Should I get rid of my bestfriend?

[Alicia00]

I use to have a really good relationship with God and a really good aspect on life and my future with him. But, suddenly my life and actions completely change. I am not the same person I was freshman year. I use to be loud, make jokes, not afraid, comfortable in my own skin. Now, I am so shy I blush and sweat even talking to somebody and want to leave and get out of eery uncomfortable situation. They say stress may cause spiritual doubt but I don't know anymore I want to be able to act like I did freshman year I want that fun loving personality I had. I had so many friends but I have turned into a raging jerk. I have no idea whats going on with me anymore. To be honest I don't feel like I'm myself, I don't feel like I'm in my own skin anymore. I try and try but I never put forth the effort. I may be scared. I just want what I had. I have one friend and one friend only. She's not a Christian or anything. She talks me into letting her listen to todays music when shes around me and I admit I do sing to them even if I can't stand them. I tell her to turn them off and that it really bothers me but I always apologize because I feel like I'm being to mean. She cusses a lot infront of me and I have found myself wanting to say those words I feel like it's satans way of trying to pull me away from God. I just want my life back so bad and I want to feel like myself. It's making me so frustrated. I shield myself from everything and everybody. I don't know what I should do. She's my only friend.

 

[Mo0448]

Hello Alicia welcome to CC. I would like to let you know that you are not alone when it comes to struggles we all have them. While she is a good friend to you and you mentioned your only friend my first advice to you would be to make more friends so that you don't feel you have to subject yourself to things you may not feel you want to do or need to do just for the sake of keeping that friend. This can lead you to a very tough spot in your life where you may peer pressured to do many more risky things in order to keep that friendship. Are there many individuals of your age at your church? I would suggest turning to some of those for spiritual support. You mentioned you turned into a raging jerk, not many people like those kinds of jerks especially the raging kind . I would suggest you perhaps apologize to those friends and maybe see if you guys can work things out. Try bringing this close friend of yours to church and see how it will influence her life. Who knows perhaps this is an opportunity for you to do good for a non Christian and win them over to Christ!

 

[Alicia00]

I have brought her to church, all she does is look at the cute guys and talk to me during worship.

 

[BishopSEH]

I guess i would have to ask, do you genuinely care about your friend? If you do, you don't need to preach to her, but you do need to be yourself. The greatest witness you have to the world is your visible walk of faith. You are a walking, talking, breathing testament to the glory and greatness of Christ.

Look, you still new to this. It takes time to get comfortable not only with your faith but in using it in a world that acts counter to it. However, being a follower of Christ doesn't mean you have to change everything. I tend to be quiet most of the time but I always have been. I can be loud and out going but for me its a stretch. You on the other hand have been blessed with an outgoing personality and God can and will use you that way if you let Him.

Also, there is nothing wrong with knowing and listening to non-christian music. I still listen to country western and some pop music. Not as much as i did before I was saved but the people I want to bring into the kingdom do listen to it and few things bring people together like music. If I can't bring myself to listen to music just for the pure joy of it then I handicap my ability to witness. In Short if i can;t stand to be there because someone is expressing their God given talent for music in a manner that is not edifying but not offensive then how am i going to live my faith in their presence?

With today's smart phones you can carry your person tastes in music with you. You know your friends right? Then take the time to really listen to the beat and flow of some of your favorite Christian artists and see if you can find some that you can share with them. In doing that you use a love of music to witness without judging them harshly for behaving as what they are, unsaved.

Don't give up on your friend instead, love them. What is love? Love is that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. You were a sinner before you were saved and your friends are still sinners. If Christ didn't give up on you while you were still lost in your sin, should you give up on your friend while she is still lost in hers?

Think about it and pray about it then act upon it.

In Christ,

Bishop SEH

 

[Alicia00]

thank you so much.

 

[BishopSEH]

Your welcome. Please keep us updated on your situation. We are all here if you need help or advice.

 

[Alicia00]

I definitely will, thanks again.

 

[OwenHeidenreich]

[h=3]Galatians 5:22[/h]But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,


[h=3]John 14:16-17[/h]And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.

THE HOLY SPIRIT LIVES IN YOU!!!
that means you HAVE whatever he has! that means you have all of the fruits of the spirit already.

don't say that you are seperate from the holy spirit, dont say i have doubts. because you dont

the father of doubts is satan, and whatever he whispers in your ear is a lie. therefore, equally the opposite of what satan says to you is true. so if he says "you dont have joy"

PRAISE GOD THAT YOU DO​ HAVE JOY!

 

[Grey]

Both during and after being Christian I see/saw nothing wrong with having friends with diverse opinions.

 

[DuchessAimee]

As for you being a raging jerk… that sounds like hormones. If you need a girl to talk to, PM me. I know how you feel.

Also, I wasn't always a Christian so I know both sides. If you need to vent or just want someone to chat with, feel free to contact me.

 

[Lucy68]

Being 16 is a very turbulent time....those hormones and growing up can really cause mental, emotional, and physical chaos. So don't be too hard on yourself or on your friend. Seeking Jesus Christ is the only way to 'live well'...so continue to grow in your walk with God. Hopefully, your friend will see what you are experiencing and will desire the same thing. But, she may not.

If being around her is just too much of a pull into worldly ways, you may want to limit your time with her. At least until you get your own thinking under God's control. It's wonderful for Christians to influence others, but sometimes we need to spend time learning to live God's way BEFORE attempting to influence others in a positive way.

Praying for you....wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit for you and your friend

 

[Nancyer]

Praying for you, Alicia my dear. Praying for you and your friend, although, I have to say, she doesn't sound like a "friend" to me. A friend wouldn't be disrespectful at your church by talking to you during worship. A friend wouldn't curse around you like it's no big deal, when you've let her know it makes you uncomfortable. You do need to let her know she needs to respect your decision. If she can't, then she can't, and so be it.

I think you need to cultivate some friends from church, if you can. Do you attend the Youth Group there? Can you? I would get very involved in church events, helping, organizing, etc., and making connections that way. With most churches it's the same small group of people who do most of the work and they will appreciate another pair of hands and you can get to know them and they can get to know you. Adults especially love it when the youth get involved on their own and at 16 years old you are not that far from job hunting and starting your future, so connections can't hurt.

I know I said a lot here, but think about it and continue to pray about it. God will answer you, but it may be subtle, so keep your eyes open.

Love and God bless you,

Nancyer