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We were friends, he went back to school to further his studies and I was still trying to get my degree (Originally wanted to study as a respiratory therapist but now computer science major). We bumped into each other in our music class, which i had to take it, while he just wanted to.
No lie, I was charmed by how he had everything together. He was healthy, rich, and very passionate in studies. I in the other hand am very sick (ends up in the hospital for a week almost every year), poor because of school and medical bills, but I love learning, also i had a job to teach little children.
He is intelligent, a brilliant man, and I wish everyone could see how brilliant his minds works. His subjects ranging from Arts to Mathematics to Physics. I was intrigued by him, love listening to him talk. Eventually we got to the point where we would study at a coffee shop, me doing my prereqs courses while he types up his long research paper; and then at his house (I know big mistake-yes we did things).
Then my illness strike again, and I was hospitalized for 2 weeks, and he would come and visit to cheer me up. I lost my hair and he was sweet enough to buy me a wig and a hat. He would cook and mobile me around whenever I needed to. I guessed I fell in love with him... too fast... I didn't know where he stood on the subject of God. (my fight with my illness and my faith with god lessen, as higher dose of medication poison other parts of my body)
He did not believe in God. I was angry at myself for not even questioning his belief. I am not a strong christian... I don't talk about it to my following classmates. I don't go to church very often.
I was reluctantly to let him go and wanted him to go to church. He was unhappy. I force myself to not contact with him, but it killed me. (Couldn't last for more than a day). It was my fault for getting myself into this mess. Perhaps I didn't pray to God that often, but I want to see him. I wanted him next to me, christian or not. (I did leave out some of the little details how he made me feel beautiful and confident; thinking it would be too long)
I am not sure what do to with him...
1.) I want to keep him in my life... but I don't even know if he feels the same way
2.) Should I let him go?
3.) Please comfort me... I am at a lost. My other close friends... have already graduated are in different countries. And the friends I have made... are christian, but they do not know my relationship with this man is like... nor are we to the level of closeness to share these things. I feel so alone
i'm... just lost... seeking prayers from strangers, so I could shield a bit of shame from myself.
No lie, I was charmed by how he had everything together. He was healthy, rich, and very passionate in studies. I in the other hand am very sick (ends up in the hospital for a week almost every year), poor because of school and medical bills, but I love learning, also i had a job to teach little children.
He is intelligent, a brilliant man, and I wish everyone could see how brilliant his minds works. His subjects ranging from Arts to Mathematics to Physics. I was intrigued by him, love listening to him talk. Eventually we got to the point where we would study at a coffee shop, me doing my prereqs courses while he types up his long research paper; and then at his house (I know big mistake-yes we did things).
Then my illness strike again, and I was hospitalized for 2 weeks, and he would come and visit to cheer me up. I lost my hair and he was sweet enough to buy me a wig and a hat. He would cook and mobile me around whenever I needed to. I guessed I fell in love with him... too fast... I didn't know where he stood on the subject of God. (my fight with my illness and my faith with god lessen, as higher dose of medication poison other parts of my body)
He did not believe in God. I was angry at myself for not even questioning his belief. I am not a strong christian... I don't talk about it to my following classmates. I don't go to church very often.
I was reluctantly to let him go and wanted him to go to church. He was unhappy. I force myself to not contact with him, but it killed me. (Couldn't last for more than a day). It was my fault for getting myself into this mess. Perhaps I didn't pray to God that often, but I want to see him. I wanted him next to me, christian or not. (I did leave out some of the little details how he made me feel beautiful and confident; thinking it would be too long)
I am not sure what do to with him...
1.) I want to keep him in my life... but I don't even know if he feels the same way
2.) Should I let him go?
3.) Please comfort me... I am at a lost. My other close friends... have already graduated are in different countries. And the friends I have made... are christian, but they do not know my relationship with this man is like... nor are we to the level of closeness to share these things. I feel so alone
i'm... just lost... seeking prayers from strangers, so I could shield a bit of shame from myself.
