Pastor divorcing because of adultery

[KJ22]

Several days ago, I posted a thread about my pastor going through divorce. http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/64240-what-if-your-pastor-going-through-divorce.html

It has since been confirmed that the divorce is the result of adultery. The allegations are pretty bad. The church's leaders are aware of the circumstances. However, they have decided not to remove the pastor. My questions are: Do I have any responsibility as a congregant to say or do anything about this situation? 1 Timothy 3 prescribes the qualifications for overseers and deacons, but is there any scripture that speaks to the duty/role of the everyday congregant? The church is more than one man, so I'm reluctant to believe that I should simply find another church? Finally, I, of course, am not perfect and just as easily susceptible to temptation. Nonetheless, I am really upset that he remains pastor given the circumstances. Have I crossed the line into ungodly judgment? After all, who am I to judge whether the pastor is qualified to remain in his position or not?

I am praying for the pastor, his wife, and our church.

 

[Ariel82]

mmm they could be false allegations and the leadership is waiting to see if there is any truth to the charges? the whole innocent until proven guilty.

I would pray about it. Avoid him until you have peace from God to either say something or let it go.

personally I wouldn't attend services of a pastor I don't trust, but you say you go to a big church so maybe you can go to services he is not preaching?

 

[maxwel]

First of all, the bible says we ARE to use judgement, in the sense of "discernment".

Second, I can see Ariel's point about waiting till the charges are proven, or confessed.
Maybe this has already happened, maybe not.

The scripture certainly does seem to disqualify someone from being a pastor if they are an adulterer.
And honestly, it just seems like common sense.
If a man can't be faithful to his own wife, the person closest to him, and his "first ministry"...
then how could you expect him to be faithful to his other areas of ministry,
like the congregation, and the clear preaching of the bible?

I would not be able to stay in a church that was led by someone who couldn't keep a commitment of fidelity to his own wife. This is just a symptom; it is the external manifestation of very serious underlying character issues. And those character issues ARE going to affect his judgement in other areas.

Can God forgive him?
Sure.
Should others try to forgive him?
Sure.
Does any of that mean he's qualified to be a pastor?
No.

He absolutely should have forgiveness, and compassion.
But that doesn't mean he should be a pastor.

Here's an even worse problem.
If the leaders of the church still want to keep him on as pastor,
then there is a serious lack of "discernment" throughout the entire leadership of the church.
To me, this seem like an even a bigger issue than what the pastor did.

I realize these things are painful, and hurt everyone in the congregation.
I hope someone is able to make good decisions, and I hope there is healing.

 

[GreenNnice]

The pastor should seek forgiveness from the congregation, and, after that, what should happen?

The Lord leads Hopefully, the pastor is contrite. I seem to recall someone named 'David' who was contrite of the wrong he did with Bathsheba (adultery) . God forgave him pretty good, in fact, God called David 'a man after His own heart' .

God esteems this type of individual, hopefully, this pastor, through his flesh weakness realizes the He is strong, that He 'will look' to, or, find 'favor, on those who come to him, crying, repenting, understanding God's will will be done. We should want it done too, just like Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane: "Father, take this cup from me, but Thy will be done."

Isaiah 66:2

King James Version (KJV)

[SUP]2 [/SUP]For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the Lord: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

 

[SparkleEyes]

If he is the adulterer, he should be removed from any pastoral/leadership position. When he has healed, processed the issues that go with this kind of sin and have adequately recovered, he can be placed back in a leadership/pastor position.

I would NOT go to a church that is lead by a man who has been a confirmed and admitted adulterer.....until he has been deemed ready again for leadership. This is a case where you have to TRUST the elders and other leadership to do the right thing. If they DO NOT remove the pastor before he has "gotten right with God" again, the elders are not leading that church well.

 

[Jordache]

This is certainly a sticky situation. Just a few years before I moved here, there was a situation in my current church similar to this. The pastors wife of 25 years decided she wanted a divorce. I don't know all the allegations, but fidelity wasn't an issue. I believe it was more an issue of unresolved conflict. During that time the pastor submitted himself to the other leadership of the church. He was not pursuing the divorce. He was completely against it, but as we all know it only takes one spouse to divorce. While he was the more innocent of the two involved, he came to the church in humility. I do not know exactly what was said, but the congregation as a whole was given sufficient information. Many people left the church because they sided with the wife, or couldn't figure out who to side with. The pastor openly admitted his failure as a husband and sought forgiveness. Eventually he was asked to break from his leadership. I believe it was a period of 3 years. This is didn't graciously and humbly. He has since been reinstated and also remarried, but he is a better man because of it.
So in your case, I believe its important to realize you don't have all the facts. While no matter the cause for divorce, it's still probably a good idea for the pastor to step down, it's hard to determine that. We have leaders for reasons. Whether we agree with them or not, they are accountable to God for their choices. I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer to this. God has used people in sin over and over to further his kingdom. Many people like to say that if we sin then we are useless to God, but this is simply not true. David was a royal screw up but even in his sin he had a profound effect on the lives of his people. Peter was a real but horrible example, but he was the ROCK. Moses had issues, but he was still considered the humblest of all men. The point is God doesn't just work through the righteous ones, so to say. I would ask the Lord what he would like you to do as far as moving or staying. Otherwise, I would trust that the Lord will handle this man. Whether his leaders handle this correctly is a mute point... God is still in ultimate control.

 

[danschance]

He needs to step down and get some help.

 

[danschance]

Several days ago, I posted a thread about my pastor going through divorce. http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/64240-what-if-your-pastor-going-through-divorce.html

It has since been confirmed that the divorce is the result of adultery. The allegations are pretty bad. The church's leaders are aware of the circumstances. However, they have decided not to remove the pastor. My questions are: Do I have any responsibility as a congregant to say or do anything about this situation? 1 Timothy 3 prescribes the qualifications for overseers and deacons, but is there any scripture that speaks to the duty/role of the everyday congregant? The church is more than one man, so I'm reluctant to believe that I should simply find another church? Finally, I, of course, am not perfect and just as easily susceptible to temptation. Nonetheless, I am really upset that he remains pastor given the circumstances. Have I crossed the line into ungodly judgment? After all, who am I to judge whether the pastor is qualified to remain in his position or not?


I am praying for the pastor, his wife, and our church.

Let the church leaders handle the situation. Clearly he needs to step down. If they do not remove him from office, you need to leave and find a church that follows the bible.

 

[follower2]

Just pointing out, everyone sins no? that is the whole point, if every pastor who sinned got kicked off the church, there would not be any pastors left. Be careful not to be too quick to judge.

 

[follower2]

EDIT: Um also, isnt it only a sin if he decides to marry someone else? he is only commiting adultery if he marries another. Maybe I'm wrong.

 

[ShyForHim]

Just pointing out, everyone sins no? that is the whole point, if every pastor who sinned got kicked off the church, there would not be any pastors left. Be careful not to be too quick to judge.

Although we're all humans and sin, a Pastor is the shepherd of the sheep, the leader of the church. If I knew my pastor did such thing, I would consider seeking a new church. They're the prime example for people.

 

[KJ22]

EDIT: Um also, isnt it only a sin if he decides to marry someone else? he is only commiting adultery if he marries another. Maybe I'm wrong.

You are right about not judging too quickly, but he has allegedly committed adultery (multiple times) and is divorcing because of it. So there is sin already. I don't think he should be kicked out of the church. i just think he should be lovingly asked to leave the pulpit for a time to address this matter, his family, and his own relationship with God. Frankly, both he and the church would be better for it.

I appreciate the replies. I agree that my family should let the church leaders handle it as an earlier reply said. We will give it some time and prayer before deciding to leave the church. Generally, though; with current facts, I don't think we can stay at this church if the allegations are true.

 

[danschance]

We had a popular youth pastor who was about to take over as senior pastor at a 2000 member church. but his adultery became uncovered. He had a beautiful wife and a gorgeous daughter. He was involved sexually with the worship leader, a single woman and then it was also discovered that there was another woman, a married woman that he was also sexually involved with at the same time.

He and the worship leader were both asked to admit the affair and apologize to the congregation at the Friday night service and both Sunday services. It was ugly and shocking. Some youth were crying many ladies were crying. It was horrible. They both lost their jobs, reputations, income and who knows what else. The youth pastor also had his ordination revoked.



Sexual affairs must seem very exciting in the beginning but the end of it can be ugly and very painful. It is not just damaging for those who got caught, but they leave a wake full of pain behind them.

 

[Pen014]

hardened as a tablet broken as a heart.

 

[Katy-follower]

In a church I grew up in, the pastor committed adultery with someone in the congregation and got her pregnant even. He rightfully made the decision to step down, though many begged him to stay, because he was a gifted pastor. How could he preach on adultery when he was guilty of this himself? That would make him a hypocrite. The enemy was in that church because all went downhill at that point, treasurers stealing money from the church and certain people being persecuted for their service to God. Very sad.

Would you believe that in the next church we went to the pastor also stepped down. His unmarried christian daughter got pregnant to a Muslim man and he didn't feel he could pastor the church any longer as a result.

I think any pastor in a position like this would feel it necessary to step down.

Edit: the pastor that committed adultery was severely chastised by God (as were those who were doing sinful things in the church) and the pastor suffered greatly after the incident. He backslid because of his suffering and only in the last couple of years has come back to God, but no longer a pastor. Very sad, but he was on my mind lately and I'm glad he's back

 

[fredjames]

Peace be with you, the finishing part of your confession was genuine and true, may GOD the FATHER of our LORD JESUS CHRIST bless you and keep you from evil.
It is not easy to be a leader but a leader must be a role model to the lambs and sheeps of GOD through CHRIST as a church. The HOLY SPIRIT's Law instructions book of CHRIST says it all already.
CHRIST in Apostle Paul's instructions letter to Timothy whom is to continue for the church says it clearly, having two or three witnesses regarding the same matter to warn such leader in front of the congregation as a warning to all of them.
If anyone do not have any witnesses, do not bring charges against the leader.
Let us pray to the LORD regarding this matter and also help for this brethren to attend another church because he might go through a battle within himself if he continue that may lead him to be tempted to sin.
May GOD the FATHER of our LORD JESUS CHRIST bless those who have taken part in prayer for a good cause of love.

 

[Unintended]

Let me come at this from a different
perspective.

Pastors are held to an high standard from
scripture as preachers.

They are held to an incredible high
standard in the form of church today and even unrealistically so.


People expect the pastors to be perfect in all they do yet we
that are the congregation somehow don’t have to act like they act.
We are all battling a nature that does not wish to concede defeat.
There is victory in Christ and in the sanctification of a life of
faith in actions. The problem is some have claimed a level that they
were not able to maintain because faith was being replaced with pride
in ones position.

The statement of I will not go to a church
where the final statement is not about the adultery.
This is a
statement of oh no my reputation or what will people think.
I
find it to be incredibly selfish to abandon ship once the seas get
rough and would be bold enough to ask why you were there in the first
place, was it to feel good or to put your faith into action.
No
final decision has been made by the elders is at the minimum foolish
and at the worst being incredibly judgmental of character and person
with no compassion or mercy being shown.

It is my assumption
here like in my church that the church elders have been put in place
because of good repute and a dedicated love of Christ and his
bride.

A church body is a community you DO NOT RIP APART THAT
COMMUNITY EVER over the actions of one person.

Its time to
practice what you preach and what you read. IT is time to be merciful
and understanding while standing in the truth that has been given to
you.
IT IS NOT TIME to take things into your own hands because of
your own sense of indignation.

WE as a body need to understand
that GOD hates SIN because it destroys the creature that he loves and
wants to have a relationship with. Now ask yourself are you filled
with loathing at the SIN that is destroying a pastor and his wife or
are you loathing the man that committed the sin..

ID suggest
people take a step back and put the swords down and hit their knees
in prayer ASKING GOD to prepare them for how he wants to use them in
the situation.

Just my 2 shekels.

 

[fredjames]

Peace be with you Mr. we are talking about things spoken in the Holy Scripture and not by assumption of your heart of all deceitful. You have not fully quoted from the Holy Scripture about your statement. The only one you are against is the HOLY SPIRIT of the Holy Scripture of true life. Apart from them, comes from the devil.
If you continue, you will pay the price of being ship wrecked.
May GOD the FATHER of our LORD JESUS CHRIST bless you to come out of your ignorance of the living truth.

 

[J-Kay]

Proverbs 15:10 Correction is grievous to him that forsakes the way: and he that hates reproof shall die.

We each have a story to share don't we ? I am saying what I believe about the Pastor who commited
adultery. One who has confessed to it and ask forgiveness, should step down from the pulpit for the
length of time God orders. It would be up to the Elders and Deacons to pray for Godly wisdom and it
depends on how long this has gone on.

We know the one who once served the Lord in this capacity has no peace. Usually after the thrill of
the affair wears off, even if they marry each other, the joy has gone and they are left with a broken
heart for their sin.

I do believe one can one day come back to the Pulpit once they have proven they are truly repentant.

It would be wise for persons attending the Church to be cautious about talking about the affair and
pray, seek God where to go from here. I know what Church splits do, and it is not pretty picture.
One great thing about HEAVEN... there are no denominations nor will there be sin.

God bless all who are going through Church issues like this and may you hear His voice... This is the
way ... walk ye in it.... Amen.