Separated for over a year and looking for prayer and mentorship. Feeling discouraged.

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renew15

Guest
#1
#1
Hello. I am reaching out to chat with other Christians for wisdom and prayer. I am re-married, with children, to the long lost love of my life. After the stress of blending families and in-law differences, my husband chose to leave the marriage with his child within the first year of marriage. Our ideas of being a family are different, as he comes from a very involved extended family, and I do not. He also does not agree that the wife comes first, especially in a blended family. And discusses all issues with his family, from his point of view, to the point they disowned me with confrontation.

We have been separated over a year now and nothing seems to be improving. Every few weeks, we talk as he "tests the waters" and sometimes it goes well, unless I have a difference of opinion, then he shuts down and disappears. I know we love each other and we miss one another. Yet, he demands that I act a certain way in line with his family, and apologize to them, before he will consider reconciliation. I am hurt and discouraged and not sure where to go from here.

If anyone has been through a similiar experience or feels led to talk with me further, I welcome that. Thank you!
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#2
#2
You can only change yourself, not him. You've been separated for a long time, you're probably asking yourself "what's the point?" by now. I encourage you to recognize both of these, and spend a lot of time in prayer about the second thing. What is the point? Pray, when you're done, pray again, and after you've done that pray again. God will give answers, and will direct your steps. No worries.
 
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renew15

Guest
#3
#3
Thank you, zaoman32.
 
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bubblingjoy

Guest
#4
#4
Hi Renew, I am in a similar situation. Second marriage after 19 years of being single. We began having difficulties early in the marriage (third marriage for him) as he continued to have contact with his ex girlfriend. He left me in 2011 and was dating and had a new girlfriend.He even filed for divorce.We reconciled after 8 months but he refused to go to counseling. Well it didnt take long to get right back into the same patterns and he again left me 7 weeks ago. We have had no communication for 4 weeks.He is on match.com and is out dating. I have been praying for the Lord to give me love for him again as unlike you I have no love for him.Yet I know that God hates divorce.Also praying that God change me. Have been reading a book called Why should I be the first to change written by Nancy Missler. I has helped me.I will not file for divorce at this time.When he left he told me he would move forward with the divorce.I just keep praying and praying and praying that God change me, help me forgive him, heal both our hearts and reconcile the marriage.I was very much in love with him at one time. God keeps bring scripture in Philippians 4 to my attention. whether i am having quiet time with Him listening to christian radio or at church. He keeps telling me to rejoice in the Lord always. dont be anxious Also to trust in Him with all my heart and pray. One other thing is to think on things that are true. God loves us and only wants the best for us. I will be praying for you stay in the Word, keep your eyes on the Lord and have faith that His will, will be done. All we have to do is chose to be obedient and God will do the rest.
 
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