Hello BlackTigress,
First of all I'd like to commend you for seeking Godly advice about a topic we all as humans and Christians have struggled with from time to time.
So I will try and help provide an explanation to your question.
To start with, since we are all born of the flesh to the influence of our worldly father the devil
When were born again were born to our new father The Lord our God Jesus Christ.
During this transition regardless of ones age the Lord starts transforming our heart and mind so that our thoughts become more his thoughts.
Love as opposed to hate
Foregiveness as opposed to vengeance
A kind and gentle spirit as opposed to bitterness
One reason the bible tells us to meditate on the Lord means to ponder upon his thoughts for us.
God also begins to replace our old habits ways and thoughts with his.
We also should be submissive to him to allow him to do this giving up ourselves as a sacrifice in favor of him and his ways, as a way of getting closer to him and building our relationship with God out of love and respect for him as the one who leads us.
When we have conflictng thoughts Jesus also told us he would send his counselor
the holy spirit, which at times may convict us, encourage us, provide answers, guidance peace and comfort in our ongoing spiritual battle for our purpose unto God and his good will.
Regarding sin and temptation this is one thing we are told in
James chapter 1
13When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death
Allow me to better explain this verse, first we may all have thoughts enter our mind suddenly
1. tempted by sin
If we entertain an ungodly thought or desire
the thought itself can progress for us to be dragged away and enticed
once this happens the thought after first being conceived(popping into our head)
gives birth to sin (if we linger on the thought enough for one to want to carry out the act)
and as it says if allowed to progress like something being born gives birth to death.
This can relate to both physical death as well as our spiritual death.
Or another way of wording it meaning a sepration from God.
When in fact we all want our spiritual relationship with God to grow
So the next question is what do we correctly do to have the ability to control our thoughts?
If an improper thought pops into our head cast it out, or take it captive to Christ
You could say Jesus take this thought out of my head and replace it with something good and holy
If were always around things such as TV shows which place certain thoughts in our head simply removing those things which lead to impoure thoughts will greatly help.
Remember in the Garden, the point where Adam and Eve were deceived
Satan accomplished this merely by power of suggestion and causing them both to question themselves as well as God.
And power of suggestion is just that...powerful
So the next step will be for you to master your own thoughts through the power of God as well as the power of Gods word in your heart.
Gods word is a much better form of power of suggestion since Gods word overcomes the devil.
Gods word is alive and well as much as Christ himself is
We could look at how God as our own creator knowing how we work and function gave advice to Cain in how to overcome his thoughts when tempted.
Genesis 4:7
7If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.”
God gave us the free will to choose but wants us to choose his thoughts over our own
You can master your thoughts in order to take them captive
God has given you the power and ability to control any and all thoughts as a new creation in Christ and not let them have any control over you.
One of the easiest ways to do this is anytime you do something simply ask yourself,
Am I going to do this to help me or to help God
Do I want this for me or am I going to use this for Gods glory
Then ask God what he wants for you to do and let him guide you so he is invited in the decision making process.
He doesnt want to have to force himself to tell us what to do, he wants us to always go to him and ask him what he wants for us to do and how to behave in our thoughts, with others, and as an example for him.
If a person dwells on the thoughts of sex they give an open opportunity to not only consider adultery but fornication also
Sex is a sacred thing between a man and woman in Gods eyes and is reserved for marriage lest its meaning and the fact of two becoming one flesh would be diminished and mocked.
When the angel of the lord came to Joseph to let him know not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife since she would be bearing a child, He said" But I have not laid with her"
Even Joseph knew not to have sex until after they were married.
The angel of the lord came to comfort him in this decision since it was standard practice to not marry the woman if she had been found not to be a virgin.
That to me shows well enough that sex is reserved only until after two have entered the holy union of marriage.
If were allowed to think sex is ok between two unmarried people, then why wait till marriage and why get married at all.
Marriage in its own definition is the joining of two things as one.
Nothing other accomplishes this so profoundly as sex does only within Gods love, not ours.
someone shouldnt think they can claim the rights of marriage unless they are actually married
31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
c 32This is a profound mystery
We also shouldnt try to uncover this mystery unless it is in the way that God designed it
.......As husband and wife
I pray that providing these verses helps answer your question in some way.
God Bless
