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Wondering
I feel myself buckling under a weight I cannot bear,
With a heart too cold to care,
And a mind that isn’t there.
Watching my life as from a distance.
Unable to use any resistance,
To the way I’m tossed about.
I learn to live without,
The warmth of a common soul.
Who’ll journey on this path I go,
And feed this dying light of hope,
I shield with my last resolve.
And wonder to myself out loud,
Why I don’t just run and hide ?
Cower in a corner of my fragile mind.
Why is it that I still fight ?
With no good reason in my sight.
Why do I get up and go on ?
Despite the times I’ve been knocked down.
Why do I let myself love again ?
When I’ve felt the pain of a lovers sting.
In this sadistic twist of fate,
When often what I love become what I hate.
And torn apart in this triune war,
Between my body, mind and soul.
Each with their own separate desires
And neither one is ever truly satisfied.
I learnt to take this all in my stride.
Because I have far to go tonight,
And can’t stop now to find out why.
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