Should my mother divorce my father?

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shalomandme

Guest
#1
#1
My dad left the family about a year and a half ago to pursue a business venture. He initially said he would only spend a month and keeps saying he will be back - it has almost been two years! In the process of doing this he hasn't paid for rent or any of his financial duties. Leaving my mum took look after 4 kids on her own. My mum works 7 days a week too! She is also diabetic and has been in and out of hospital, her eyes are becoming really bad and with all of this my dad still didn't come back. My youngest brother also became ill he didn't come. My two other siblings are all working to help support ourselves through education but even that is a struggle. My mum has some business overseas and the profit she makes from that my dad spends it all without giving her a penny when it is her money. My mum has been talking about committing suicide lately and I am starting to panic because I can see she is in so much pain! I don't know what to do!

HELP! What can I do? I don't think my mum can continue marrying my dad and by the sounds of it my dad doesn't want to marry her (because she is disrespectful :-( hmm) Oh my oh my!
 
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dashadow

Guest
#2
#2
What would be the benefit of a divorce? It seems the exercise in the legal wrangling will only add stress to the matter. All of you should keep your sights on God and seek comfort with others of Faith. Waste no thought or energy on this man.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#3
#3
2 years ago... that means you would be 18 and your two older siblings would be adults as well.

If you really want to help your mom, learn to be independent and support yourself. She should only have to worry about raising 1 kid not 4 since 3 of you are adults when your father left. you say your other siblings are working to help which is good.

Should your mother divorce your dad? That is HER decision and you should support whatever she decides.

I can understand you are worried out of concern for her mental and physical health.

You should encourage her to take at least ONE day a week of and rest because that is what God wants us to do. Her body is NOT designed to work 7 days a week.

I would recommend she find a Christian counselor and financial advisor so that she can cut expenses and work less.

She may need to file for bankrupt and see if she can put some legal distance between herself and her husband's debts.

I will keep your family in my prayers and hope your little brother has recovered from his illness.
 
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shalomandme

Guest
#4
#4
Hi, only two of us are over 18, the other two are under 18 xx
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#5
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
8
38
34
#5
I agree that a divorce would add to her stress. I am curious thugh that she has overseas business, could she stop your father having access to it?
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#6
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#6
Seems like the priority is to help your mom be independent from your dad. He should not have access to her money since he's not being a responsible husband. There are lawyers that work free of charge. Maybe social services in your area could advise her on how to live without the financial burden he's placing on all of you. Has she talked about divorce herself?
 
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hattiebod

Guest
#7
#7
shalomandme said:
My dad left the family about a year and a half ago to pursue a business venture. He initially said he would only spend a month and keeps saying he will be back - it has almost been two years! In the process of doing this he hasn't paid for rent or any of his financial duties. Leaving my mum took look after 4 kids on her own. My mum works 7 days a week too! She is also diabetic and has been in and out of hospital, her eyes are becoming really bad and with all of this my dad still didn't come back. My youngest brother also became ill he didn't come. My two other siblings are all working to help support ourselves through education but even that is a struggle. My mum has some business overseas and the profit she makes from that my dad spends it all without giving her a penny when it is her money. My mum has been talking about committing suicide lately and I am starting to panic because I can see she is in so much pain! I don't know what to do!

HELP! What can I do? I don't think my mum can continue marrying my dad and by the sounds of it my dad doesn't want to marry her (because she is disrespectful :-( hmm) Oh my oh my!
Click to expand...
What a difficult situation for you to be in and to watch unfold in your family. Are your parents Christians? This is relevant to any change, prayer, expectations of responsibility in Gods will etc. Also, are you and your family Asian? I ask because I lived in Asia for many years and this type of 'split' family situation, for mainly financial reasons was very common. I appreciate, very distressing none the less. I would first of all really encourage you to get support, there are Help-lines for those living with family members who are talking of suicide. This is not your repsonsibility, although I know it seems as if it is. I am sure you are all pulling together to support your mum, take the pressure of her, but at the end of the day, only she can make the decisions that will change her life. Are you in a church? That would be another source of support for you all. I pray you know the Lord Jesus Christ and that you can stand in the freedom and peace that He can provide, even in our darkest times. God Bless you. <><
 
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Risen

Guest
#8
#8
I just want to share with you what I went through about three years ago. My husband left me and our six children when my oldest was 19, the rest were still at school, 18, 16, 12, 6 and 7 months old baby with two mortgages and I was unemployed. He met his high school sweet heart who also had a family of her own. However they both decided to leave their families and started a relationship. I was on maternity leave then, but I went back and ask if I could return to work asap and fortunately I was re-instated but have to go part time because I had to be a mother as well. I lost one of my mortgage and I am still keeping one. I put my baby at a day care so I can go back to work. I did the best that I could and I leave the rest to God. I learn to trust God with all my heart that He will be my father and the father of my children and provider.

Today, not only that God meet all my physical and financial need He also healed me emotionally. He has restored my heart. I still love my husband but I do not hold any bitterness towards him. I have learnt to forgive Him and to let go of Him. I live each day knowing that God knows my needs and my heart desires and He will grant it as according to His will. That He came to this earth to give me life and life abundantly. I have learnt to trust God for everything, I do not worry about what I need to eat tomorrow for God has taken care of it. I learnt to do my best today and praise God for all that is happening in my life. It only happens for my best. Most times I do not understand what is happening, all that I do is praise and thank Him for taking care of me and my kids. Now my two older boys that have finish school are helping out at home whenever they can but I do not rely on them. I rely on my God for all that I need.

We have been divorce yet but when the times come I am willing to go both ways. Since he left I have not heard from him, he simply vanished from the face of the earth. If my husband wants a divorce I will give it to him and if he wants to come home I will accept him as if he has never left.

I know that my well being does not depend on my husband my well being and my childrens' well being depends on God. His words says "do not be discourage, trust in Him who send me, trust also in me" He also said that He is with me yesterday, today and tomorrow. If God is for us than who can be against us.

May God bless you and your mum. May He guide you to put your trust in Him.
 
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Elder1

Banned
#9
Feb 19, 2013
87
3
0
#9
biblically, divorce is not an option for your mom! sorry, but jesus and the apostle paul are clear on that!
 
creationist74

creationist74

Banned
#10
Mar 26, 2013
52
0
0
#10
Hello shalomandme,

I hope the marriage can be fixed by God's grace. You can pray for your father that he realises his fault. Nothing is impossible for God.
 
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timber

Guest
#11
#11
@ Elder1,biblically divorce is not an option you say...Jesus and the apostel Paul are clear on that??? Please explane will you???
 
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springwater

Guest
#12
#12
HI Risen, I truly admire your faith in God. I am currently going through what you went through three years ago. Except my husband lied to me before he vanished and I do not know for sure if there is someone else, or will be later. But he has made promises and now vanished since he was gone. I am finding it tough to deal with the shock and grief. But reading your story I realise I am blessed to have God and therefore I must be at peace. I sincerely hope that I can feel as much at peace as you do three years from now on. May God continues to bless you and your children,. His plans and wills are greater than what we could ever imagine. Thank you for reminding me of the many blessings God has already given me in my life.
 
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