Tell him I'm interested? Hmmm...

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kittykatty

kittykatty

Junior Member
#1
Dec 22, 2009
18
0
1
#1
So I really like a guy from my church that I go to whilst I'm at university. I've thought about how I'd like him to be more than a friend for the past 5 months, but have known him and been mates with him for about a year now. I love how much of a Godly man he is, how he really wants to nurture the fruits of the spirit in his life and how fun and caring he is.

So this last Sunday there was a service about surrendering things to God, we all got given a piece of white fabric that represented a flag of surrender, and were told to write something on it that we just wanted to offer up to him. I'm sick of feeling like if I never get married or in a relationship that something in my life is going wrong, and handed over my love life to him.

But at the same time, I do still really like the qualities that this guy has and think being in a relationship with him at some point (even if it wasn't right now) would be really amazing. I've prayed about it and asked God to be at work in that situation if it's right and to change my desires of it's not meant to be, but I still want to tell him how I feel. I think that once I tell him it'll be... fully in God's hands? As I won't have any regrets of like "Oh... should I have done more?"

I'm going to see a movie with him this week with a few other friends, so advice needed, should I say something to him to just tell him I'm interested (but definitely not to ask him out) but also if he doesn't end up feeling the same do people have any ways to deal with maybe being turned down.

Cheers! Xxx
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#2
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
136
63
#2
I don't think I'm the one to give you advice, but I wanted to say that I like your attitude about the whole thing. :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#3
#3
kittykatty said:
So I really like a guy from my church that I go to whilst I'm at university. I've thought about how I'd like him to be more than a friend for the past 5 months, but have known him and been mates with him for about a year now. I love how much of a Godly man he is, how he really wants to nurture the fruits of the spirit in his life and how fun and caring he is.

So this last Sunday there was a service about surrendering things to God, we all got given a piece of white fabric that represented a flag of surrender, and were told to write something on it that we just wanted to offer up to him. I'm sick of feeling like if I never get married or in a relationship that something in my life is going wrong, and handed over my love life to him.

But at the same time, I do still really like the qualities that this guy has and think being in a relationship with him at some point (even if it wasn't right now) would be really amazing. I've prayed about it and asked God to be at work in that situation if it's right and to change my desires of it's not meant to be, but I still want to tell him how I feel. I think that once I tell him it'll be... fully in God's hands? As I won't have any regrets of like "Oh... should I have done more?"

I'm going to see a movie with him this week with a few other friends, so advice needed, should I say something to him to just tell him I'm interested (but definitely not to ask him out) but also if he doesn't end up feeling the same do people have any ways to deal with maybe being turned down.

Cheers! Xxx
Click to expand...
Why not try being very attentive to him first in a way that clearly lets him know how you feel and see how that goes? Or have you done that? How did he react?
 
kittykatty

kittykatty

Junior Member
#4
Dec 22, 2009
18
0
1
#4
Jullianna said:
Why not try being very attentive to him first in a way that clearly lets him know how you feel and see how that goes? Or have you done that? How did he react?
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Yeah, I feel like I have done that and that he was good back, like responded in the same way, genuinely interested, sitting next to me, telling me about more personal stuff than just general chat. But at the same time that isn't necessarily a sign he knows I like him. I've spoken to his brother (who's one of my best friends) and he said he's not the most aware when it comes to girls and he said he doesn't think it'd be a bad idea to ask.
 
A

Aqua_Girl09

Guest
#5
#5
wait. . . .you know his brother!? PROBLEM SOLVED! tell his brother to tell him you like him when you're not there! >_< they'll talk about it and you can get ALL the info later. >_< lol.
 
kittykatty

kittykatty

Junior Member
#6
Dec 22, 2009
18
0
1
#6
Aqua_Girl09 said:
wait. . . .you know his brother!? PROBLEM SOLVED! tell his brother to tell him you like him when you're not there! >_< they'll talk about it and you can get ALL the info later. >_< lol.
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Yeeaaaaaah, he doesn't really want to be involved. I can kind of understand why. He doesn't want to be caught in the middle of us if anything gets awkward. :) Ah well!
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#7
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#7
I don't think there is any risk in asking him if he feels the same way since you guys have already been friends for a year. I say just ask him.
 
Snackersmom

Snackersmom

Senior Member
#8
May 10, 2011
1,472
135
63
#8
Hey, Kittykatty! I love your attitude about the situation, how you're willing to surrender the relationship to The Lord. Awesome! :cool:

People are all different, but here's what I would do, in your situation:

Tell The Lord that you really like Dr. Charming, but you're afraid that you might be following your own will, instead of His. Soooo.........Tell Him that IF it's in His will for you two to be more than just friends, then please tell your guyfriend so (meaning, ask God to tell him, so he can make the first move).

If praying that prayer brings you peace, then just sit back and wait patiently. Keep being attentive to him, but I think telling him your feelings for him MIGHT be overdoing it a bit.....it's usually best to let the guy make the first step ;)

Anyway, that's how I would handle it :)
 
Snackersmom

Snackersmom

Senior Member
#9
May 10, 2011
1,472
135
63
#9
Oh, a quick P.S.

By "sit back and wait patiently", I didn't mean that God will surely want you two together, so just wait patiently for it to happen. I meant to stop worrying about it and see if anything happens. :)
 
F

flight316

Guest
#10
#10
You guys are friends, that's good because good friends are hard to come by. Gradually send him signals that you like him. If he doesn't respond he's probably not interested in that way. Don't risk the friendship by being too forward. If he doesn't show interest just continue to be good friends. Take it slow and go with the flow.
 
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