scared

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T

tella

Guest
#1
#1
I am a new member to this website yet have been chating a little. This is a total different matter only one that I discovered last night. I looked on my husbands phone and found that he had been texting back and forth with other ladies and one of them was an old girlfriend. He even gave his number and address to one of them. On his facebook he has several ladies on that as well.

He has cheated on me in the past and has lied fluently throughout our 18 yr marriage. I have given him so many chances and yet I stay with him hoping he will change, though this clearly shows he won't. I confronted him about it and he got very defensive and made up excuses.

I don't know what to do. Please someone give me some advice.

thank you
 
L

live4faith

Guest
#2
#2
I'm going to give it to you straight... he won't change unless he makes it right with God first. He has to WANT to change... his behavior says otherwise. You're going to do one of two things, regardless of what anyone says...
1) You'll stay with him out of hope/denial/etc.
2) You'll leave him so you can better your personal walk with God

I can tell you what I did when my husband did that. I gave him a chance to redeem himself but I started falling out of love with him and decided there was nothing left to salvage. Each situation is going to produce a different outcome.

I will pray you do what's right for you, and your situation. If ever you just need to vent or talk, feel free to message me anytime!

Blessings to you!!! <3
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#3
#3
I'm so sorry about this. I would tell you to talk to him and give him a second chance, but you have done that already. It seems that he will never change. I think you need to take this matter to the Lord and seek his counsel. I know the Lord doesn't want you to be hurting all the time and maybe it's best you let your husband go. Remember he's the one who gave up on the marriage by cheating, not you.
If you decide to give him a second chance, pray for him and with him. Let him know that you love him and want a marriage that will glorify the Lord. Study the Bible and talk to Christ. He will give you comfort.
God bless you and your marriage!
 
M

mybeeps

Guest
#4
#4
It's so very hard to walk away from someone we love. Maybe making a couple lists to help you figure out what you are willing to put up with, what you want, what you expect. Set a real time frame, and stick with it. If he's acted like this for so long, and you have put up with it. He might need to see that you are done. Leave him, or ask him to leave. Put your foot down for what is good for yourself.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope things get better for you.
 
C

ChristIsGod

Guest
#5
#5
Can't help but worry about communicable diseases in these cases.
Separate rooms and no intimacy would be wisdom until you decide what you want to do.
At least if you're there, he has to support you. Don't know if you can financially afford to live alone.
Do you have children? That changes things quite a bit as well.
You have a lot of thinking and praying to do in this.
The best that we can do is just pray with you that you'll know what to do and for his salvation.
Do you have any emotional support from your family or a church?
 
fdpa24

fdpa24

Junior Member
#6
Mar 5, 2009
20
3
0
#6
tella said:
I am a new member to this website yet have been chating a little. This is a total different matter only one that I discovered last night. I looked on my husbands phone and found that he had been texting back and forth with other ladies and one of them was an old girlfriend. He even gave his number and address to one of them. On his facebook he has several ladies on that as well.

He has cheated on me in the past and has lied fluently throughout our 18 yr marriage. I have given him so many chances and yet I stay with him hoping he will change, though this clearly shows he won't. I confronted him about it and he got very defensive and made up excuses.

I don't know what to do. Please someone give me some advice.

thank you
Click to expand...
I would encourage you to get some marriage counseling. Also if your husband is willing have him have a sit down with the pastor. Also pray pray and pray God is great at being God and everything in the end will be for His Glory and will work out for you in the end. I know you love your husband but I know Jesus loves him even more and He might very well need to shift the sands for your Husband to decide to come back to you or more importantly to Him. I have also learned that the Holy Spirit is better at getting through to people better then sometimes what I have or think in the flesh.

I will be praying for you
 
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