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I feel really selfish for writing this, but I really need some prayers.
I have been incredibly lost for some time now. I have no idea what to think of myself. I've read Scripture, but everything I read someone else tells me is completely wrong. I have been told God would never care for someone like me. That because I have questions, He no longer cares for me. I've been told that in God's eyes, it honestly doesn't matter if I live or die because He doesn't care at all.
I didn't believe it for a while, but for some time I have not been so sure. I live in fear, I question my faith, I am weak and sin, but I try to do good. I sacrifice myself more times than I can count just so others don't have to suffer. But what if I'm only doing it for some lower alternative motive? I think it's for the good of others, but what if that's a lie I'm training myself to see?
What if I mess up and accept the wrong part of God as my Savior and I condemn myself? What if I pray to the wrong part of God and am technically worshiping another being? I never know if I should pray to the Father or to Christ. The Bible says to go through Christ, but it also says to put nobody before the Father.
I know we're supposed to repent for our sins, but I'm worried that I may forget to repent for one. Or that I will be doing something and death will consume me before I have a chance to repent for that one sin. I don't know how many organisms I've killed just by walking around outside or breathing, but I don't know what to do about repenting.
I want to ask other to pray for me, but that means I'm being selfish and being prideful for thinking only of myself. How do I repent for that? I don't know how to repent for things that happen 24/7. I will never be a virgin ever again due to a rape that occured as a child. But how do I repent for every second I live as a non-virgin?
Sorry for the long post, I'm just incredibly lost and I need some suggestions on what to do.
I have been incredibly lost for some time now. I have no idea what to think of myself. I've read Scripture, but everything I read someone else tells me is completely wrong. I have been told God would never care for someone like me. That because I have questions, He no longer cares for me. I've been told that in God's eyes, it honestly doesn't matter if I live or die because He doesn't care at all.
I didn't believe it for a while, but for some time I have not been so sure. I live in fear, I question my faith, I am weak and sin, but I try to do good. I sacrifice myself more times than I can count just so others don't have to suffer. But what if I'm only doing it for some lower alternative motive? I think it's for the good of others, but what if that's a lie I'm training myself to see?
What if I mess up and accept the wrong part of God as my Savior and I condemn myself? What if I pray to the wrong part of God and am technically worshiping another being? I never know if I should pray to the Father or to Christ. The Bible says to go through Christ, but it also says to put nobody before the Father.
I know we're supposed to repent for our sins, but I'm worried that I may forget to repent for one. Or that I will be doing something and death will consume me before I have a chance to repent for that one sin. I don't know how many organisms I've killed just by walking around outside or breathing, but I don't know what to do about repenting.
I want to ask other to pray for me, but that means I'm being selfish and being prideful for thinking only of myself. How do I repent for that? I don't know how to repent for things that happen 24/7. I will never be a virgin ever again due to a rape that occured as a child. But how do I repent for every second I live as a non-virgin?
Sorry for the long post, I'm just incredibly lost and I need some suggestions on what to do.