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Hello
I am a Christian divorcee of nearly 7 years. My wife had an affair with another man - when I found out I immediately forgave her. As part of an accountability process, the ex-wife of the man my wife had the affair with began to communicate. First we were supporters, then we became friends, then we fell in love with each other, and planned a life together - all of this happened over a period of 5 years. Certain you can imagine that this is a unique situation and there are challenges in dealing with the ex-spouses, but we've have learned to work together in most respects.
However, we have both struggled together for the last year with different things and now that she feels its too late for any hope or repair and has ended our relationship. My children had even grown to love her and were also heartbroken when they found out. But I believe that God can change hearts. So for the next 30 days, we have agreed to keep a journal, read through Proverbs, and meet again to see where things stand - this is our recommended to us yesterday when we met for pastoral counseling together. He, too, believes it possible with God's intervening. After nearly 4 years of knowing and loving her, I have realized that I failed her because I didn't do what she needed. I failed her because I am stubborn. I failed her because I'm not perfect. And you can't begin to know how heartbroken I am knowing what I have caused. All of this is out on the table now, she has forgiven, the pastor has counseled, but she is still saying her heart is no longer in it.
So at this point, I am holding onto Jeremiah 32:27 during this time: "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?". I am believing each day that God can fix and repair our brokenness. And for the next 30 days, I will be fasting from sundown to sunup, spending my time in prayer and reading a chapter of Proverbs each night, seeking what God would have for our lives. I believe that God can repair what is broken and can make us a stronger couple than we ever were before.
During this time of separation, we agreed to focus on our commitment without any outside influences - I indicated that I would remain faithful to her during the next 30 days, not entertaining any thoughts, communications, suggestions, or desires from another woman. I am hoping and praying that she agrees to do the same in response to another man and that we both can remain pure in our thoughts and actions. During the 30 days, she and I agreed not to have any communication or visiting with each other. And as you can imagine, not being able to communicate with her in anyway myself directly for the next 30 days will be painful - I am leaning on God and the prayer warriors at our church to help and lift us up together in prayers. Yes, God is good, God can change hearts, God can change minds, and God can change our own personal outlook on the situation if are hearts are open - I pray that God will open her heart.
My question is (based on the article below), is there anything more I need to do? We were not married but had every intention of being married at some point.
What if You’re the Only One Holding On? | Redeeming Marriages
I am a Christian divorcee of nearly 7 years. My wife had an affair with another man - when I found out I immediately forgave her. As part of an accountability process, the ex-wife of the man my wife had the affair with began to communicate. First we were supporters, then we became friends, then we fell in love with each other, and planned a life together - all of this happened over a period of 5 years. Certain you can imagine that this is a unique situation and there are challenges in dealing with the ex-spouses, but we've have learned to work together in most respects.
However, we have both struggled together for the last year with different things and now that she feels its too late for any hope or repair and has ended our relationship. My children had even grown to love her and were also heartbroken when they found out. But I believe that God can change hearts. So for the next 30 days, we have agreed to keep a journal, read through Proverbs, and meet again to see where things stand - this is our recommended to us yesterday when we met for pastoral counseling together. He, too, believes it possible with God's intervening. After nearly 4 years of knowing and loving her, I have realized that I failed her because I didn't do what she needed. I failed her because I am stubborn. I failed her because I'm not perfect. And you can't begin to know how heartbroken I am knowing what I have caused. All of this is out on the table now, she has forgiven, the pastor has counseled, but she is still saying her heart is no longer in it.
So at this point, I am holding onto Jeremiah 32:27 during this time: "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?". I am believing each day that God can fix and repair our brokenness. And for the next 30 days, I will be fasting from sundown to sunup, spending my time in prayer and reading a chapter of Proverbs each night, seeking what God would have for our lives. I believe that God can repair what is broken and can make us a stronger couple than we ever were before.
During this time of separation, we agreed to focus on our commitment without any outside influences - I indicated that I would remain faithful to her during the next 30 days, not entertaining any thoughts, communications, suggestions, or desires from another woman. I am hoping and praying that she agrees to do the same in response to another man and that we both can remain pure in our thoughts and actions. During the 30 days, she and I agreed not to have any communication or visiting with each other. And as you can imagine, not being able to communicate with her in anyway myself directly for the next 30 days will be painful - I am leaning on God and the prayer warriors at our church to help and lift us up together in prayers. Yes, God is good, God can change hearts, God can change minds, and God can change our own personal outlook on the situation if are hearts are open - I pray that God will open her heart.
My question is (based on the article below), is there anything more I need to do? We were not married but had every intention of being married at some point.
What if You’re the Only One Holding On? | Redeeming Marriages
