C
I became a Christian in my later teens so I have the experience of growing up "in the world".
I wanted to share with you Christians some of the tricks of the enemy, and society, and also just let you know how good you really do have it when you live the Christian life.
Here is what society says about sex before marriage, and then the actual truth about it:
The lie society preaches: Sex before marriage makes you feel fulfilled
The truth: Casual sex does not make you feel fulfilled, it makes you feel empty inside. Society does what it can to hide the fact that casual sex is emotionally destructive.
Sex with your spouse, in a committed relationship that lasts a lifetime, (God's way) is fulfilling.
What most people are looking for through sex is not just a pleasurable feeling, they are often looking for LOVE and the feeling of being wanted by someone, the feeling of validation. They think having sex will give them that deep fulfillment from the opposite sex that they long for. It's a lie. What actually happens is that the relationship breaks down and you are left in the situation where you gave your love and body to someone who has now moved on from you and is having sex with someone else. this leaves you UNFULFILLED, the opposite of what society taught you it was going to do.
The lie society preaches: Sex is no big deal
The truth: Giving your body to someone impacts multiple areas of your life: emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Emotionally, having sex with someone you are not married too can cause massive emotional issues for you, including depression and lack of self worth. Sexual rejection can damage you emotionally.
Excuse alert: "But we love each other!"
Even if that is true, it doesn't change anything. The Bible says only sex within marriage is right. "loving" each other, even if you really do, is not a good reason to have sex. You might, in your fallible human emotions, actually believe that the relationship will never end, but of course it will.
Physical problems include unwanted pregnancy (which then leads to having to choose between killing your unborn child or having a baby at a young age), STDs (which can cause infertility). The spiritual issues involve disobeying God. When you choose to have sex before marriage, you are saying to God "No, I don't want to do things YOUR way, I've decided my ways are greater than yours and I'm going to live according to my own emotions and my own laws instead of yours."
You are also using your free will to trample on God's plan for you. He has a future spouse for you and He wants you to marry them when you are a virgin, and to only ever give yourself to them, and that you would have an unbreakable bond with your spouse.
The lie society preaches: If you don't have sex with him, he'll leave you!
The truth: This is a very nasty lie because it's the EXACT opposite that is true. If you have sex before marriage, he is more likely to leave you before it ever gets to the marriage stage.
Some girls think they have to have sex to prove their love. That's total nonsense. If a guy loves you, he will want to marry you. If he doesn't want to marry you, he will want to have sex with you to get what he can now, before moving on later and get married to someone else (I'm talking about the average, non God-fearing guy).
Protip: Guys will say or do anything to get to the stage of sex. This is a sad truth.. but I know personally that this is true. A guy will 'use' a women to achieve his goal of sex or validation from women (making himself look/feel good by having you pursue him or give yourself to him). He will say whatever it takes to get to the stage of sex. He will say he loves you. It's usually not true. After you've had sex for a while, he will coldly break it off and seek his next vessel of validation and sex, and you will be alone and without your virginity.
A guy might say he loves you and you will be together forever, and use those as reasons to have sex.. but ask yourself.. Has he stood before his family and friends and pledged to be with you for the rest of his life, for better or worse?
If he truly loves you, he will have NO PROBLEM waiting until marriage to have sex with you.
In fact, this should excite him, because it means he gets to marry you and have sex with you for the rest of his life. This is a very exciting prospect for a man that truly loves a woman.
If he claims to love God, why would he want to dishonor God by having sex with you before marriage? If a man truly loves God not only will he "understand" about waiting until marriage, but he should be the one who whole heatedly agrees with waiting.
Lie from society: You need to have a "test drive" to get experience before marriage.
What a disgusting lie. What they are basically saying is "When I get married, I hope other men have had sex with my wife so that she has some experience before doing it with me."
You don't need experience before you have sex with your spouse. If you are both virgins, it will be great and exciting and new and you will share that together. If you LOVE each other, it will be fun and exciting and special.. not awkward like the world tells you. You will be doing it with someone you know and love and who knows and loves you.
Lie from society: Sexual acts are okay, as long as it's not full intercourse
The truth: When you get married, do you want your spouse to have done these "Sexual acts" with other people? Do you think your spouse will want you to have a history of this sort of thing? It's still a sexual act, it's still disobeying God and it's still sinful, and there are still terrible consequences.
Lie from society: There are pretty much no bad consequences for sex before marriage
When you watch TV shows and Movies, they always show sex outside of marriage as having no consequences. This is a dirty lie.
Here are some of the massive penalties you might pay if you have sex outside of marriage:
> Unwanted pregnancy.
Millions have experienced this, even while using protection. Many have then gone on to kill their unborn child to try to escape their sin, which only makes it worse. If you are in this situation, God can take your mistake and turn it into a miracle, but if you have the choice, you wouldn't want to be in this situation in the first place.
> You could become infertile by getting an STD
This is a sickening price to pay for sex before marraige. When you have sex with someone, you are exposing yourself to any diseases their previous partners have had. Some diseases, such as Chlamydia can have horrific effects on your life...
The wall street journal reports:
Imagine you get married one day and are ready to have children (which might be a dream for you), only to find out that you or your spouse's previous sex before marriage resulted in you getting a disease which made you infertile.. Now your dream of having a family of your own is destroyed because you gave in to sins as a teenager or young adult. What a terrible price to pay. (If you find yourself in this situation pray about it.. God can make you fertile again.. I know personally that He does wondrous, mind blowing miracles for people who repent of their sins before Him and trust in Him for their future).
How disgusting is it that much TV and Movies make sex outside of marriage seem as if it has no bad consequences when in reality it does?
> You could be left emotionally devastated
While some may scoff at this one, others know it is a reality because they have experienced it. When you love someone and have sex with them, only to have them leave you, it feels like they took a part of you with them. They then go on to have relationships with others, possibly people you know, and it can be a lingering emotional issue for you. Again, if you find yourself in this situation, pray, because God is faithful and He says "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow" - Isaiah 1:18.
> You have less to give your spouse
When you do fall in love and decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and they decide the same for you, it is special if you both can say "You are the one I love, and the one I have waited for and the only one I will give myself too, ever."
One thing to remember is that if you have made a mistake and fallen into sin, that isn't the end. That's never the end with our God. He is the God is Creation and He can Create things new. He can take broken pieces and turn them into something greater than the original. Jesus Christ died to pay for that sin you did and every sin you will ever do. God is just THAT AWESOME.
He created you and He knew the sins you would commit before you committed them. The key is to see where your heart is. Is your heart in the camp of "Repentance" or is in the "Love of sin" camp? If you love your sin more then God, then the consequences are what they are... But if you repent and put your hope, faith, love and trust in God, He can take the mistakes YOU made and turn them into miracles that HE made.
God can take the most crushing mistake you ever made, and turn it around give you beauty for ashes.
If you have an unwanted pregnancy but choose to keep it, God will make that child a jewel to you that you will love and cherish forever, or if you give the child up for adoption, He will use that child to answer the prayers of a couple who cannot conceive, who have prayed that they would still have the chance to raise a child of their own.
In the end, it comes down to your faith in God and your commitment to obeying Him. Most people in the world and many in the church will choose to disobey God and have sex before marriage... "Many are on the broad road which leads to destruction" - Matthew 7:13... But what will you do?
I wanted to share with you Christians some of the tricks of the enemy, and society, and also just let you know how good you really do have it when you live the Christian life.
Here is what society says about sex before marriage, and then the actual truth about it:
The lie society preaches: Sex before marriage makes you feel fulfilled
The truth: Casual sex does not make you feel fulfilled, it makes you feel empty inside. Society does what it can to hide the fact that casual sex is emotionally destructive.
Sex with your spouse, in a committed relationship that lasts a lifetime, (God's way) is fulfilling.
What most people are looking for through sex is not just a pleasurable feeling, they are often looking for LOVE and the feeling of being wanted by someone, the feeling of validation. They think having sex will give them that deep fulfillment from the opposite sex that they long for. It's a lie. What actually happens is that the relationship breaks down and you are left in the situation where you gave your love and body to someone who has now moved on from you and is having sex with someone else. this leaves you UNFULFILLED, the opposite of what society taught you it was going to do.
The lie society preaches: Sex is no big deal
The truth: Giving your body to someone impacts multiple areas of your life: emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Emotionally, having sex with someone you are not married too can cause massive emotional issues for you, including depression and lack of self worth. Sexual rejection can damage you emotionally.
Excuse alert: "But we love each other!"
Even if that is true, it doesn't change anything. The Bible says only sex within marriage is right. "loving" each other, even if you really do, is not a good reason to have sex. You might, in your fallible human emotions, actually believe that the relationship will never end, but of course it will.
Physical problems include unwanted pregnancy (which then leads to having to choose between killing your unborn child or having a baby at a young age), STDs (which can cause infertility). The spiritual issues involve disobeying God. When you choose to have sex before marriage, you are saying to God "No, I don't want to do things YOUR way, I've decided my ways are greater than yours and I'm going to live according to my own emotions and my own laws instead of yours."
You are also using your free will to trample on God's plan for you. He has a future spouse for you and He wants you to marry them when you are a virgin, and to only ever give yourself to them, and that you would have an unbreakable bond with your spouse.
The lie society preaches: If you don't have sex with him, he'll leave you!
The truth: This is a very nasty lie because it's the EXACT opposite that is true. If you have sex before marriage, he is more likely to leave you before it ever gets to the marriage stage.
Some girls think they have to have sex to prove their love. That's total nonsense. If a guy loves you, he will want to marry you. If he doesn't want to marry you, he will want to have sex with you to get what he can now, before moving on later and get married to someone else (I'm talking about the average, non God-fearing guy).
Protip: Guys will say or do anything to get to the stage of sex. This is a sad truth.. but I know personally that this is true. A guy will 'use' a women to achieve his goal of sex or validation from women (making himself look/feel good by having you pursue him or give yourself to him). He will say whatever it takes to get to the stage of sex. He will say he loves you. It's usually not true. After you've had sex for a while, he will coldly break it off and seek his next vessel of validation and sex, and you will be alone and without your virginity.
A guy might say he loves you and you will be together forever, and use those as reasons to have sex.. but ask yourself.. Has he stood before his family and friends and pledged to be with you for the rest of his life, for better or worse?
If he truly loves you, he will have NO PROBLEM waiting until marriage to have sex with you.
In fact, this should excite him, because it means he gets to marry you and have sex with you for the rest of his life. This is a very exciting prospect for a man that truly loves a woman.
If he claims to love God, why would he want to dishonor God by having sex with you before marriage? If a man truly loves God not only will he "understand" about waiting until marriage, but he should be the one who whole heatedly agrees with waiting.
Lie from society: You need to have a "test drive" to get experience before marriage.
What a disgusting lie. What they are basically saying is "When I get married, I hope other men have had sex with my wife so that she has some experience before doing it with me."
You don't need experience before you have sex with your spouse. If you are both virgins, it will be great and exciting and new and you will share that together. If you LOVE each other, it will be fun and exciting and special.. not awkward like the world tells you. You will be doing it with someone you know and love and who knows and loves you.
Lie from society: Sexual acts are okay, as long as it's not full intercourse
The truth: When you get married, do you want your spouse to have done these "Sexual acts" with other people? Do you think your spouse will want you to have a history of this sort of thing? It's still a sexual act, it's still disobeying God and it's still sinful, and there are still terrible consequences.
Lie from society: There are pretty much no bad consequences for sex before marriage
When you watch TV shows and Movies, they always show sex outside of marriage as having no consequences. This is a dirty lie.
Here are some of the massive penalties you might pay if you have sex outside of marriage:
> Unwanted pregnancy.
Millions have experienced this, even while using protection. Many have then gone on to kill their unborn child to try to escape their sin, which only makes it worse. If you are in this situation, God can take your mistake and turn it into a miracle, but if you have the choice, you wouldn't want to be in this situation in the first place.
> You could become infertile by getting an STD
This is a sickening price to pay for sex before marraige. When you have sex with someone, you are exposing yourself to any diseases their previous partners have had. Some diseases, such as Chlamydia can have horrific effects on your life...
The wall street journal reports:
Imagine you get married one day and are ready to have children (which might be a dream for you), only to find out that you or your spouse's previous sex before marriage resulted in you getting a disease which made you infertile.. Now your dream of having a family of your own is destroyed because you gave in to sins as a teenager or young adult. What a terrible price to pay. (If you find yourself in this situation pray about it.. God can make you fertile again.. I know personally that He does wondrous, mind blowing miracles for people who repent of their sins before Him and trust in Him for their future).
How disgusting is it that much TV and Movies make sex outside of marriage seem as if it has no bad consequences when in reality it does?
> You could be left emotionally devastated
While some may scoff at this one, others know it is a reality because they have experienced it. When you love someone and have sex with them, only to have them leave you, it feels like they took a part of you with them. They then go on to have relationships with others, possibly people you know, and it can be a lingering emotional issue for you. Again, if you find yourself in this situation, pray, because God is faithful and He says "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow" - Isaiah 1:18.
> You have less to give your spouse
When you do fall in love and decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, and they decide the same for you, it is special if you both can say "You are the one I love, and the one I have waited for and the only one I will give myself too, ever."
One thing to remember is that if you have made a mistake and fallen into sin, that isn't the end. That's never the end with our God. He is the God is Creation and He can Create things new. He can take broken pieces and turn them into something greater than the original. Jesus Christ died to pay for that sin you did and every sin you will ever do. God is just THAT AWESOME.
He created you and He knew the sins you would commit before you committed them. The key is to see where your heart is. Is your heart in the camp of "Repentance" or is in the "Love of sin" camp? If you love your sin more then God, then the consequences are what they are... But if you repent and put your hope, faith, love and trust in God, He can take the mistakes YOU made and turn them into miracles that HE made.
God can take the most crushing mistake you ever made, and turn it around give you beauty for ashes.
If you have an unwanted pregnancy but choose to keep it, God will make that child a jewel to you that you will love and cherish forever, or if you give the child up for adoption, He will use that child to answer the prayers of a couple who cannot conceive, who have prayed that they would still have the chance to raise a child of their own.
In the end, it comes down to your faith in God and your commitment to obeying Him. Most people in the world and many in the church will choose to disobey God and have sex before marriage... "Many are on the broad road which leads to destruction" - Matthew 7:13... But what will you do?
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