What do you think I should do? Should I tell my bf about past guy(s) I've dated???

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wuzzzup

Guest
#1
#1
So, I am in a great relationship with a GREAT Christian guy right now...been dating almost six months. I may go on a mission trip this summer, and the guy leading it, is a guy I dated briefly (we went out three times, no serious relationship), over two years ago. Nothing happened between the two of us beyond that. We are just acquaintances at church.

All three of us (me, my bf, other guy) go to the same church. I think my current bf has noooo idea I ever went out with mission trip leader. My sister (the one who set me up with mission trip leader) thinks I should tell my bf before I go on the mission trip. I am not against the idea, but I don't see a huge need to. It is in the past~! What do you guys think??? Just curious about what some of you might think.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
If it were just a few dates, its not a big deal. But here's the catch. Would you rather him find out during the trip somehow? Or farther down the line? Might the fact that you didn't bring it up make him suspicious? Sometimes letting someone know something ahead of time they take it well, but if they feel you've withheld it on purpose that small thing they can handle might become something bigger in their mind. So, just to be safe, i'd let him know. And also reassure him that it was a few dates and that was it, and you had no interest. Just to quell any concerns he might develop if you let him wonder.
 
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wuzzzup

Guest
#3
#3
thanks! that is good advice. Ill bring it up the next time I see him in person. Which should be this weekend. :)
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#4
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#4
Ugly said:
If it were just a few dates, its not a big deal. But here's the catch. Would you rather him find out during the trip somehow? Or farther down the line? Might the fact that you didn't bring it up make him suspicious? Sometimes letting someone know something ahead of time they take it well, but if they feel you've withheld it on purpose that small thing they can handle might become something bigger in their mind. So, just to be safe, i'd let him know. And also reassure him that it was a few dates and that was it, and you had no interest. Just to quell any concerns he might develop if you let him wonder.
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Ditto.

Just make it an FYI, because it's not a big deal. If your new dude gets weird or jealous over 3 dates a couple years ago, that's a giant red flag dancing in front of your face.
 
S

Seraphic

Guest
#5
#5
it's not a big deal, just tell him, get it over and done with and move on. live your life gurrrl
 
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Raine

Guest
#6
#6
I honestly think it depends... you know this guy best. How do you think he would respond to this information? Some guys can shrug it off and others hold onto it. I think sharing it shows that you have nothing to hide, which is good and establishes a strong foundation, but does he care to know? Maybe he doesn't? Or he might even feel that its better that he doesn't know... I guess something you can use to test the waters too is, does he talk to you about his previous dating relationships? Or is he more like, its the past, we don't need to talk about it?
 
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ww_21

Guest
#7
#7
​Honesty is always the way to go.
 
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