PROCRASTINATION: I Hate Studying--How Do I Improve My Endurance Level?

[Fire7]

I have had acedemic problems since I was in the fourth grade (I'm 28 now). It started with math--my arch enemy. From then on, my grade point average dwindled on a downward spiral, to the point that I was forced (literally by my guidance counselors) to drop out of highschool as a second year senior (/sophomore/junior/freshman), with a 0.something GPA. I had gotten so far behind, even though I took summerschool and was attending the comm college along with highschool, that I had to go to the college full time. It was a little less stressful then, with extra instructors/tutors to go around.

I was so ashamed at the basic things I didn't know that some questions I didn't ask because I was afraid of the students and instructors' reactions. So I did stay after class a few times for one on one time. Because of distractions and other factors like transportation, etc..., my focus would fluctuate. But even then, I felt smarter than I did in regular school. Throughout elementray, middle, and highschool, I used to secretly wish I could wear glasses (even though I had no sight problems) so that I could feel like one of the smart kids (I remember sneaking someone's glasses from home a couple of times). I know this is superfical now, but then, I thought all smart people wore glasses. However, that didn't help me. I always felt like THE dumbest person alive--not just at the school.

I eventually dropped out of school all together and in 2001, started taking GED classes. I would get on a role for fleeting moments at a time, but I just couldn't stay focussed long enough to accomplish much. I evenutally dropped out of GED classes and gone back bout 5 or 6 different times over the years. I still don't have my GED but I plan on trying at it again in May. Because of my current acedemic plan, I cannot afford to fail this time. If I do, it will set me back prettty far. I won't go into all of it here. But I am finally taking college prep classes now. Because I recieved financial aid before--the first time I took college classes which was last summer, and dropped both classes and had to pay the money back before I could attend that school again, I am on academic probation. Meaning that if I fail either of the classes I'm taking now (English and Algebra

), I may not be eligible to recieve financial aid ever again (they are much stricter now)...and I won't even go through how much this will ruin my short and longterm plans. I finally have a plan now, but if I mess up, I'm going to really mess up!

I can't explain to you how tormenting this is. I know that I struggle tremendously with low self esteem loneliness (/anxiety), which I come to find out is one of the reasons for my procrastination pattern. But it's not something I can get over overnight. I know I don't have time for therpy to deal with all of my issues. As much as I want to stop and take a breather to deal with deeply rooted mental obstacles, life itself doesn't stop, and time waits for no man. I'm trying to break that infamous pattern of starting and stopping. I'm just going to have to stick it out, but I'm sooo scared right now! I already have an F in my algebra class and there's only 3 weeks until final exams

. I've been meaning (as always) to do my homework, but I have yet to tun in or finish one homework assignment in the algebra class. Even though I've been on spring break for a week, I still have yet to finish (I started) one assignment, even though I swore to myself that I would make up all the work I missed over spring break. Now, school will be starting monday, and believe it or not--I'm not being funny, I am terrified that I will just fall into the same rhetorical pattern. I feel guilty and am hating myself for my lack of discipline. I know, "JUST DO IT!". It shoul be that easy. And I have told myself that hundreds (if not thousands) of times--"Just do it; NOW!!!), but I never end up doing it.

I'm venting right now, but I am so frustrated!

Would you have any advice for improving my level of diligence and commitment?

 

[Gabriel777]

First you need to go to your prayer closet on your face and cry out to God. He will give you such peace and joy that you will want to be productive. Either do that or set goals for yourself. I too struggle with procrastination sometimes but its because I either get lazy or I'm not taking my homework seriously. Always set goals. Listen to smooth music while you study or something. Make it more interesting. Pray hard.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

Not sure I have any specific advice, but I can tell you you are NOT alone.
I got diagnosed with ADHD (now "ADD") as a kid, and although I have outgrown much of it, I still have great problems focusing
..actually, most of my studying is in very short bursts. I can read about ten minutes before doing something else, then go back and read ten minutes ans so on (maybe that would work for you too?)

Set specif goals, and start small. For instance: Today I am going to do x math pieces on x subject.
also, when you DO manage to force yourself to do something, reward yourself. - Go do something completely different, that you enjoy

 

[dewba]

Why is it that you're in a hurry (you said you don't have time to deal with your personal issues)?
Have you talked to counselors?
Have you let everyone that can help you know about your issue?
Do you have a learning disability?
Do you NEED to go to school, RIGHT NOW?
You mentioned you know that you have issues that are hindering your studying...WHY are you not dealing with these issues if they are such a problem?

I may be wrong but it seems like you have a learning disability and some (if not all) learning disabilities are supported by grade schools and universities alike. You might have to speak to a counselor or a educational psychologist but if you can get yourself diagnosed, they WILL cut you some slack, share resources with you that will help you tremendously and maybe even provide financial aid for your situation. I, if I were in your situation, would surely look into it as much as I can, as deep as I can, and until I can find something that could help me so that I would take that huge weight, of blaming myself, off my shoulders.

You obviously need more help than you think you do and self-teaching seems to be out of the question until you can handle yourself in an efficient and confident manner (compared to procrastination and fear of failing and such).

If this is what you really want, then DON'T STOP until you get all the help you can research up.

Psychologist.
School counselors.
Financial aid counselors.
Tutors and study groups with people who understand your situation...(shoot, I would even craigslist an ad explaining your situation, asking for FREE or low fee tutors; or some unis/colleges have free tutoring centers).

You need to let everyone you know in on this problem you have, so that you can get all the assistance that you can. Once they know, they will have more compassion.

And if all else fails...DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY!!!!!! God is forging the path ahead of you. If you try EVERYTHNG and everything doesn't work, then it WASN'T MEANT TO BE and move on.

It seems to me like you're being VERY hard on yourself. You need to chill out and calm down. Relax, dude. Take it one step at a time. STAY IN THE MOMENT. When you're peeing, focus on peeing. When you're eating breakfast, focus on how grateful you are to have the opportunity to be eating. You will get the hang of being in the moment.

 

[Thomas60]

I've noticed a strange thing about myself over the last few months, I can't get into the habit of reading without being in a cafe.

 

[dewba]

I've noticed a strange thing about myself over the last few months, I can't get into the habit of reading without being in a cafe.

A constant studying environment sounds like a great idea! God bless.

 

[AnandaHya]

Hey Fire7 pray to God for a cure, Jesus can fix everything. remember HE LOVES YOU, so can you do any less then love YOURSELF?

If you need a tutor or someone just to ask question, you can always message me or pm chat me. I'm a high school science teacher and can answer most questions or be able to get you the resources to help. I know of a lot of fun online things that teach you what you need know to pass most subjects and get a GED.

the motivation doesn't come from within you, It comes from God because he is merciful and gives us His grace. Pray to God for help and ask and you will receive. May the peace of the Lord be with you.

Dear God Let Your Mercy rain down upon us. IN Jesus name we pray, AMen

YouTube - East to West by Casting Crowns

I procrstinate when it comes to cleaning my house, we all have our flaws but I did manage to get the living room and half the dishes and laundry done. lol.