So torn

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blessedmommy34

Guest
#1
#1
I am going through a separation right now with my husband of 4 years. I was in an abusive and controlling marriage with a man who claimed to love the Lord while stepping all over me and his children. We have a son together and I raised his daughter (which I say is my daughter becuz I love her soo much) and I had a son of my own. A family of 5 living in complete chaos. I found out that he was addicted to cocaine and heroine..I had put $17,000 towards a custody battle for my step daughter who was being abused by her step father. I gave so much to my family and all he did was take, take and take. I couldnt go out, I couldnt see my family without permission, I had no life at all. I busted my butt working to support all of us while he used his money for drugs. I still tried to stay by his side and work it out, but the abuse got worse..nothing physical, but verbal, emotional and mental and all infront of my oldest son. I lived a nightmare for so many years and finally decided it was enough. I value marriage, but how can I continue in a marriage that was going to kill me or drive me crazy? He tells me that I have cursed us becuz I am violating Gods law on marriage and I know that's true, but I just couldn't anymore and i just pray for God's mercy so much. I chose this life...God could not have intended for me to live like this or my children, right?
 
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sting1

Guest
#2
#2
so sorry to hear this, i will pray for you and maybe pray for me as well. thanks jason
 
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blessedmommy34

Guest
#3
#3
of course I will, may I ask what for?
 
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Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
The bible admonishes men to love their wives as Christ loves the church. If he is not doing as such, it is in fact HE who has broken his vows. Now i don't believe God will curse either of you. There is no curse here, just a drug addict and abuser who is looking to shift blame, which is the exact thing addicts and abusers do.
Actually i am a believer in abuse in a marriage is grounds for divorce. I know many disagree, but i do not believe for one minute that God's desire is for a person to stay in that situation. I believe once abuse enters a marriage, the marriage covenant is broken, the vows are broken. He thinks you're bringing down curses from God, i think leaving is the right thing. The only 'curses' he's receiving are the ones he brings on himself by being an addict.
 
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oracle2world

Guest
#5
#5
As difficult as it is, you have to let go and begin anew.

I think you knew that already.
 
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blessedmommy34

Guest
#6
#6
Thank you all so much...Ugly your words were right on point. I held as much as I could, but when the verbal abuse was being done in front of my 5 year old who had to tell him to stop talking to his mommy that way...that became so real for me. I dont believe that God will curse me either and i have told him that his choices which he chose to make are what led us here but if blaming me makes him feel better than go ahead. Im considering a restraining order now becuz I get constant messages asking for another chance and when I dont respond, his messages become very ugly and abusive all over again. Its heartbreaking becuz I really love my husband...i just dont like him at all right now..does that make sense? I thank u all for your words of encouragement and for bringing me the Word...thats all I need right now to get me through this. Im being evicted from my home because I cant afford the rent anymore and now I am forced to move my boys into a small 1 bedroom...trying to stay positive though...like I said I have lost so much.
 
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