pray request and any help

[Elpitha]

Iam writing this post hoping that I might get some advice and prayer.

Iam in my late 20s and I have been in a constant struggle to help myself in gaining my health back. I have been unwell since 2005 and have struggled to find a doctor to help me with my chronic fatigue issues, insomnia, weight gain, cloudy thinking, mood swings. My symptoms point to my hormones & thyroid but so far they only come up on saliva tests and not blood, which doctors in my area wont look at saliva testing. I did find a doctor who prescribed the deficient hormones and they have not altered or changed how I feel which i believe has something to do with the fact that its gone on for way too long. I also have a tumor growing in my pituitary gland which is the part of the brain that tells the thyroid and controls all hormones, again I feel that this has occurred because of not getting the medical support early on, and was told by one doctor that this was the case. However I have been told by a specialist that it is nothing to worry about and Im perfectly healthy.

During this time has been extremely difficult not having anybody in my family support or help get to the bottom of this, i feel if they had helped support or look into things my life could have possibly turned out different. i haven't always been a devoted christian and going through this during the last 8 years i always had faith and even thought God wanted me to suffer and there was a reason for this, now i look back and think how silly i was. Before I feel ill i had such a strong passion for God i loved leaning about him and reading the bible. I feel incredibly alone like God isnt there for me, i dont know what to do.

Lately I have been extremely angry and I dont know who I am anymore. the people that are in my life dont know what im going through and no one has ever asked me if Iam alright. it makes me angry when i get lectured about how and what i should be doing when they have no idea whats going on, its like they dont think i want all the normal things in life. Being told there is nothing wrong with me and its all in my head i just want to go ballistic. I have for the most part just kept it all to myself. I feel as though I have become a very bitter person at times, I feel l have the right to be but nobody really seems to care or is concerned that im nearly 30 and am so isolated feel as though i have the mind of a 16year old. being unwell has held me back in life and I feel i have missed out on the most important years of my life in terms of growth and adulthood and also what was suppose to be the best years of my life. Iam definitely not my age.

i have completely isolated myself i feel that I lack social skills and dont want anyone to know me, there really is nothing to me. I feel like I would love to disappear off the face of the planet but Im way to scared to think of suicide I could never go there, sometimes I feel so trapped and I dont think i will ever get better or have a chance at being normal or doing anything in the world. Even if I do get better Im not sure I would be able to get on with my life, I have never really been normal, I dont want to tell my life story but I have grown up in a very dysfunctional home and have a very narcissistic dad.

Im so worried that I may never gain my health again, and I cant possibly go on living like this, I'm worried Im going to lose my mind. I dont know what to do. I dont want to stay at home, I dont want anyone to see me the way I am. I have thought about becoming a nun, not forever but just to see how I go. I hate being in this position I cant live at home when everybody's lives are so normal I cant be in the company of people. Im running out of options on what to do, I have thought about visiting the healing rooms(which is a place for pray) but Im really nervous.

I feel weird asking people to pray for me. I hope I havent said anything wrong in my post and Im sorry if i have offended anyone. If anyone could give me any advice suggestions anything I would really appreciated it.

 

[Snackersmom]

Hey, Eliptha, I'll definitely pray for you.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through . Trails are never fun, but they do makes us stronger. The best advice I can give you is to cling to Jesus and ask Him to fill you with The Holy Spirit, whom He called "The Comforter". Keep praising Him, even if you don't feel like it.

I know you said that you don't want to be around people, but getting out in the sunshine and spending time outdoors in God's presence might help some. I think of nature as God's art gallery

I know this won't be easy, but it would also be a good idea to ask Jesus to make you content with your situation, even if it never improves (not saying that it won't). I have done that before, and it did help. "Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for thee".

My heart goes out to you. ♥ Love, -Nichole

 

[Jesusfreakforever51]

Wow, I am so sorry to hear about your situation! I will definitely be praying for you! But I have to agree with Snackersmom. Sometimes the best thing you can do is get around people and outdoors. It not only makes you feel alive, but people can help support you. Maybe not your family sadly, but theres always friends an us on christianchat . I will keep you in my prayers, and remember though its hard give thanks in all situations. Corrie Ten Boom once gave thanks for the fleas in her prison cell, because it doesnt say "in the best times give thanks" but in all situations.

God Bless you! Love, Des

 

[pickles]

Elpitha, I, so sorry you have so many struggles right now.
One thing you need to do is forgive, know that thisis for your sake, so the bitterness does ot take over your life.
I understand the frustrations you are going through, it took 18 years for me to find the dr who finaaly could properly diagnose my daughter, and like you she was judged by many.
She now has good drs who care and are treating her, and we are hopeful.
I too went several years undiagnosed, but I fought for the right dr, and it has trully helped.
Keep looking till you get a dr who is willing to listen and help you, for you deserve a good dr.
You are in my prayers for the healing, streangth, comfort, love and peace in Jesus you seek and need.

Huge hugs and God bless
pickles

 

[psychomom]

Elpitha, my dear child, I am sorry for your sufferings, both in mind and body.
First, if it's okay, I'd like to address the mind issues, which often are exacerbated by physical problems.
You clearly wish to isolate yourself, and I understand this well. Merely being overweight (especially at your age!) in our culture is enough to make one want to be invisible. I sense there is more to this, though, perhaps going back to your childhood? Please, beloved of your Father, fight this desire! We are made to be social beings, and without the society of one another, our perspectives become skewed. A church, perhaps? A body of true like-minded believers is part one of my prescription for you, my dear. It may be hard to get there, due to the fatigue, but please, do try. That will serve a double purpose in that you will be fed on the Word of God. ♥

As to the physical issues, I pray the Lord will send you to a doctor who can properly diagnose them. Fibromyalgia (often difficult to differentiate from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), for example, is still seen by far too many docs as something in one's mind, sadly. It cannot be quantified by lab tests, and that makes the medical mind want to reject it. I'd be concerned about the pituitary tumor, except that any doc worth his salt will not dismiss it if it is a danger to you. Thyroid problems are also a common trial for the sufferer, at least here in the states, as normally only a T3-T4 test is done, and that is sometimes not enough to get to the heart of a less problematic thyroid condition. You might ask which thyroid test was done, and what the results were, as in, were your results on the low end of normal. There may be ease for your mind if you find this is not the case.

I perfectly understand that you want to get to the bottom of this, and to feel better! I feel, though, that you must be prepared to accept that there may not be a "cure", and that the Lord holds all things concerning you, and truly does have a plan and purpose for all He allows...and that is is GOOD. His love for you, and even His very nature, demand that. Get good meals, including feeding your spirit on the Word of God. I cannot stress enough how important this is, little one. I went far too long in recent years without doing that, and grew weaker in faith and trust each day, just as your body grows weak when you don't give it the nutrition it needs. Read, meditate, pray, repeat, is the best prescription we'll ever get.
Part of walking with our good and great God requires that we submit to His will in all things. If this is where He has you (for now, at least) it is just the right place. You can have joy in this, Elpitha! It's part of your Birthright.

I know it's difficult to do these things when you are simply ennervated. I was a little older than you are now when I was first diagnosed, but I had the loving support of my family. Not my extended family then so much, but my husband and children. I am also blessed to have a doctor who is not only a brother in the Lord, but a friend, and he came to our house to talk to our family about my health. He wanted to set my kiddos's minds at rest and let them know my illness isn't fatal, and encouraged them in that. I pray you will find people who will be compassionate, and ebcourage you to speak even if you are not asked about it. Many people, if we look well, don't realize there's something happening, and you must help them understand.
I found that when I exercised (but not to be overdone) I felt better. CFS sufferers do not find that to be so, so I advise caution, in case that's part of what you have going on. Take gentle walks, or bike rides. I agree with my sweet sister Nichole in that there's something about being in the out of doors...it's downright theraputic! The majesty of this creation, even in its fallen state, is balm to the soul. We have a lovely brother here on the site, Jeffrey (OFM), who asked a question about how many of us enjoy prayer walks, and the response was amazing! I hope you'll give it a try. ♥

I didn't want to lenghten an already long post with my prayer for you, but please believe and know I have prayed for you, dear child!!
Your Abba loves you more than you can ever imagine. He gave you faith to believe unto salvation! How much more will He care for you while you are here. His love doesn't always seem "good" to us by worldly standards, but it's actually better. The example Des gave, about Corrie Ten Boom, is a great one. Those fleas kept the guards out, and their intention was rape. The Lord used those pests to protect His own; though a flea infestation must have been quite a trial, it was a gift.
I hope I don't give the impression I do not wish for you to be well, dearest! That is in my prayer for you, for sure. But I also pray that you will be encouraged where you are that God really does have a reason for all things, and you are never out of His loving thoughts.
Nor will you be long out of mine: you are in my little prayer notebook, and I will remember you.
I hope you will keep in touch? We care for you as part of our own body, because you are that!

much love,
ellie

 

[oldmanbill]

Dear child of God, I am praying for you right now. Please read Romans 8:28-39 and know that God loves you.

Dear Father God, I lift this suffering child of yours to your throne of grace. Please guide her and heal her, physically and spiritually. Dear God, I pray that you will manifest your love to her in a unmistakable way today. In the precious name of Jesus.

 

[shekaniah]

You have been given loving direction from fellow believers...

I will pray too!
Love in Jesus, Shekaniah