A
Valencia, Venezuela. November 2004.
I was in the middle of a crowd that night. Many people were weeping the loss of one of our college partners. A day ago she died in a car accident that took her life. We were at the second semester of our career when that happened.
It was a long night, many of our college mates were depressed and sad. When I was ready to come back home (I lived as a tenant and I had to pay a room every month) my friend Juan looked at me.
-Jose, I would like you to go to my church tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a special day-
-Ok- was my curt answer. I was not expecting that and I was frankly afraid that some fanatics took over me. I was still afraid of the word church. I did not like it at all. But I finally accepted. Till this day I do not know why I did.
Next day, that Sunday morning was going to be a very odd and different day for me. My fried picked me up and we went to his church. I later found out that his father was the deacon and his mother was a youth leader.
All I knew was that I sat down in one of the benches (well not benches but those weird chairs that cinemas have..My friend's church was a cinema long ago) and I immediately liked it all. The music was great for me...and everything seemed new to me. But when the message came....I ended up weeping silently.
I remember many people hugged me. Though I did not surrendered my life to God because I was petrified of it, people in that church were nice to me.
Many days passed by since that Sunday and one December night, my friend's father, Nelson, after a long conversation..led me to the Lord and we prayed. Honestly...I did not feel anything at all...no angels, no trumpets.....only a solid and distant silence. That was it.
From that moment my journey to discover Christ began......
***
I started travelling across my homeland as an English-Spanish interpreter to missionaries from overseas and I could get to know my country better. Later, I decided to make a trip on my own to five states to visit some congregations and universities. I had great experiences in each of them.
I was the interpreter once of a pastor and a foster care agent from England. After three days of preaching one of then invited me to his country. One year later I was in Heathrow airport on my own, totally scared of everything and ready to live and learn some other lessons.
Came back to my country to keep traveling and also working as a teacher in a school.
I joined CC last year with excitement because of the poetry section after months of wandering. One year ago, I was writing poetry in what became in one of my most favorite Christian websites when one sad day the founder of that beautiful website passed away and his wife later decided, with pain and sorrow, to shut down the website after months of prayer. Though I felt sad and did not like it because I was starting to have friends there, I had to accept that hard decision. I spent five months writing poetry from here and there till I found this website. Though I like CC, that website will hold always the first place in my heart.
Pornography came to my life earlier than I thought. And I filled my mind and heart with those images and masturbation became an issue to me. My parents were absent when I wanted to deal with it so I found refuge in that hidden activity.
I rarely went out. Quarrels and fights were at the order of the day.
I was harassed by a man. My father was so angry that the man, who was my fathers best friend, ran away.
***
I came to Christ defeated, lonely, angry, depressed and with no identity many years later.
And now I have a new identity. A new purpose. And a reason to die.
This is my testimony.
I was in the middle of a crowd that night. Many people were weeping the loss of one of our college partners. A day ago she died in a car accident that took her life. We were at the second semester of our career when that happened.
It was a long night, many of our college mates were depressed and sad. When I was ready to come back home (I lived as a tenant and I had to pay a room every month) my friend Juan looked at me.
-Jose, I would like you to go to my church tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a special day-
-Ok- was my curt answer. I was not expecting that and I was frankly afraid that some fanatics took over me. I was still afraid of the word church. I did not like it at all. But I finally accepted. Till this day I do not know why I did.
Next day, that Sunday morning was going to be a very odd and different day for me. My fried picked me up and we went to his church. I later found out that his father was the deacon and his mother was a youth leader.
All I knew was that I sat down in one of the benches (well not benches but those weird chairs that cinemas have..My friend's church was a cinema long ago) and I immediately liked it all. The music was great for me...and everything seemed new to me. But when the message came....I ended up weeping silently.
I remember many people hugged me. Though I did not surrendered my life to God because I was petrified of it, people in that church were nice to me.
Many days passed by since that Sunday and one December night, my friend's father, Nelson, after a long conversation..led me to the Lord and we prayed. Honestly...I did not feel anything at all...no angels, no trumpets.....only a solid and distant silence. That was it.
From that moment my journey to discover Christ began......
***
I started travelling across my homeland as an English-Spanish interpreter to missionaries from overseas and I could get to know my country better. Later, I decided to make a trip on my own to five states to visit some congregations and universities. I had great experiences in each of them.
I was the interpreter once of a pastor and a foster care agent from England. After three days of preaching one of then invited me to his country. One year later I was in Heathrow airport on my own, totally scared of everything and ready to live and learn some other lessons.
Came back to my country to keep traveling and also working as a teacher in a school.
I joined CC last year with excitement because of the poetry section after months of wandering. One year ago, I was writing poetry in what became in one of my most favorite Christian websites when one sad day the founder of that beautiful website passed away and his wife later decided, with pain and sorrow, to shut down the website after months of prayer. Though I felt sad and did not like it because I was starting to have friends there, I had to accept that hard decision. I spent five months writing poetry from here and there till I found this website. Though I like CC, that website will hold always the first place in my heart.
***
Twenty years ago, I was an insecure boy, with wounds within. In my house, life was a living hell and I did not have many friends. High school was terrible for me and I soon became a loser to them. I received so many humiliating words and insults that I learned from that moment that I was a loser and that I would never achieve anything. I always said to myself..Look, you worth nothing...your mates are right...
Pornography came to my life earlier than I thought. And I filled my mind and heart with those images and masturbation became an issue to me. My parents were absent when I wanted to deal with it so I found refuge in that hidden activity.
I rarely went out. Quarrels and fights were at the order of the day.
I was harassed by a man. My father was so angry that the man, who was my fathers best friend, ran away.
***
I came to Christ defeated, lonely, angry, depressed and with no identity many years later.
And now I have a new identity. A new purpose. And a reason to die.
This is my testimony.
