I know God is full of forgiveness, but there is something that puzzles me at the moment. So you say you are a Christian, then you go on and live in sin, hurting people around you, refusing to change your way of life, giving yourself totally to the pleasures of this world, sinning against God, others and yourself. Then one day all roads close before you and you remember you fell, and turn back. So now you are a saint again, living happily and without a care, still enjoying some of the benefits you got while being away from God, while other people still suffer the consequences of your sinful actions. It puzzles me.
Speaking from experience here, and just a thought: We shouldn't live as if we never sinned, or that we weren't affected at all by what happened, however we are to rejoice in the LORD for where He brought us from, for His love, mercy, grace, compassion, and forgiveness to us. It's just like how we need to look back at our past in a positive aspect from time to time in life, and share that testimony with others for God's honor and glory, and the building up of His kingdom....but DON'T focus on it, and allow Satan to use it against us, or to make us feel guilty.We rejoice in the righteousness of God, and that He has convicted our heart, to the point that we just can't ignore or deny Him, and that He has drawn us nigh to Him again. As far as still enjoying benefits we got while being away from God, that's typically the fleshly desire we have, and it's temptation that Satan loves to use against us. Then sometimes, it's a case of where God blessed us with something, despite the fact we were away from Him and where we needed to be with Him, so that it would serve as a reminder to us, that no matter what's going on, no matter where we are in life, etc. He is still God, the Almighty, Lord, Savior, Creator, Master, Alpha and Omega, the Beginning, and the End....that He loves us unconditionally no matter what we may do, and that He is right there waiting for us to turn back to Him, just like the Prodigal son.That although we're so undeserving of His blessings, He still pours them upon us abundantly, not for our own sake, but for His. He knows that it will open our spiritual eyes, to see Him again, which is going to hit us like a ton of bricks so to speak, and stop us in our tracks. Take us from the broad path of wickedness, unrighteousness, selfishness, etc. and put us back on the narrow path of His pureness, righteousness,holiness, selflessness, and living for Him. In accordance of His plan, calling, and will for this walk of life.
And even after reading it, every time I saw the title I still thought it was directly referencing you. :/