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R
You can be celibate and have a boyfriend at the same time.
I'm living proof it's possible.
Are there other reasons you want to break up? I suggest just be honest with him, and don't try and sugar coat it if you do decide to break it off.
Men hate that. Just say it like it is and stick to the point.
If he thinks you're just making excuses and you aren't, that's his problem, not yours.
I'm living proof it's possible.
Are there other reasons you want to break up? I suggest just be honest with him, and don't try and sugar coat it if you do decide to break it off.
Men hate that. Just say it like it is and stick to the point.
If he thinks you're just making excuses and you aren't, that's his problem, not yours.
U
She may be able to be celibate with a boyfriend, but likely that boyfriend is eventually going to want to marry and stop being celibate. That won't work. Which is probably why she wants to break up with him. It would be cruel of her to continue dating someone she has no intents on eventually marrying and having sex with. Especially if he doesn't know. And chances are if she told him he would figure 'she'll grow out of this eventually'. And if she never did then he would waste who knows how much of his life waiting for something that will never happen.
Best way to do this, OP, is stop assuming what he will think. Don't think for him, don't place your thoughts in his mind. Just be gentle and straightforward. Offer your reason and let him come to his own conclusions, not you coming to his conclusions for him.
And, even if you are right and he does feel the way you say, so what? It doesn't change anything. No matter what he thinks it doesn't change the fact you want to live celibate. So what difference does it make if he thinks you're making excuses or not? If you're doing what you feel God is leading you to, then that's really what matters most, not his beliefs on your motivations.
Best way to do this, OP, is stop assuming what he will think. Don't think for him, don't place your thoughts in his mind. Just be gentle and straightforward. Offer your reason and let him come to his own conclusions, not you coming to his conclusions for him.
And, even if you are right and he does feel the way you say, so what? It doesn't change anything. No matter what he thinks it doesn't change the fact you want to live celibate. So what difference does it make if he thinks you're making excuses or not? If you're doing what you feel God is leading you to, then that's really what matters most, not his beliefs on your motivations.
I know, I am OLD! Some societies say old women can be heard. So here goes: I was fifteen in 1940, and honestly our society then had just as many brains as it does now. We were quite civilized. But how we looked at sex was much, much different.
When boys asked for it, they were showing you they didn’t care for you that much. Those who really cared respected you, respected sex, and wanted it a part of marriage. Girls who gave out were looked down on. Some because they didn’t think they were worthwhile,some because they just didn’t give a dam for much of anything. Sometimes feelings got away from a couple,but they usually did everything they could to repair it.
Now, there is a large group of people who do not regard boyfriend and sex as the same, because of God. God points to a way to live that God says works the best for our happiness. He is usually right.
It is true that I haven’t experienced sex without marriage, but I do know that there is a spiritual dimension then, a complete commitment to each other that I am sure is not there without it. When God created us, God instilled in us sexual desire but had it complicated with many other things, such as making two into one, and giving it spiritual symbolism. To accept it on only the physical terms takes most of it away. They say love is enough, but love without commitment enough to put it on the dotted line is empty.
Even in our age, when obeying God means nothing to most people, there are men who date without sex. There really are Godly men, or men who respect Godly women.
To me, these things seem just common facts. It seems to me that if your boyfriend doesn’tget it, then he is acting like a jerk and you are well rid of him.
Perhaps that means that in todays world without God in control of people, Godly women sometimes must live alone. That is better than choosing to live only in this life, without any eternity. God's way is for milk and honey, abundance, peace, love, and that for eternity.
When boys asked for it, they were showing you they didn’t care for you that much. Those who really cared respected you, respected sex, and wanted it a part of marriage. Girls who gave out were looked down on. Some because they didn’t think they were worthwhile,some because they just didn’t give a dam for much of anything. Sometimes feelings got away from a couple,but they usually did everything they could to repair it.
Now, there is a large group of people who do not regard boyfriend and sex as the same, because of God. God points to a way to live that God says works the best for our happiness. He is usually right.
It is true that I haven’t experienced sex without marriage, but I do know that there is a spiritual dimension then, a complete commitment to each other that I am sure is not there without it. When God created us, God instilled in us sexual desire but had it complicated with many other things, such as making two into one, and giving it spiritual symbolism. To accept it on only the physical terms takes most of it away. They say love is enough, but love without commitment enough to put it on the dotted line is empty.
Even in our age, when obeying God means nothing to most people, there are men who date without sex. There really are Godly men, or men who respect Godly women.
To me, these things seem just common facts. It seems to me that if your boyfriend doesn’tget it, then he is acting like a jerk and you are well rid of him.
Perhaps that means that in todays world without God in control of people, Godly women sometimes must live alone. That is better than choosing to live only in this life, without any eternity. God's way is for milk and honey, abundance, peace, love, and that for eternity.
U
First, as stated in my previous post, you are making an assumption that this boyfriend is trying to have sex with her and that is why she is considering breaking up. From the OP wording, that does not sound like the case at all. She is saying she wants to live a celibate LIFE. Meaning a life without any sex. Since dating typically is about finding a spouse, and finding a spouse is, to a degree, about the ability to have sex without sinning, then to continue to date someone that she never plans to have sex with, would be wrong. If she has no intent to marry, and/or have sex, he needs to know. And it doesn't make him a jerk if he doesn't want to live a celibate life in marriage.
Also, its not only 'Godly women that must live alone'. I get tired of single women playing the role of martyr and trashing Christian men in blanket statements, as opposed to treating each man as an individual who may not be like some of the men she may have dealt with. Many single Godly men also have to live alone because not every woman claiming to be Christian is acting it either.
Also, its not only 'Godly women that must live alone'. I get tired of single women playing the role of martyr and trashing Christian men in blanket statements, as opposed to treating each man as an individual who may not be like some of the men she may have dealt with. Many single Godly men also have to live alone because not every woman claiming to be Christian is acting it either.
