiveness is really hard, especially when someone goes out of their way to hurt you. The more un-Godly their act, the more personal their act, the more targeted their act against you - the harder it becomes.
But, as Nukreation said, unforgiveness is a poison. If you do not forgive it will sit there silently poisoning your fellowship not only with other Christians but with God as well. It will help you to become a gossip, perhaps even helping others to become such as well. It will help you "murder" someone in your mind, through the hate you will build up against them. It will help you to not be any kind of witness for Christ at all.
Asking God to help you forgive is a good start.
Remembering how much God forgave you, when you became a Christian, might put it in perspective for you.
Deciding to forgive and then doing it, is what we are supposed to do.
Whether you can forget what they did to you and ever trust them again, is a bit of another story and a little more dependent upon the situation....
But, as Nukreation said, unforgiveness is a poison. If you do not forgive it will sit there silently poisoning your fellowship not only with other Christians but with God as well. It will help you to become a gossip, perhaps even helping others to become such as well. It will help you "murder" someone in your mind, through the hate you will build up against them. It will help you to not be any kind of witness for Christ at all.
Asking God to help you forgive is a good start.
Remembering how much God forgave you, when you became a Christian, might put it in perspective for you.
Deciding to forgive and then doing it, is what we are supposed to do.
Whether you can forget what they did to you and ever trust them again, is a bit of another story and a little more dependent upon the situation....
W
Start off with : "God, I want to forgive this person (Can you help me please?)".
Then, when thoughts of unforgiveness appears, try to pray for them.
After a while it feels strange to hold on to the pain / anger or other bad feelings, because you start thinking "How can I feel this way towards someone I have asked God to help / bless?".
And finally: Broken hearts take time to heal, don't get mad at yourself if it takes long, as long as you sincerely keep trying
Then, when thoughts of unforgiveness appears, try to pray for them.
After a while it feels strange to hold on to the pain / anger or other bad feelings, because you start thinking "How can I feel this way towards someone I have asked God to help / bless?".
And finally: Broken hearts take time to heal, don't get mad at yourself if it takes long, as long as you sincerely keep trying
A lot of the time, you'll have to forgive someone many times for the same offense. I find that I'll forgive someone, and then later it will come back up in my heart, so I'll have to forgive them again. It doesn't mean that you didn't forgive them the first time, it's just an ongoing process. It's only a problem if the next time it comes up, you refuse to forgive them.
P
Emotions are really tricky ... What our Hearts want to do verses what our mind and emotions play in it can really throw a anxiety into us when we then compare all of it to what Jesus instructs us to do .. I learned a process called REED
Recognize --- what is happening
Express---- all Emotions to God
Evaluate---- wwjd?
Decide---- ask for Gida help, pray them decide
I also learned some other helpful tools to remind me of some things
Emotions have been built in us to "relate and communicate with God First, then others"
Emotions are like a built in alarm system
These emotions go off like alarms when we are straying "away" from God instead of to Him
So, when we are forgetting to forgive amd release Gods mercy, the alarm of anger goes off.. we are straying away from Gods perfact will and plan for out life.
This alarm goes off when we are or have bought into the lie that we do not need to forgive or release Gods mercy.
Anger is the alarm
Loneliness is another built in alarm when we are straying "away" away from God.
This built in alarm goes off when we are or have bought into a lie that we can receive " more" love from someone or something over God.. Loneliness is the alarm we need to spend more time with God
Anxiety and stress--- two other built in alarms put in us by God to go off when we are buying the lie or believe that we can do anything without Gods help, or are doing things God has not brought to us to do.. His word tells us "without me you can do nothing"
Fear is another alarm that goes of when we are or have bought a lie that someone or something is in more control than God is.. God did nit put the spirit of fear in us .. If we are fearful we believe someone or something is in more control than God.. Nothing is!!
Hope this sheds some light
Peace
Michelle
Recognize --- what is happening
Express---- all Emotions to God
Evaluate---- wwjd?
Decide---- ask for Gida help, pray them decide
I also learned some other helpful tools to remind me of some things
Emotions have been built in us to "relate and communicate with God First, then others"
Emotions are like a built in alarm system
These emotions go off like alarms when we are straying "away" from God instead of to Him
So, when we are forgetting to forgive amd release Gods mercy, the alarm of anger goes off.. we are straying away from Gods perfact will and plan for out life.
This alarm goes off when we are or have bought into the lie that we do not need to forgive or release Gods mercy.
Anger is the alarm
Loneliness is another built in alarm when we are straying "away" away from God.
This built in alarm goes off when we are or have bought into a lie that we can receive " more" love from someone or something over God.. Loneliness is the alarm we need to spend more time with God
Anxiety and stress--- two other built in alarms put in us by God to go off when we are buying the lie or believe that we can do anything without Gods help, or are doing things God has not brought to us to do.. His word tells us "without me you can do nothing"
Fear is another alarm that goes of when we are or have bought a lie that someone or something is in more control than God is.. God did nit put the spirit of fear in us .. If we are fearful we believe someone or something is in more control than God.. Nothing is!!
Hope this sheds some light
Peace
Michelle