Life is also a gift, God can heal you, if you allow him to. sometimes it seems like he doesn't listen, or you don't deserve him or his unconditional love, but he does listen and none of us deserve him. You may not feel loved, but listen, though i don't know you, i love you, and so does god. no one can love more than god does, please, suicide is not the way to solve your problems, it won't help you at all. Murder is a sin, and suicide is murdering yourself, and i will miss you. in your state of sorrow and pain, you may not see or feel gods presence, but he is there, ALWAYS! ask for his loving arms to surround you, to comfort you in your pain, to help you through. You may not see him, but he will and does carry you through your trials. this is a trail, and with each trial is a choice, and no matter what anyone else says to you here, you still have that choice. Sweetheart, we all hurt in one way or another, we all grieve, we all need comfort, some more than others, but don't let pain and sorrow swallow you, pain is a tool of the devil and it is often used to drag you down to the point of no return. You can return, and i, for one, will help in whatever way i can to help you back up.
YOU DO NOT FAIL WHEN YOU FALL,
YOU FAIL WHEN YOU DO NOT GET BACK UP.
I love you! please, do not give up.