this morning
- Thread starter Fenner
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Maybe they can help with housecleaning and chores while being grounded?
One thing I tried with my kids to get them to do what they should do without a bunch of nagging was to give them a weekly allowance and then for every 'infraction' they had to pay me back a certain amount. Having to hand over the money seemed to have more impact than foregoing an allowance altogether.
Hang in there....parenthood is NEVER easy.
One thing I tried with my kids to get them to do what they should do without a bunch of nagging was to give them a weekly allowance and then for every 'infraction' they had to pay me back a certain amount. Having to hand over the money seemed to have more impact than foregoing an allowance altogether.
Hang in there....parenthood is NEVER easy.
A
if grounding them is torture for you. make them run laps instead.
I normally give my kids a choice of their punishment.
For example my son gets to choose if he loses electronic usage for a week (or more depending on the infraction: no tv, computers, tablet, Wii, etc) or cancelling a fun outing we had plan
or a bunch of other punishments I have but I only give him two options to choose from
the two that I think I can enforce the best.
I also tell him if he refuses to choose then he gets the priviledge of doing both or not doing both as the case may be.
sometimes I modify their punishment because I tell them its not working for me and if they object, i say I can always add to it.
other punishments:
no desert/ candy
no playdates with their friends
no movies/ eating out
timeout
removal of toys (this is done when they fight over toys)
running laps
writing sentences or letters of apology
cleaning up the mess they made (which is just expected not really a punishment)
anyway God bless and hope tomorrow goes better for you.
I normally give my kids a choice of their punishment.
For example my son gets to choose if he loses electronic usage for a week (or more depending on the infraction: no tv, computers, tablet, Wii, etc) or cancelling a fun outing we had plan
or a bunch of other punishments I have but I only give him two options to choose from
the two that I think I can enforce the best.
I also tell him if he refuses to choose then he gets the priviledge of doing both or not doing both as the case may be.
sometimes I modify their punishment because I tell them its not working for me and if they object, i say I can always add to it.
other punishments:
no desert/ candy
no playdates with their friends
no movies/ eating out
timeout
removal of toys (this is done when they fight over toys)
running laps
writing sentences or letters of apology
cleaning up the mess they made (which is just expected not really a punishment)
anyway God bless and hope tomorrow goes better for you.
A
my mom always played the "if i was to die tomorrow, the only people you will have in the world is each other and you fight?" speech, except she would say it in Khmer.
I tend to tell them "you should love one another and if you can't get along and want to make me miserable with your bickering, I'll make sure you know how it feels to be miserable." if i'm a little short tempered.
if I have more patience I will talk them about how they should treat others as they want to be treated and ask them if I was to do what they did to their siblings would they like it? Encourage them to make good choices and have them hug and tell the other person they are sorry and that they love them. make sure they forgive each other and then have them play.
some day i can't handle it so I tell them if they can't play nice together find opposite places in the house to play. that i didn't want to deal with it today and if either of them came to complain then BOTH of them would be punished. they needed to work out their differences on their own because if mom had to step in they wouldn't like the consequences because BOTH of them would be grounded.
so my kids learn my moods. at first I thought it might be a bad thing but I learned my mom's and my brothers moods and it help me relate with others at work and in life. It helped me know how to deal with disagreements with others because i learned to do it with my brothers and to know that fights don't mean you don't love them.
I tend to tell them "you should love one another and if you can't get along and want to make me miserable with your bickering, I'll make sure you know how it feels to be miserable." if i'm a little short tempered.
if I have more patience I will talk them about how they should treat others as they want to be treated and ask them if I was to do what they did to their siblings would they like it? Encourage them to make good choices and have them hug and tell the other person they are sorry and that they love them. make sure they forgive each other and then have them play.
some day i can't handle it so I tell them if they can't play nice together find opposite places in the house to play. that i didn't want to deal with it today and if either of them came to complain then BOTH of them would be punished. they needed to work out their differences on their own because if mom had to step in they wouldn't like the consequences because BOTH of them would be grounded.
so my kids learn my moods. at first I thought it might be a bad thing but I learned my mom's and my brothers moods and it help me relate with others at work and in life. It helped me know how to deal with disagreements with others because i learned to do it with my brothers and to know that fights don't mean you don't love them.
if grounding them is torture for you. make them run laps instead.
I normally give my kids a choice of their punishment.
For example my son gets to choose if he loses electronic usage for a week (or more depending on the infraction: no tv, computers, tablet, Wii, etc) or cancelling a fun outing we had plan
or a bunch of other punishments I have but I only give him two options to choose from
the two that I think I can enforce the best.
I also tell him if he refuses to choose then he gets the priviledge of doing both or not doing both as the case may be.
sometimes I modify their punishment because I tell them its not working for me and if they object, i say I can always add to it.
other punishments:
no desert/ candy
no playdates with their friends
no movies/ eating out
timeout
removal of toys (this is done when they fight over toys)
running laps
writing sentences or letters of apology
cleaning up the mess they made (which is just expected not really a punishment)
anyway God bless and hope tomorrow goes better for you.
I normally give my kids a choice of their punishment.
For example my son gets to choose if he loses electronic usage for a week (or more depending on the infraction: no tv, computers, tablet, Wii, etc) or cancelling a fun outing we had plan
or a bunch of other punishments I have but I only give him two options to choose from
the two that I think I can enforce the best.
I also tell him if he refuses to choose then he gets the priviledge of doing both or not doing both as the case may be.
sometimes I modify their punishment because I tell them its not working for me and if they object, i say I can always add to it.
other punishments:
no desert/ candy
no playdates with their friends
no movies/ eating out
timeout
removal of toys (this is done when they fight over toys)
running laps
writing sentences or letters of apology
cleaning up the mess they made (which is just expected not really a punishment)
anyway God bless and hope tomorrow goes better for you.
You also might want to consider something more productive...
like building a room addition.
: )
P
Aww, fenner...I feel for you. ♥
And I think how much of parenting seems like a punishment for the parent.
We do it because we love them.
Love them enough to stand over them for an hour to teach them to do a job it would take us 15 minutes to do.
Love them enough to let them figure out for themselves their hand picked friend is a creep. (SO hard to do!)
Love them enough to hear "You don't love me!" and just take it.
Love them enough to make them brush their teeth.
Just think what God is doing in your heart and theirs this weekend. ♥
He doesn't waste a thing.
And I think how much of parenting seems like a punishment for the parent.
We do it because we love them.
Love them enough to stand over them for an hour to teach them to do a job it would take us 15 minutes to do.
Love them enough to let them figure out for themselves their hand picked friend is a creep. (SO hard to do!)
Love them enough to hear "You don't love me!" and just take it.
Love them enough to make them brush their teeth.
Just think what God is doing in your heart and theirs this weekend. ♥
He doesn't waste a thing.
P
My first double post...sorry, y'all.
So I thought I'd edit it to say our kids are all pretty close as adults.
They get along great and are softies toward one another...unless something else is actually called for.
If course, that's God, really. Alive in their hearts.
Hope that's some encouragement for you moms with little ones, still.
The fruit of what you're doing now WILL show up.
So I thought I'd edit it to say our kids are all pretty close as adults.
They get along great and are softies toward one another...unless something else is actually called for.
If course, that's God, really. Alive in their hearts.
Hope that's some encouragement for you moms with little ones, still.
The fruit of what you're doing now WILL show up.
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