Thinking

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grace45

Guest
#1
#1
Should I borrow money from a Friend who seems to be reluctant about it? I asked one of my friends to loan me a couple of hundred until a certain date, they hesitated for a while but then said they would. They mentioned things about loaning money that they had heard other people say, such as never loaning money to a Friend, family member etc. We continued to talk, so I asked about their own beliefs concerning loaning money, they told me that they feel friends and family should help one another and that they were only enlightening me to some of the myths concerning loaning money. I asked if the reason they brought that to my attention, was based on them being skeptical of loaning me the money or if they were honestly `just saying'. I was told that there was nothing meant by it and they had no problem with it, but now I'm thinking, why bring it up if you meant nothing by it? I really need the money to tide me over, but I don't know if I should borrow it now. I would like to think that since we have been friends so long, that they didn't mean anything by the statement. I'm not at all convinced though, that they didn't...Anyone else experienced something similar? I could use some advice.
 
brokenheart69

brokenheart69

Banned
#2
Mar 17, 2012
49
0
0
#2
Dont take it from them, they basacally said your not trustworthy, with out saying it to your face. If at all possible borrow from someone else. So mutch for getting helpped from friends.
 
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strawberryfizz

Guest
#3
#3
If I were you, my action would be based on this - When in doubt, don't. Believe it or not, so many friendships/relationships have been damaged by money issues particularly loans.
Just a few questions if you don't mind. Do you usually loan money from friends? If or whenever you do, do you pay back on time or as promised? Will that money be for a necessity or just something you'd like too have but can do without? And finally, what's causing the financial problem?
The answers don't need to be put out here. The reason I ask these questions is because, there might be a basis for their hesitation. Sometimes, and I'm saying this from actual experience as the one asked to be borrowed from, people hesitate to help financially when they see us spending unwisely or living beyond our means or when we don't keep our promise. However, if this is the first time and it is an urgent necessity and you know you can and will pay her back, perhaps all you need to do is explain and give her your word. Better yet, ask someone else who's more willing.
On the other hand, Proverbs 22:7 tells us that ”...the borrower is a servant to the lender.” May God's wisdom be upon you and may you trust Him fully to provide all that you need according to His riches and glory through Christ Jesus our Lord.
God bless you.
 
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Risen

Guest
#4
#4
It would help if you seek God's guidance in prayers and studying God's word before asking. I do believe that there will be times when we needed help and that's when we call upon our friends and family in Christ. Hope that it will not create feeling of uneasiness between your friendships and your daily walk with God. We also need to respect their decision and continue to embrace them as they are. Pray that God will help you one day become the lender and not the borrower so that you will not have to face this circumstance again. Then you will truly experience the thrill what's its like to be a lender and not a borrower.
 
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grace45

Guest
#5
#5
I don't mind answering a few of the questions. I have never borrowed any money from them before, I have loaned them money a few times and it took them over a year to pay me back. I am a full time student studying to become an R.N. I wouldn't have asked if they had not said several times before that if I ever needed help with anything financially, to please let them know, since I have never failed to be there for them as a Friend when they were in need. We are close friends and have been for several years. I never live above my means and with kids I can not afford to spend unwisely lol. They are well aware of the reason I needed to borrow. Although, I am disappointed with their hesitation, I appreciate the fact that they considered it. I didn't really feel comfortable after the yes. Just as an fyi, this person often belittles my feelings and has the capacity to make me feel that I am beneath them. ( but i know i am not) maybe the friendship is based more on my being a Friend than their befriending me. Just re-evaluating the whole relationship as we have discussed the things that upset each other, but I am the only one that puts forth any effort to change the things that bother them. Needless to say I won't borrow it from them,, I lied and said I was ok now and no longer needed it.
 
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strawberryfizz

Guest
#6
#6
grace45 said:
I don't mind answering a few of the questions. I have never borrowed any money from them before, I have loaned them money a few times and it took them over a year to pay me back. I am a full time student studying to become an R.N. I wouldn't have asked if they had not said several times before that if I ever needed help with anything financially, to please let them know, since I have never failed to be there for them as a Friend when they were in need. We are close friends and have been for several years. I never live above my means and with kids I can not afford to spend unwisely lol. They are well aware of the reason I needed to borrow. Although, I am disappointed with their hesitation, I appreciate the fact that they considered it. I didn't really feel comfortable after the yes. Just as an fyi, this person often belittles my feelings and has the capacity to make me feel that I am beneath them. ( but i know i am not) maybe the friendship is based more on my being a Friend than their befriending me. Just re-evaluating the whole relationship as we have discussed the things that upset each other, but I am the only one that puts forth any effort to change the things that bother them. Needless to say I won't borrow it from them,, I lied and said I was ok now and no longer needed it.
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Oh. So I guess that situation just showed you the truth. As the old saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Nevertheless, I pray for God's provision to be upon you and your family and may you be surrounded with people who truly care and are willing to open their hearts and hands to extend help.
God bless you.
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#7
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#7
If you have loaned them money in the past then I think it would be fair for you to accept a loan; even if they hesitate. Especially since they verbally offered financial help :) .

They are obviously hesitant but since they asked you for money in the past, then you should feel free to do the same.
 
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