Every time I'm in a relationship the girl leaves me. I give them my all. I thought my last relationship would last forever, it ended last week after 6 months. I loved her with all my heart and did everything i could to make her happy. What she wanted i supported her. Now she'll most likely never talk to me again. I'm always thrown away like I was nothing at all. Our last conversation ended up with her getting mad at me and hanging up the phone. I apologized and admitted to what I did was wrong. I tried to make her open up to me, didnt work. She never contacted me again. It's only been a week and I haven't really spoken to anyone about it because its too personal and tbh I don't have anyone to talk to about. I talk to God and pray for her but I also need someone else to talk to. Someone special. Since I was a young boy I've dreamed of someone special that would want to be with me forever. I know I'm 18 and have many years to be with someone but I'm just so tired of being alone intimately. I'm tired of seeing other couples holding hands and hearing couples tell each other how much they love one another. I want to cry all the time because of it. I know God has a perfect plan for me and He wants to prepare me but I want to be with someone so bad. Not to put God aside but I want that magical feeling of being in love. I've been in that star twice and twice I've been crushed. My faith is stronger than ever now but my patience is taking a toll. My last two relationships have been long distance because I happened to move to a new state each time, unlucky me. It's too bad my last relationship didnt work because I was going to visit her for the summer and then winter and we had plans to move in together next summer. I guess that doesn't go along with God's plan. Now I'm single, eager to be with someone and treat her like a princess because ill love her and I know that God sees her in the same sense. I wonder if a girl would like to go out with me.... I also wonder if God would let me be with her. I don't if we're not equally yolked, I don't mind showing her our Father and enduring whatever pain it may cause to be with her. If I love like God loves me, I won't give up on her. I just need help in finding someone..and possibly keeping her. Does anyone know how that would work? I live in a very liberal and increasingly Godless city. I don't want to wait until I'm old to meet someone, I want to do it now and enjoy our youth together. Sorry I wrote so much, I didn't plan on it.
The LAST thing you need is to be in a relationship. You have set up marriage and dating as such an idol in your life, you are willing to compromise your walk and put your desires way ahead of God. You talk about your faith is stronger than ever, while placing yourself and your desires for marriage above Him. You're so desperate to get married you'll rush into it the first chance you get, without ever thinking if its the RIGHT choice. Then you'll end up in a bad marriage, divorced, angry, bitter and blaming God because YOU made a stupid choice to ignore His standards and rush to do what YOU wanted to do.
Everything about your post screams 'i am not ready to be in a relationship' and 'my walk with God is not fulfilling me so i need something else in my life'. You're seeking marriage to make you happy, make you fulfilled, make you happy... all of your motives for marriage are completely and totally selfish. Marriage is the opposite, its about selfLESSness. And no, just because you treat these women like 'princesses' doesn't prove me wrong. It actually proves me right. You're not treating these women well out of love. You're treating them well out of an attempt to get the to stick with you so you can marry them.
And before telling me how wrong i am about marriage being an idol in your life, you're wanting look at dating a non-Christian and fooling yourself into thinking this could be God ordained. You're also talking about moving in together with your last girlfriend. While you didn't specify if you were having sex, people who move in together are typically already having sex. Which lends itself to the idea that you already were, or were willing, to have sex with her before marriage. Yet another example of the idol you make out of relationships and the compromise you're willing to make against God for your selfish desires.
You say you want this big great 'in love' feeling. Guess what... that doesn't last. Marriage isn't about the constant warm fuzzies of being in love. Its about sacrifice, its about putting up with the bad days, bad habits, bad anything. And yes, doing this with love, but not warm fuzzy love like you're searching for. Its a sense of knowing and feeling you have a deeper feeling for that person than anyone else. Its not the kind of feeling that you're talking about.
Its also not about feeling this person 'completes' you for 'fulfills' you. You should feel that way Before you marry. Marriage is not about finding someone to make you happy, complete, fulfilled, or anything like that. Its about two people who are happy with themselves and in themselves and God sharing a special relationship and helping each other, encouraging, and even at times tolerating each out, with genuine love that doesn't fade over time.
The reason your relationships aren't lasting is because there is no 'genuine' love. The relationships you're in are the 'warm fuzzy' relationships. And once those things pass, the relationship ends. You said yourself you're looking for that kind of love, and are therefore, likely finding others who have the same desires. But since those feelings don't last, neither do the relationships.
These warm fuzzy love feelings always go away around six months. Its not a coincidence all your relationships end after six months. There is a chemical in the brain that gets released when in a new relationship. This chemical is the 'love' you Think you feel. Its not real love. Its kind of like a six month endorphin rush whenever you're around, or think of that person. On average about six months later this chemical stops. If there aren't more serious and deep feelings for the person by then, or if you find the person annoying suddenly or any changes like that, it's this chemical. Unfortunately, this tends to lead to infatuation more than love. Then when it ends, people can't understand it and try to push a relationship forward that has nothing to go on because the infatuation is gone and there is nothing deeper.
This is what you are looking for. This infatuation. You're not looking for love, you're looking to keep this rush going. So you will never be happy, because this rush doesn't last. These people will never make you fulfilled or complete. Neither will marriage. God did not create marriage to fulfill us. But rather as an intimate fellowship that goes deeper than you have with anyone else, except God.
You are a long long way off from needing to be in a relationship. You're needy and desperate and have the wrong ideas and intentions about marriage and relationships. And seem to be fooling yourself as to the kind of relationship we have with God. Is it any wonder God doesn't allow a relationship to happen for you?
