Physical Affection

[RushBreeze]

Good evening everyone!

I have a question to pose to the group, wondering if its just a me thing, or if its something other people have experienced too.

I am in general a very physically affectionate person. Hugs and kisses and cuddles abound in my family, and when I am around my girl friends we have no problem linking arms, hugging, or snuggling down to watch a movie. I even had a guy friend at one point where hugging and leaning on each other was very regular (i dont know how to word it, it wasn't sexual at all, it was more like brother and sister, we'd watch movies and be side by side). So I would readily say I am a very touchy person.

Problem is, if you want to call it that, is lately when I have physical contact with people of the opposite sex I have a rather visceral reaction. On more then one occasion I have involuntarily jerked away from a touch, whether it was just a tap on the shoulder, or someone grabbing my hand to help me up a steep slope when hiking. I have even found that shaking hands with guys at the church makes me really uncomfortable. I've only just started to notice it and its really been bugging me.

I spoke about it with a friend earlier today, and she was baffled too. It wasn't something she personally experienced as she has never been a particularly touchy person. We posited that maybe it was because I have become hyper aware that touch tends to have meaning and don't want to create meaning where it doesn't belong.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced something like this, and what you did you combat it, or if you ever found out why. Its something I have just recently become aware of and plan of praying and seeking God about, hopefully He can fill me in.

 

[Nate0220]

I think that I know what you are going through. I used to love to show affection. Now every time somebody touches me, I jerk away. I believe that the reason for my jerking away is because I felt like they were out to hurt me in some way. It took me a very long time to overcome that fear...Now I have no problem with showing affection for certain people. But if a complete stranger or a co worker that I hardly know wants to hug me, I won't let them. They have to earn my trust. I will be praying for you though and I would love it if you prayed for me and my fiancee and daughter.

love,

your brother in Christ,
Nate

there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain and no more fears, there will be a day when the burdens of this place will be no more and we'll see Jesus face to face.

 

[Aqua_Girl09]

I don't like touching and hugging others. with Girls its not so bad but with guys all i can think is I'm touching a body that isn't mine. and usually its not even that it might mean "something else" its just that i'm super aware that its someone else's body and i'm not comfortable being this close with them.

but i've always had this issue. since about middle school i guess. so i can't really tell you how to fix it, just that you're not alone.

 

[Lucy68]

I think you're right about the reason. Unless you were molested as a child?

Being too physical with the opposite sex can send unintended messages. Plus their significant other might not appreciate it .

 

[Ugly]

Being too physical can actually lead to a lot of problems. People who are naturally touchy feely have higher rates of misunderstandings about affections, higher rates of falling into having unplanned sex, and in marriage a touchy person is more apt to cheat, even if its unintended. So maybe its a good thing if you're learning to ease up on it. Not that being a bit touchy is all bad, there are some benefits to it as well, but perhaps its become too much. Maybe God is trying to get your attention. *shrug

 

[Ritter]

If you have a problem with being touchy, curl up with some philosophy. That's my cold shower, lol.