Temptation to have an affair. How to defeat this enemy.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N

nw2u

Guest
#41
You've got some really good counsel here. I wouldn't know what to add. I do believe in marriage, even though I am divorced. I just wanted to give something. I felt compelled to try and help. I don't know if it will help you. I do not believe it can hurt. I do not pretend to know the answers. I think you are doing well. This is a very difficult thing. I will keep you and your wife in my prayers tonight.

An Affair: 'The Beginning of the End' - Focus on the Family
 
N

nivek101

Guest
#42
Just completed a major stage of my healing process. I exposed the enemy by telling my wife about the situation. To God be the glory. It hurt me to tell her what was going on and I could see the hurt in her eyes. She forgave me and I know we will get pass this. I explained the best I could that it was my weakness and dis obedience that led to this near fatal desaster. Even though it never reached the point of a sexual encounter. It was an affair all the same. I know there is still a price to be paid on my part, but whom the Lord love he chasens. Please keep me and my wife in your prayers. Your brother in Christ......Niveksenoj
 
B

BishopSEH

Guest
#43
nivek I am not sure if anyone has said it to you yet but good job, i am proud of you. Sharing weakness, especially for men is hard and even harder to ask forgiveness. You have done both. Continue to shore up your weakness and remember you are accountable to God from which you can hide nothing. You are also accountable to your wife and as long as you talk to her about your struggles she can help you carry them just as you are doing for her.

Also you are right when you call what you did an affair. An affair starts in the heart do to an unmet need. Then moves to the head for justification then ultimately to the body which to the temple of the Lord now made far worse than a den of robbers.

Keep fighting, Victory is ours through the Lord Jesus.

In Christ,

Bishop SEH
 
N

nivek101

Guest
#44
Completed one of the final stages of seperating myself from the temptation. Found another job. I think it will be easyer for me to cut off all remaining forms of communication now. This has not been easy but I feel I have more control over the situation now. I didnt realize how much of a hold this had on me until now. there are still issues between my wife and I that have to be addressed, but I believe God will help us through those. I also feel it is important that I share this. One of the biggest tools the enemy used to get me to the point of adultry was free online porn sites. Painting a picture that the grass was greener and the other woman was the greener grass. This also had to stop. I still battle with the desire to go online and view that stuff but
 
N

nivek101

Guest
#45
God gave me a weapon to fight those desires too. His word and prayer. I pray now more than ever. I have to. The hold satan had on me was deeper than I thought. I guess this is the bright side of it all. I am now developing a closer walk with God. My first love from my early days as a Christian was Gods word. I lost my first love. Now I must develope an even closer walk with Him. Jeremiah 2:19 is showing me the erea of my way. Praise God I still have ears to hear.
 
A

AmberGardner

Guest
#46
Proverbs 5:3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil;4 but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.
7 Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say.
8 Keep to a path far from her, do not go near the door of her house,
9 lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel,
10 lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.
11 At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.
12 You will say, "How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction!
13 I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors.
14 And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God's people."
15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
20 Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?
21 For your ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all your paths.
22 The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast.
23 For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.

 
A

AmberGardner

Guest
#47
Proverbs 7:1My son, keep my wordsand store up my commands within you.
2Keep my commands and you will live;
guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
3Bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
and to insight, “You are my relative.”
5They will keep you from the adulterous woman,
from the wayward woman with her seductive words.

6At the window of my house
I looked down through the lattice.
7I saw among the simple,
I noticed among the young men,
a youth who had no sense.
8He was going down the street near her corner,
walking along in the direction of her house
9at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.
10Then out came a woman to meet him,
dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11(She is unruly and defiant,
her feet never stay at home;
12now in the street, now in the squares,
at every corner she lurks.)
13She took hold of him and kissed him
and with a brazen face she said:


14“Today I fulfilled my vows,
and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.
15So I came out to meet you;
I looked for you and have found you!
16I have covered my bed
with colored linens from Egypt.
17I have perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning;
let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
19My husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey.
20He took his purse filled with money
and will not be home till full moon.”


21With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer[SUP]a[/SUP] stepping into a noose[SUP]b[/SUP]
23till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life.

24Now then, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.
25Do not let your heart turn to her ways
or stray into her paths.
26Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng.
27Her house is a highway to the grave,
leading down to the chambers of death.




 

DiscipleDave

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2012
3,095
69
48
#48
In the beginning stages of affair. Wanting out but very weak.
Here is the Truth. NO adulterer will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, think on that.

James 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

I Cor 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Well now you heard the Truth, the chose is up to you what you do with it. Hopeful, you won't take the chance of screwing up you chance to go to Heaven, for a sexual relationship with another.
Did you make a vow to God that you would cherish and honor your spouse?

Know you not that what you reap you shall sow?

^i^
 
D

Dine_wit_Me

Guest
#49
I want to thank everyone for your words of wisdom, and counsel. Bishop I realy respect your wisdom and frankness. I need this. I have done nothing but made excuses for myself in this situation. I am also in ministry and should know better. I am putting myself on a consecration. God demands much more of me and I have realy disappointed myself in this. My change starts now. Please keep praying for me, but more importantly. I will pray myself.



Hello Nivek,


Among many counselors there is wisdom....Proverbs 15:22....and Cursed is the man who puts his trust in the arms of the flesh....Jeremiah 17:5

 
S

Share55

Guest
#50
Sing praises to the Lord and evil shall flee from you.
Remember the first days of your love, look at her/him as in the first days you met. Go back to your happy moments together and think of the happy moments you have with this new person.
Sometimes we look upon other green fields that seem so much greener than what we have but if it beckons to you without thought of what you leave behind, what then when it beckons to another and leaves you?
Sometimes we forget to keep the spark alive in our relationships and when we see another light we so easily are tempted to wander away much like in our relationship with God. We forget to keep our eye on Jesus and then we see all the other flashing lights of so many different colours that we lose sight out of our Saviour.
Take time to dwell on your life with your loved one and consider what may be if you lose it all.
Do you really need help? Maybe you just need to put that sparkle back in your eyes for your spouse.
 
S

Stanelake

Guest
#51
The desire for an affair has a source. Find it and close the gap. At times you are not meeting each other emotionally, sexually as a couple. That deficit needs to be accounted for.

A teacher of mine told me that "temptations come at the most inopportune time" He meant that when things are going well at home you would not pay attention to a passing beauty or even a flirty person. You would be satisfied. However, if you are unhappy thats when the temptation comes.

There is something you as a family need to address. Please do it.
 
N

nivek101

Guest
#52
It has been a long time sence I posted last. A lot has happend. I would love to be able to say that everything has gone well but it has not. The good news is I am back on track. The emotional ties were not as easy to brake as I hoped. I did leave the job but everything continued for a while. I do have good new to report. After a good flogging from heavin. I have embarked upon a new spiritual journey. I am in my thirteenth day of a forty day consecration. Keep me in your prayers.
 

vanillakay

Senior Member
Dec 7, 2012
211
10
18
#53
Why are you wanting to have an affair anyways? of course you should pray and i sincerely hope you do not do it. I'm just wondering...why is it you feel attracted to this other women (assuming there is one) do you nto find your wife attractive anymore? mybe your relationship has gotton boring? there has to be a reason.