Positive thread about relationships

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Fubario

Guest
#1
#1
I feel like many couples are going through struggles in this forum and I just wanted to make a thread about success stories and encouragements you would like to give to any readers. I also wanted to ask people for advice on how to successfully court someone, in the future I will ask about romantic engagement ideas.

So go!
 
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psychomom

Guest
#2
#2
well, i cal my hubby 'probie' because we've only been married 34 years,
and he's still on probation. ;)

any 'success' we have as married people can be directly attributed to the Lord Jesus.

i will say, by way of encouragement, that hard times will come.
(there, don't we all feel encouraged? lol)
our experience is that if we hang in there, be as honest with each other as we will,
actively love each other, and trust in God, difficulties pass.

we have been the recipients of the amazing grace of God!
we need to give that grace to one another.
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#3
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#3
I was married for 34 years when my husband died. It was a marriage as God describes it to be. We married as virgins, and when we married we became one. That means we didn't think of ourselves as individuals any more, we became a team. It wasn't easy! I had some college, he hadn't graduated from grade school. He was smart, I was sort of dumb. He was old country German where women only served men and didn't even drive the car, I was independent. In an argument, we used a sheet of paper with a line in the middle and reasons for on one side, against on the other. The reasons always had to do with how it worked for us as a team, I don't remember a pure you/me problem to work out. It was a state of being made complete in each other.

Then I married again after he died, it was a DISASTER!! He was incapable of even considering us as "we".
 
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Esanta

Banned
#4
Jun 18, 2014
755
3
0
#4
Fubario said:
I feel like many couples are going through struggles in this forum and I just wanted to make a thread about success stories and encouragements you would like to give to any readers. I also wanted to ask people for advice on how to successfully court someone, in the future I will ask about romantic engagement ideas.

So go!
Click to expand...
I'm in a relationship currently that's my first relaxed, mutually respectful, insanely chemical relationship and it's so different to what I've been through before. She's very attracted to me, as am I to her, we share loads of interests and I feel quite comfortable and connected. It's not pressurizing, it's not wrought with expectations and it's allowed to just be what it is.

And you know what, Fubario? I'll tell you the truth of my experience; there is no particular behavioural formula for successfully courting 'someone', because first of all, when all's said and done, it's not supposed to be about getting the right equation to court 'someone'. It's about finding one person who isn't just 'someone', or 'anyone', and secondly it's about being confident enough in yourself to know what you want in life, to know who you are and to accept who you are without feeling the need to augment yourself with a system or a code of attraction or whatever.

It's not about pressure or 'getting in there' or 'living up to expectations' or 'trying to win her over'. There comes a time when you realize there's nothing really to 'win'. There's no reason to think that you are so inferior to a woman that you have to try to unlock the mystery of human attraction and formulaically exploit that knowledge in order to gain her favour. You can't make someone like you, and if you always come to the round table of equality feeling disproportionate to the woman sat opposite you then why would she consider you her equal?

Perhaps it's cliché, but the best advice I can give you is know yourself and accept yourself.
 
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NewWine

Guest
#5
#5
I was taught that love is NOT some feeling. God IS love, and God never changes, So Love cannot be a feeling, since feelings change. We have to choose God, so we have to choose to love and to be Love to others.
My husband and I have been married 23 years this November. We met married and had our first child in less than a year, and while life hasn't been all bliss with no strife, what we've learned is that nothing can stop us as long as we work together as one ~ as God intended a married couple to be. I have to choose daily to love him as he has to choose daily also. From that single choice, every other choice we make is formed. It's worked for us?
One other thing about any relationship I was taught: Any relationship should be like an equilateral triangle with God at the top. The closer each person gets to God, the closer they get to each other naturally.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#6
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,947
113
#6
We have been married almost 34 years. We have had good times and bad times.

But the thing that always keeps us together is Jesus Christ. We are both stubborn people, but God has taught us to give and take, and to forgive each other and ourselves.

Looking back on the hard times, raising 4 children on very little money, things that would have split up a couple without Christ, made us stronger.

In the end, I have to say we really are soul mates, and God brought us together, and kept us together! I am so glad we stayed together, we understand each other, but are always learning new ways to care and love one another. In a marriage, that is all good. This is a foundational passage for any marriage.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. [SUP]35 [/SUP]By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13: 34-35
 
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psychomom

Guest
#7
#7
Angela, we raised 6 kiddos on very little money, and i can't agree more.

where many couples would split because of the stress of it,
in Jesus you can become a stronger couple!

:)
 
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