Soul Mates versus Arranged Marriages

[Bangoo]

I am a 20 young english european native electrical engineer (studying at a Polytechnic University + in Electrical Power Systems) and I want to ask you for some godly advice concerning marriage, more exactly arranged marriages.
First of all, before I say something about this, I want to ask if God has picked a spouse for everyone. The idea for me is that there is no specific Bible verse or passage that speaks of God picking specific persons for us to marry. There are four examples, Adam, Isaac, Hosea and Joseph, concerning God arranging marriages but all of these were special circumstances and I don't see how can we build a doctrine on special interventios of God to stipulate that He arranges marriages. The Bible speaks of finding wife but it also says that a good spouse is a gift from God. Apostle Paul says if someone decides freely in his heart then to marry his duaghter and in the following verse he also says that if someone single decides the same then he also should get married. Moreover, God through the Holy Spirit advised us to choose not to marry, saying that he who marries does god but he who not does better because he is concerned with God's work and not with pleasing a spouse. He also wants to spare us from the hardship of marriage and life. He recommends us virginity and celibacy and seeking the Kingdom but also encourages us to marry due to immorality. I for one don't have this gift and I know for sure that I can't stand to be single in celibacy so I will get married. Moreover, Bible talks about Abraham taking a wife, Judah taking a wife etc. Proverbs 31 was written for helping young men find a good godly wife. I agree that God guides us through the Holy Spirit and gives us wisdom to seek and find a wife. The Bible says that we should inform God of our plans and intentions and He will bring things to pass. But it is one thing to say that God guides us and something else to say that He is picking spouses for everyone. It is certain for me that the story of soul mates is mythical and originates from movies, romantic novels and from Plato's philosophy. There are some logical problems I find with this issue. If God picks someone for everybody what happens if the person dies? Isn't the story of soul mates wrong? Because Bible encourages remarrying after the spouse's death. But what if one chooses the life of celibacy even if he is not gifted with this? What will happen than? What's the point of love then if God arranges everything? Who is to blame because so many young men and women are not yet married and is not sure that they will ever be? And moreover the Bible says that love is a choice and not a sentiment based on feelings. It involves feelings but basicaly is not this. It is strange because if we carefully put into action the biblical pattern for love and marriage roles described by Paul then we could get married with anyone and have the most happiest marriage from all times. And if we're honest, I think that in the end everybody chooses freely to marry with someone not because God said them to do so. There are examples of people that are saying that their marriaged was arranged by God and I don't know what to say than just affirm that there is no biblical support that God promised or sweared to us that He will arrange our marriages. Better is to say that God is guiding them through the Holy Spirit and helping in the process of finding someone to marry. In the end, if God arranges marriages shouldn't be them perfect? Why is that that these are not?
The idea of soul mates in the end it's destructive because it states that we're not complete until we find the love of our lifes and that makes us half humans/persons and this thing is rejected by Scripture given the fact that we are made wholly through Christ.
I am saying all these to you because as I've said I am on the point of having an arranged marriage and I am very concerned to do God's will in my life. It was not at all our parents idea of arranged marriage, but ours: we at some point in life (each one individually) told our parents to look for a spouse for us and from this particular point things evolved until her parents found me and my parents found her. It is not at all a forced marriage neither from me nor from her and it's very good to emphasize this well. What kind of advice would you gave to such a couple in such an interesting and uncommon situation?
With love,
Allen Stephen

 

[Tinuviel]

Here we are, God's sovereignty vs. Man's responsibility. No, God will likely not tell you in a supernatural way whom you are supposed to marry. But yes, if you are going to be married in your lifetime God knows who that person is going to be. He knows EVERYTHING, but he rarely steps in to do it himself.

As for advice on your arranged marriage, that advice is really no different than any other advice you give to any other people. Believe in God and His Son the Lord Jesus Christ, have faith in Him and trust in His promises.

 

[AmberJeanetteGardner]

The Bible says the married couple become one flesh (Mark 10:8). I would call that a soul mate.

I think women are the most vulnerable when it comes to arranged marriages, and it is vital they make informed choices. The road is narrow and there are a lot of men out there who aren't working for God. On top of that, their willingness is of upmost importance. Isaac married Rebekah because she was willing to go.

Genesis 24:58 So they called Rebekah and asked her, "Will you go with this man?" "I will go," she said.

Not judging, just pointing out some things. I hope it works out for you and is according to God's will.

 

[Tinuviel]

The Bible says the married couple become one flesh (Mark 10:8). I would call that a soul mate.

I think women are the most vulnerable when it comes to arranged marriages, and it is vital they make informed choices. The road is narrow and there are a lot of men out there who aren't working for God. On top of that, their willingness is of upmost importance. Isaac married Rebecca because she was willing to go.

Genesis 24:58 So they called Rebekah and asked her, "Will you go with this man?" "I will go," she said.

I hope it works out for you and is according to God's will.

Yeah, after you're married I don't think you have any choice but to have that person as your soul-mate

 

[tourist]

If she don't love you and you don't love her then I would call it off. God is not going to force you to marry, that is a choice that is made by those contemplating doing such a thing. If you pray to God to find you the right person then He may or may not do it but in the end it would be your choice to accept the person that God found for you or reject that choice. It's a matter of whether or not you truly want to start a relationship leading to marriage and that you trust God in the one that He has chosen for you. You are right about one thing in that it would not be a forced marriage but a choice made by you and her.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Sorry to the OP, but I didn't even attempt to read your post. It's very long and with few paragraphs, very hard for my eyes to read it.

 

[Throughthedome]

You are very concerned and worried about many things. The bible also says that at the resurrection they are neither married nor given in marriage because they become like angels and can never die. All you have to do is let God take over all of this. All of it. And He will do with your life what He wants, to give him all of the praise and glory. He knows all of your worries, all of your concerns, but if you put your trust in him, all of it, he will fulfill his purpose in your life. Either way, he is going to reign forever and ever. He is only waiting for you to realize this. He is the living Father, and he is waiting for your return. If you are covered in the blood of Jesus Christ from head to toe, you don't have problems. Yes you have persecutions, but if you have the salvation of the Lord Jesus Christ, walk in it, forever.

You cannot try to force your will in the earth. The will of the Lord will happen, whether you are for or against it. Therefore you should always strive to remain for it. The enemy is always looking to knock you off of the plans that God has for you. But he cannot. If God is for you, and you are his, through Jesus Christ who came down to earth as a ransom for you - if you look at Jesus as those who were dying, being bitten by poisonous snakes looked at the bronze serpent on the pole, and were instantly cured, then you are really God's and you are living forever and ever - and he will act, through you, to protect the ones he loves. No one snatches them out of the Father's hand. Trust in the Lord with everything you have, and he will deliver you from all your problems. It will be as if they never were, as they just drift away. And no matter how long it takes, always believe and our Father will deliver us from all afflictions. Do not stop believing. He has not forgot about you. He loves all of us.

Surrender all to Him. Give all to him, and he will take care of everything.

 

[Ariel82]

Isaac had an arranged marriage.