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I have been taking care of a dementia patient for the last 6 months. I work in a hospital where we usually only see patients for a few days, but this patient has proved hard to place in a nursing home because of his relatively young age (50's), his strength and the amount of care he needs (he is non-verbal and incontinent). We have tried several times to place him but usually the homes end up sending him back to us because he is too aggressive. During his time at the hospital I have been his primary care giver. At first I did the basic things for him but did not take any extra time with him because i guess I felt he sort of deserved his problems since he was a heavy drinker and has a lengthy criminal history of disorderly conduct and assaultive behavior (from bar fights). At first it was difficult to do anything for this patient even feeding him because of his aggression. I soon found if I held his hand and stroked it, he would let me feed him instead of swatting my hand away. After a while we built a rapport and I was able to do everything for this pt without much trouble at all. God spoke to me and I realized--who am I to judge this man when Jesus asked forgiveness even for the soldiers that beat him. I realized there was no patient that didn't deserve my best. Sometime in the last few months I fell in love with this patient and think of him as one of my children (even though he is older than I am). Today I had to say goodbye to him as I am starting school full time and have to quit work for a year. I know there are others that will take care of my patient but none of them take time to sing to him or hold his hand or give him hugs. This is probably one of the hardest things I have had to do. To let go of someone I feel still needs me. But I have to realize that he does not belong to me. He belongs to his family. I pray everyday that the Holy Spirit will speak to him in a way that he will understand. I want him to feel peace and to know God. I have found out from his Mom that he went to church with her when he was first diagnosed. What I really want for him is that someone will step in and love him as much as I do and he will have someone to be there when he is agitated or anxious because these are the real reasons behind his aggression.
