What am I meant to do?

[kaykay]

Ok so its a difficult situation. I know the bible says honor your mother and father...but what if you have absolutely no respect for one of them? My mum says she is a christian but she definately carries the term lightly. All she really does is criticize you and tell you everything that you are doing wrong while not noticing that she is doing it aswell. I have grown up watching her insult and cause pain for everyone in my family day after day (on a couple occasions she started physical fights) and honestly it has made me despise her...I feel bad for feeling that way about my own mother.How am I meant to honor someone like that? And why should I treat her differently to anyone else? What am I meant to do...?

 

[MissCris]

Honoring your parents doesn't mean that you have to agree with, or even approve of, everything they do or say. In fact, I don't think it's good for young adults to be just blindly devoted to either of their parents, especially when one or more of them are not setting much of an example. However, as long as you live with your mother, you need to show her respect- as in, not talking back to her, not arguing with her, not picking fights. You don't have to do what she does in order to show respect. You don't even have to like her. But you do need to do as she says (unless she wants you to do something that goes directly against God's Word). You do need to treat her the way you would like to be treated. And it can't hurt to pray for her, as prayer is the most powerful tool God gives us for situations where we have no power ourselves.

 

[CHRISTENE]

No ones perfect. As children we grow up trusting and copying our parents, but as we mature we may find lots of loopholes in our parents principles, the best thing we can do is to first forgive them for their wrong.

I learned forgiving people a hard way, it wasn't easy and almost impossible for me, but by the grace of God and because of the prayer's of the saints I learned to forgive and now I know the importance of forgiveness.

One great thing I learned about forgiveness is, that if we don't forgive people; somewhere in future we may end up in the same condemnation we gave them .






We learn this in Matthew 18:23-35


23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[a] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”






Pray to God for your mom, might be when she notices your good behavior and love for her she may change, if not you can be at least relieved that you gave a try.

God will surely bless you for being a nice daughter and perhaps He may grant you added blessing to be a better mom in future.

God bless you.

 

[seekingthetruth]

My mother was an abusive person. Not easy to live with. But once I moved out I realized that she had her own problems and took them out on me and my brothers although it was wrong I have forgiven her and have accepted her ways. Distance has helped and even made her change a bit. I continue to listen and respect her and bite my tongue. My advice is pray when she is getting to you and remember you don't want to do anything you will regret because someday she will no longer be around for you to ask for forgiveness

 

[Alicia]

I grew up with a verbally abusive father so I can understand your feelings. I had no respect at all for him because I knew from an early age that what he was saying was wrong. He made my mother, my sister and I miserable. I can also understand you saying you despise her because I felt that way too. Treat her with respect! Don't be drawn into and arguments with her even if you just have to walk away. If this does become physical then you have to get someone in authority involved. What you are feeling is only human, as you get older then you'll be better equipped to handle this even if it means you have to find your own place to live. I can't stress this enough though that if you feel the verbal abuse is more than you can stand or if it becomes physical you must speak to your school counselor or Minister.

 

[RickyZ]

Eze. 20:18 - I said to their children in the wilderness, "Do not follow the statutes of your parents or keep their laws or defile yourselves with their idols.

2 Chron. 30:7 - Do not be like your parents and your fellow Israelites, who were unfaithful to the LORD, the God of their ancestors, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see.

The comand to honor your parents assumes that they are honorable. Parents have that obligation first.