M
Why does it sometimes like some people go through immense suffering? When I thought God was finally going to answer my prayers and has spoke too me the opposite and something bad to happen. I had recently fled out of state to escape an abusive relationship with someone that claimed to be a believer and a Christian but really was a disordered (a Sociopath). This relationship cause a lot of issue that I am still trying to solve (trust, debt, self confidence, lack of good Christian friends, lack of strength etc). After moving I found a church I liked and wanted to start going back to bible studies.
I reconnected with one of my friends which I had been friends for a long time. I just saw him as a good friend that wouldn't betray me and hurt me that would help me in my walk with God. I never had any romantic feelings, but we started hanging out and spending time together and God changed both of our hearts about each other.
We then both developed a sense of deep romantic feeling for each other. He said after we started dating he had to have peace about the relationship and make sure he was in Gods Will. Then a month later he said after that he didn't have peace and had a feeling it wasn't meant to be. He said he thought that could be only God speaking to him. I thought God wouldn't of warmed both of our hearts at the same time just to break us apart painful like he did. I thought God had spoke to me and told me to just have patience and this was meant to be. God just want us to take it slow and for me to focus on building my faith and building friendships with other believers.
How could two people hear such different things from God. I totally didn't see it coming because we had connected spiritually, emotionally, had the same views on morals and the same interests. It just seemed like the perfect match. He said the feeling he initially thought was fear but as his feelings grew stronger that the feeling that it wasn't meant to be wasn't going away. Thus, he had to end things before things got more painful.
He also said he was at peace with it and knew it was the right thing to do, and he actually seemed to be happier which really confused me. He said he had peace now since he was following Gods plan. He had learned what he needed to learn from the relationship to make him a better Christian and to find the partner God meant for him.
Well I really didn't think this was Gods Plan and this really seemed like it was quite cruel on Gods part. I had just had to give up my dog the day before all this transpired. And I had lost my only Christian friend as he said we could no longer be friends as his emotions would take over. I feel angry, betrayed, and mad. I never went looking for anyone to date and said I wasn't ready to date to the past relationship I was involved with.
It seems like I have faced a lot more suffering and challenges than most. I have several autoimmune disorder (Bechets, Fibromalgia, and Hashimatos). I also have IgA deficiency. This means I have spent a lot of my time sick. I have had not one but two abusive relationships. Both professed to be Christians but weren't. One was just misguided I believe, and the last seemed to embody the devil himself. I had my virginity taken away from me when I was raped at age 18 which caused issues with sexuality. I had severe clinical depression at age 16 and tried to commit suicide but God decided it wasn't my time to go and brought me back to this earth. I also grew up in an atheist family who didn't support my faith and still don't.
Why does it seem like everyone comes into my life and the expense of mine?
How can anyone every know what is real. Does God not want my life to have any meaning? It just seems like bad keeps coming into my life and good just keeps being taken away. Even when I think he has answered my prayers it all seems to be a cruel joke. At this point I just feel broken and have no more strength to fight anymore. I feel at this point Gods plan for me is suffering. Don't I deserve something good to make all suffering worth while. I am trying to do what God wants but I just don't understand. What is it worth to go to work struggle to pay of a huge amount of debt, be in pain and sick all the time, have no friends, and have family that doesn't understand or fully support me? How does that serve any purpose or plan?
I reconnected with one of my friends which I had been friends for a long time. I just saw him as a good friend that wouldn't betray me and hurt me that would help me in my walk with God. I never had any romantic feelings, but we started hanging out and spending time together and God changed both of our hearts about each other.
We then both developed a sense of deep romantic feeling for each other. He said after we started dating he had to have peace about the relationship and make sure he was in Gods Will. Then a month later he said after that he didn't have peace and had a feeling it wasn't meant to be. He said he thought that could be only God speaking to him. I thought God wouldn't of warmed both of our hearts at the same time just to break us apart painful like he did. I thought God had spoke to me and told me to just have patience and this was meant to be. God just want us to take it slow and for me to focus on building my faith and building friendships with other believers.
How could two people hear such different things from God. I totally didn't see it coming because we had connected spiritually, emotionally, had the same views on morals and the same interests. It just seemed like the perfect match. He said the feeling he initially thought was fear but as his feelings grew stronger that the feeling that it wasn't meant to be wasn't going away. Thus, he had to end things before things got more painful.
He also said he was at peace with it and knew it was the right thing to do, and he actually seemed to be happier which really confused me. He said he had peace now since he was following Gods plan. He had learned what he needed to learn from the relationship to make him a better Christian and to find the partner God meant for him.
Well I really didn't think this was Gods Plan and this really seemed like it was quite cruel on Gods part. I had just had to give up my dog the day before all this transpired. And I had lost my only Christian friend as he said we could no longer be friends as his emotions would take over. I feel angry, betrayed, and mad. I never went looking for anyone to date and said I wasn't ready to date to the past relationship I was involved with.
It seems like I have faced a lot more suffering and challenges than most. I have several autoimmune disorder (Bechets, Fibromalgia, and Hashimatos). I also have IgA deficiency. This means I have spent a lot of my time sick. I have had not one but two abusive relationships. Both professed to be Christians but weren't. One was just misguided I believe, and the last seemed to embody the devil himself. I had my virginity taken away from me when I was raped at age 18 which caused issues with sexuality. I had severe clinical depression at age 16 and tried to commit suicide but God decided it wasn't my time to go and brought me back to this earth. I also grew up in an atheist family who didn't support my faith and still don't.
Why does it seem like everyone comes into my life and the expense of mine?
How can anyone every know what is real. Does God not want my life to have any meaning? It just seems like bad keeps coming into my life and good just keeps being taken away. Even when I think he has answered my prayers it all seems to be a cruel joke. At this point I just feel broken and have no more strength to fight anymore. I feel at this point Gods plan for me is suffering. Don't I deserve something good to make all suffering worth while. I am trying to do what God wants but I just don't understand. What is it worth to go to work struggle to pay of a huge amount of debt, be in pain and sick all the time, have no friends, and have family that doesn't understand or fully support me? How does that serve any purpose or plan?