S
i've never really told many of even my closest christian friends the person I was before I came to god, and testimonies are a powerful thing - so here I go:
I'll start from the start (funnily enough)
When i was a very young boy I went to church (pentacostal: occassionally freaky when young) with my dad on sundays, mum too most of the time. I didnt really take most of the goings on seriously at church, but when I was a little older dad gave me this book on revelations (of all the books in the bible to study when you're a kid). Looking back now the book was quite dodgy in it's specificities, but it did with god's help however "plant the seed", it really underlined the power and finality of god for me.
forward wind, my parents divorce (due to violence on my dad's behalf, although nowadays I know just how absolutley screwed his childhood was). Dad moved out, my mum is raising my sister and I on her own, church falls between the cracks. My dad also went right off the rails after his divorce, drugs, women, no church etc.
forward wind to highschool, things got really bad (as they do in highschool) with bullying, self-esteem issues etc. And although my dad had well and truly cleaned up his act by this stage, his relationship with god was not what it should be. And due to the aforementionedhighschool factors, I got frustrated with god and started to look for answers elsewhere, elsewhere of course being the writings of Nieztche and a few of the "isms". Mix this in with some malign influence from my sister's then partner (my sister is quite a few years older than me, so her partner became a natural role model) a not-yet-foundout by us neo-nazi (he was stealthy about it, ie not a skinhead), I also became such a follower of the vile ideology he supported. I lost most of the few friends I had because of my newly adopted beliefs, and hate became the primary driver of my existence (I said some heionous things in this time, not only of my fellow man but also of god). And to top it all off I did terribly at highschool and slammed on the kgs. Then I did almost a complete backflip after my sis and her partner broke up and became a bit of hippy and got into drugs (nothing hard) with no sense of direction (im also fairly certain god spared me from a life changing illness at this point) etc
forward wind, I witnessed a sign (from that book I read as a kid) at night on the moon - that literally put the fear of god into me, I started going to church (my mum's gym buddy was a pastor's wife, also with the encouragement of my sister's chrisitan partner, now husband) and doing bible studies with the group there. With god's loving hand on my shoulder I dropped way back down to a healthy weight, got into university (with my dodgy grade), upgraded to a better uni this year, and now have a career in sights. One that I know he has written on my heart to do to the betterment of my fellow man and to satisfy justice. oh and the main thing he done was *soften my viciously hardened hardened heart so I could love/trust/accept and have faith in his saviour and love all of mankind as equals*
I hope that wasn't too long and painful for anyone
thankyou so much father
I'll start from the start (funnily enough)
When i was a very young boy I went to church (pentacostal: occassionally freaky when young) with my dad on sundays, mum too most of the time. I didnt really take most of the goings on seriously at church, but when I was a little older dad gave me this book on revelations (of all the books in the bible to study when you're a kid). Looking back now the book was quite dodgy in it's specificities, but it did with god's help however "plant the seed", it really underlined the power and finality of god for me.
forward wind, my parents divorce (due to violence on my dad's behalf, although nowadays I know just how absolutley screwed his childhood was). Dad moved out, my mum is raising my sister and I on her own, church falls between the cracks. My dad also went right off the rails after his divorce, drugs, women, no church etc.
forward wind to highschool, things got really bad (as they do in highschool) with bullying, self-esteem issues etc. And although my dad had well and truly cleaned up his act by this stage, his relationship with god was not what it should be. And due to the aforementionedhighschool factors, I got frustrated with god and started to look for answers elsewhere, elsewhere of course being the writings of Nieztche and a few of the "isms". Mix this in with some malign influence from my sister's then partner (my sister is quite a few years older than me, so her partner became a natural role model) a not-yet-foundout by us neo-nazi (he was stealthy about it, ie not a skinhead), I also became such a follower of the vile ideology he supported. I lost most of the few friends I had because of my newly adopted beliefs, and hate became the primary driver of my existence (I said some heionous things in this time, not only of my fellow man but also of god). And to top it all off I did terribly at highschool and slammed on the kgs. Then I did almost a complete backflip after my sis and her partner broke up and became a bit of hippy and got into drugs (nothing hard) with no sense of direction (im also fairly certain god spared me from a life changing illness at this point) etc
forward wind, I witnessed a sign (from that book I read as a kid) at night on the moon - that literally put the fear of god into me, I started going to church (my mum's gym buddy was a pastor's wife, also with the encouragement of my sister's chrisitan partner, now husband) and doing bible studies with the group there. With god's loving hand on my shoulder I dropped way back down to a healthy weight, got into university (with my dodgy grade), upgraded to a better uni this year, and now have a career in sights. One that I know he has written on my heart to do to the betterment of my fellow man and to satisfy justice. oh and the main thing he done was *soften my viciously hardened hardened heart so I could love/trust/accept and have faith in his saviour and love all of mankind as equals*
I hope that wasn't too long and painful for anyone
thankyou so much father