TO ALL STRUGGLING WIVES/MARRIAGES

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M

minimart

Guest
#1
#1
I just responded to a post regarding a women with marital problems. As I read thru other posts I realized that there are too many to respond to however my thoughts are the same for all of them. I would guess that very few men would reply to these posts and the replies are often women to women. I am sorry to all of you out here suffering difficulties in your marriages. As I commented in the other post, marriage is not an easy situation, however if GOD is the focal point of your marriage it will be very different relationship. I will briefly mention that I had something in my life that drove a wedge between me and GOD. I can tell you that is was the reason I did not have a truely loving relationship with HIM. That is the same reason that I did not love my wife in the same way as I do now. I very recently was able to go before GOD and confess my sins and truelly mean it. Confession and repentance is the key to knowing and loving HIM. If you can love and know your GOD it will pour into every other part of your life. I have never loved my wife so much as I do now. I can share and confess to her like never before. It is an incredible freeing experience. To all the men/husbands out there, you need to get before your GOD and make things right with HIM. Stop justifing your actions to satisfy your personal needs. There is nothing more important than knowing, respecting, praising, thanking and loving your GOD. If you truely want to have a loving and satisfying relationship with your wife then start with your GOD. You made a commitment before GOD to your wife to honor her and now it's time to do just that. Honor your GOD and you will honor her. This world is too caught up in the works and ways of the devil. Temptation is everywhere and the devil loves to dish it out. Tell the devil to get out of your life and tell GOD he is here to stay. Don't think the devil will sit back and leave you alone, the temptations will always be there but cry out to GOD and HE will offer up HIS loving arms to save you. Take a stand men and love your GOD and love your wives like never before!!!! PRAISE HIM !!!
 
Mo0448

Mo0448

Senior Member
#2
Jun 10, 2013
1,209
15
38
#2
minimart said:
I just responded to a post regarding a women with marital problems. As I read thru other posts I realized that there are too many to respond to however my thoughts are the same for all of them. I would guess that very few men would reply to these posts and the replies are often women to women. I am sorry to all of you out here suffering difficulties in your marriages. As I commented in the other post, marriage is not an easy situation, however if GOD is the focal point of your marriage it will be very different relationship. I will briefly mention that I had something in my life that drove a wedge between me and GOD. I can tell you that is was the reason I did not have a truely loving relationship with HIM. That is the same reason that I did not love my wife in the same way as I do now. I very recently was able to go before GOD and confess my sins and truelly mean it. Confession and repentance is the key to knowing and loving HIM. If you can love and know your GOD it will pour into every other part of your life. I have never loved my wife so much as I do now. I can share and confess to her like never before. It is an incredible freeing experience. To all the men/husbands out there, you need to get before your GOD and make things right with HIM. Stop justifing your actions to satisfy your personal needs. There is nothing more important than knowing, respecting, praising, thanking and loving your GOD. If you truely want to have a loving and satisfying relationship with your wife then start with your GOD. You made a commitment before GOD to your wife to honor her and now it's time to do just that. Honor your GOD and you will honor her. This world is too caught up in the works and ways of the devil. Temptation is everywhere and the devil loves to dish it out. Tell the devil to get out of your life and tell GOD he is here to stay. Don't think the devil will sit back and leave you alone, the temptations will always be there but cry out to GOD and HE will offer up HIS loving arms to save you. Take a stand men and love your GOD and love your wives like never before!!!! PRAISE HIM !!!
Click to expand...
Very eloquently put minimart. I will keep the married men and women in my prayers! I have faith God will work on these marriages and bless them, while of course bringing glory to his name!
 
C

colalella2891

Guest
#3
#3
Well said bro. I'm not married, but thank you for posting this, and i'm very glad I read it.
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#4
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#4
minimart said:
I just responded to a post regarding a women with marital problems. As I read thru other posts I realized that there are too many to respond to however my thoughts are the same for all of them. I would guess that very few men would reply to these posts and the replies are often women to women. I am sorry to all of you out here suffering difficulties in your marriages. As I commented in the other post, marriage is not an easy situation, however if GOD is the focal point of your marriage it will be very different relationship. I will briefly mention that I had something in my life that drove a wedge between me and GOD. I can tell you that is was the reason I did not have a truely loving relationship with HIM. That is the same reason that I did not love my wife in the same way as I do now. I very recently was able to go before GOD and confess my sins and truelly mean it. Confession and repentance is the key to knowing and loving HIM. If you can love and know your GOD it will pour into every other part of your life. I have never loved my wife so much as I do now. I can share and confess to her like never before. It is an incredible freeing experience. To all the men/husbands out there, you need to get before your GOD and make things right with HIM. Stop justifing your actions to satisfy your personal needs. There is nothing more important than knowing, respecting, praising, thanking and loving your GOD. If you truely want to have a loving and satisfying relationship with your wife then start with your GOD. You made a commitment before GOD to your wife to honor her and now it's time to do just that. Honor your GOD and you will honor her. This world is too caught up in the works and ways of the devil. Temptation is everywhere and the devil loves to dish it out. Tell the devil to get out of your life and tell GOD he is here to stay. Don't think the devil will sit back and leave you alone, the temptations will always be there but cry out to GOD and HE will offer up HIS loving arms to save you. Take a stand men and love your GOD and love your wives like never before!!!! PRAISE HIM !!!
Click to expand...

BINGO! Thanks for sharing that!
 
S

steph_rose88

Guest
#5
#5
I am struggling in my marriage.. my husband has been unfaithful to me so many times. Not physically, but through porn and seeking out women to be sexual with over the internet.. every time I find out I threaten to leave but yet he still does it. He'll stop for maybe a month or two but then start again. Each time I find out he swears he won't do it anymore and says that it's not worth losing me over. He'll tell me he loves me so much and that he can't imagine life without me, yet he talks to other women knowing that he could lose me doing so. I don't get it.
You nailed this one right on minimart. Today I was on the verge of telling him it was over. When God spoke to me through my sister, telling me to have faith in Him to change my husband's heart. "Wait on me and I will strengthen your heart".
Ladies who are struggling with the same type of thing, God wants you to know that he loves you and knows what's best for you. He wants you to know that in the middle of life's storms LOOK TO HIM as your source of strength! Faith the size of a mustard seed could move mountains God said.. have FAITH that He can turn your marriage around ladies, and you will be BLESSED! :D
It will not be easy, Satan THRIVES to destroy lives and marriages. Do we want him to prevail?! Stay strong, and seek out your Heavenly Father for guidance and comfort and HOPE.
Anyone needing a friend to help you through this please don't hesitate to message me, as I am going through the same thing and will also be needing encouragement and support.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#6
May 29, 2013
9,092
1,755
113
#6
I don't think a spouse looking at porn is grounds for divorcing and remarrying. We don't carry out the death penalty on someone if they say something hateful to their brother. If porn is grounds for divorce, then if a guy looks at a waitress the wrong way in a restaurant once, can his wife divorce him at any time later in their marriage and be justified? If a wife checks out some other guy's butt or abs, does her husband carry a 'get out of marriage free' card.

Of course, Christians shouldn't look with lust. But adultery in the heart is a sin against God. Married couples are one flesh, one in body. Sexual immorality, physically, involves becoming one flesh with another person. I don't think it is right to divorce someone for having inappropriate thoughts.

That being said, porn can be very destructive to a marriage. I have heard of a situation where a church exercised withdrawing fellowship over the issue, including having the wife and kids move out for a while, and the man repented. But I don't see this as grounds for a remarriage not being adulterous.

Men who do this can really get caught in a trap and it can be hard to break free, but God certain has the power to free someone from this sin.
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#7
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#7
Beautifully said, minimart. Same goes for women -- make God your focus and your marriage will be in a better place.
 
S

steph_rose88

Guest
#8
#8
presidente said:
I don't think a spouse looking at porn is grounds for divorcing and remarrying. We don't carry out the death penalty on someone if they say something hateful to their brother. If porn is grounds for divorce, then if a guy looks at a waitress the wrong way in a restaurant once, can his wife divorce him at any time later in their marriage and be justified? If a wife checks out some other guy's butt or abs, does her husband carry a 'get out of marriage free' card.

Of course, Christians shouldn't look with lust. But adultery in the heart is a sin against God. Married couples are one flesh, one in body. Sexual immorality, physically, involves becoming one flesh with another person. I don't think it is right to divorce someone for having inappropriate thoughts.

That being said, porn can be very destructive to a marriage. I have heard of a situation where a church exercised withdrawing fellowship over the issue, including having the wife and kids move out for a while, and the man repented. But I don't see this as grounds for a remarriage not being adulterous.

Men who do this can really get caught in a trap and it can be hard to break free, but God certain has the power to free someone from this sin.
Click to expand...
Presidente,
my husband's struggle is not only with porn, it's mostly him talking to other women, flirting, and basically cybersexing... to me, that is adulterous, and this has happened all through the 5 yrs we've been married, and each time I found it I would express my hurt and each time he would promise me he wouldn't do it again and it wasn't worth losing me over. He would stop for a month or two then start again jst as I'm about to start gaining trust in him. It's jst years of getting my heart broken...
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#9
May 29, 2013
9,092
1,755
113
#9
steph_rose88 said:
Presidente,
my husband's struggle is not only with porn, it's mostly him talking to other women, flirting, and basically cybersexing... to me, that is adulterous, and this has happened all through the 5 yrs we've been married, and each time I found it I would express my hurt and each time he would promise me he wouldn't do it again and it wasn't worth losing me over. He would stop for a month or two then start again jst as I'm about to start gaining trust in him. It's jst years of getting my heart broken...
Click to expand...

I know that is very hurtful, and I would definitely not want my wife to do something like that. But I wouldn't see that alone as grounds to divorce her and marry someone else. Adultery is a heinous crime, and God had them stoning people in the Old Testament over it. But they didn't stone people for flirting and talking about sex.
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#10
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#10
Our wonderful minister is getting divorced. We have many in our church torn inside with the grief of divorce. We also have many who use God principles in their marriage, it is a joy just to see them together. They always support each other and seem to work as a team, even the ones who are very different in their characteristics.

I have been making a study through books of how God principles and rituals work in marriage. Some Jews still use rituals in their life. I thought it would show me that we are right to call it Judaism and expel it from our church as legalistic leading away from God. There is some of that in my reading, but most of it goes the other way. I was amazed. One book was "Jews in the Middle Ages" or "Holy Days" by Liz Harris, or Mudhouse Sabbath, that gives results of using God's plan for everyday living before Christ lived with us in the flesh. It is amazing the beautiful results in satisfaction and joy in living. The NT shows us how to do what the rituals pointed to in our hearts, of being what the rituals were to lead us to being without the rituals. But these books show how rituals truly lead the people who follow the rituals to a state of being.

For instance, every Friday Sabbath dinner the men recite the end of the 31st proverb to their wives, praising them for the work they do in keeping their family. Sex is withheld once a month, then there is a purifying bath they relate to spiritual purification. When they meet after that it is sex as something holy. For the men the home, not their work, is the center of their life. On Friday afternoon, they are involved with preparation for the Sabbath when the family stops everything to let only God take control, and men are involved with this preparation.

The results are men appreciating the work of their wives, of making sex a binding of their marriage, of men sharing in building the home, in the home being a place where God lives. The rituals to get them there aren't important, but the end results of the rituals are.
 
M

myheart

Guest
#12
#12
May God Bless you, I'm going through the same and my he filed, I'm glad he did, I did not want to be married to him with the proof I have of what he has been doing with the same woman.
 
M

myheart

Guest
#13
#13
God Bless you, I was going through the same, he filed and I'm glad he did, I did not want to be married to him knowing the proof I have of what hes been doing with this female, I read these daily, and I want to share them with you

Exodus 14:14
Psalms 23
Psalms 27
Psalms 37
Psalms 54
Psalms 91
Proverbs 3:5-6
Isaiah 54:17
Isaiah 65:24
Jeremiah 29:11
Romans 8:28-39
Philippians 4:13, 19
Colossians 2:2-25
 
You must log in or register to reply here.