Please help a heart broken non Christian

[Rich1989]

I've recently come out of a relationship and am deeply heartbroken, and I am really seeking advice from the Christian community.
My girlfriend recently broke up with me as she has told me she needs to dedicate her life to god and I was a distraction but in calling me this she continues to socialise with non Christian friends and family.
I tried to provide her with everything she needed. I loved her with every inch of my heart and was always respectful and understanding of her religion, I even attended her fellowship to show support and meet everyone.
I was brought up in a catholic school and was always in awh of how people believed in God but due to my childhood I had to help support my family and had to dedicate myself to this and never had the opportunity to explore faith.
She has explained she can't give me answers. We had a very strong relationship and I support her through any problems that ever occurred. We laughed, loved and enjoyed each others company and shared the thought of her belief but within hours that changed.

I'm just seeking advice, please as I want her to be happy and if this is what she wants I'd never stop her at all but we didn't have any problem and was always on her side. I just would like answers as well please.

Hope you all are well and thank you for taking the time even just to listen!

 

[Ugly]

Most Christians teach not to date non-Christians. It's not something you can really understand why unless you believe how we do. If you do love her, let her go.
And, in case you're wondering, just 'converting' to the same belief system is not the same thing. It is more than a belief system. Being a Christian is a personal choice that you have to make separate from any other person. It has to be a decision you make between yourself and God and a willingness to put following Him and His will above your love for any other person or thing on the planet. So, it's not a simple matter of 'ok, now i believe what she believes, so we can be together now'.
You may not have been considering doing that, but just in case you were, know it won't be that easy or shallow of a process. And she likely would not accept that either.

I know it sucks. All break ups hurt, no matter the reason. Even when you know it's for the best it still hurts. The best healer is time, in things like this. Keeping your mind busy enough to not dwell on the hurt, but not so busy you don't have time to think. We all have different needs to help us through our rough times.

 

[bluebirdchaser]

Hey, you're welcome here, Rich. And I'm sorry you're going through this. I mean, I don't know her personally but I'm guessing she still loves you and that this decision was hard for her to make too. And yeah, it is a hard thing to explain. Sometimes as Christians we have this deep sense of what God calls us to do, and sometimes that involves moving away some things that made up your life previously. Just like how you may get an opportunity to get married and to get married you have to move and maybe leave an old job that you had really enjoyed doing. It isn't easy by any means, and some may look at it on one end and feel like it's a decision that maybe wasn't worth it, there certainly wasn't anything wrong with the job, but it's a choice they have to make. I'm just trying to conceptualize how she may be feeling for you, not trying to equate you with just some job. Like I said I'm sure she still cares about you deeply.

You're certainly welcome here if you ever want to do some exploring or if you just want to chat. There's lots of people who are nonchristians here and I'm sure we'd love to have you. My inbox is always open as well. Hang in there, Rich.

 

[Rich1989]

Thank you so much for you information, I'm still struggling with issue obviously but I am letting her go as I'd only want to see her happy.

My only heartache is that this girl came from a background in which she lived a very bad life and she changed that with my support and it always stood by her side and although she broke my heart once before I could see the amazing person she was and I still supported her, forgave her and loved her.

It feels everything I did to make her life better the support everything is just a fond memory nothing more where for me she was my everything as I invested my heart and time into helping her and it's just hurt how much I've tried to understand an still support her I feel I now Ment so little and my love to her did aswell

 

[bluebirdchaser]

I don't think it meant nothing. I don't think anything we've ever done in an effort to love someone else meant nothing. Because even if they don't appreciate it or go away it was food for their heart that helped sustain them. And you know, I'll bet you anything that she appreciates what you did for her, especially during that time. I'll bet she will always always remember it fondly even if her path is going another direction.

 

[gene77]

Hey Rich1989, maybe sharing my story with you, will help you go through this difficult time, and let you know that there are more heart-broken people in the world than you think, and that you are not alone. Most importantly, God never leaves you. He is always there. And, He will heal your heart and give you peace if you sincerely ask Him to. I have experienced that.

So, here's my story: A few years ago, I got into a relationship with a guy from my church. He was in the worship team and a strong Christian. As time went by, we knew we wanted to get married. I spoke to my parents about him. They invited him over, and he did express desire in marrying me. I was still in college back then, and my parents wanted us to wait. I wasn't ready to get married early, either. He was older, ready to settle down, and didn't quite want to wait. Things started going downhill from there. Which lead to a very heart-breaking break-up. I loved this man. For me, at that time, I really did feel that he was "the one". But, that wasn't true. And, after the break up, after much prayer, I felt immense peace. I couldn't quite believe how or why.

Today, he is married to the woman he dated before me. And, they have a really cute baby boy. It does sometimes feel awkward seeing that happy family together, but, I know now that I wasn't meant for him. I have no hard feelings, and I also know that God has already picked the right man for me, before I was even born.

So, just know that if you have the desire to settle down with a beautiful family, God has already got a wonderful woman for you, who will understand you and be there for you as much as you are there for her. I will pray that you find peace and strength to go through this trying time.

Remember that peace comes from Jesus, comfort from the Holy Spirit, and grace from the Father. So, if you include them into your life and give them time, you will see a change in your life, and you will know how blessed you really are.

Stay blessed!
Genevieve.