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I
Actually, there is a verse in Proverbs about this:
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Basically, to answer the original question, the quote 'Spare the rod, and spoil the child' is about discipline, or the lack thereof. It's implying that in order for children not to be come, spolit brats, they should be disciplined when necessary. If a child is never disciplined when they do wrong, then they are not learning wrong from right, they develop poor attitudes and become selfish and essentially 'spoilt' as generally their attitude is 'self' rather than about other people.
If you read all the vesres in Proverbs around the one I quoted, you may understand it in context a little better.
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Basically, to answer the original question, the quote 'Spare the rod, and spoil the child' is about discipline, or the lack thereof. It's implying that in order for children not to be come, spolit brats, they should be disciplined when necessary. If a child is never disciplined when they do wrong, then they are not learning wrong from right, they develop poor attitudes and become selfish and essentially 'spoilt' as generally their attitude is 'self' rather than about other people.
If you read all the vesres in Proverbs around the one I quoted, you may understand it in context a little better.
I
No it's not.
It's simply saying that those who choose not to discipline their children are setting them up for failure. It is not saying you must BEAT your child. No one here will advocate for that, but children must be disciplined as necessary. 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' is an analogy, it's not LITERALLY saying 'get a rod and beat your child'.
It's saying if you discipline your child when needed (OUT OF LOVE FOR THEM) you are teaching them right from wrong, setting them up to make right choices when they're older, rather than turning them into selfish, spoilt brats who consider no-one else.
Again I say, we are not talking about BEATING a child, the phrase is an anaolgy and the 'to smack or not to smack' argument is an altogether different topic. 'Discipline' does not always mean to 'hit/smack'. There are several different forms of discipline, but the idea behind the phrase is the same- children NEED discipline (regardless of what form of discipline that may be).
Just as children need discipline and gudiance from a loving parent, we also need to be guided and disciplined by our heavenly Father. If you are in close relationship with Him, I'm sure you will have encountered times when of discipline from Him... why? Because He loves us, and wants the best for us...the same as parents love their children and only want whats best for them.
S
I was punished with a belt when I was a child.
Do I feel like I was abused? No
Am I emotionally scarred because of it? No
Am I better off because of it? Yes
Do I believe some people go to far with it and it becomes abuse? Yes
How do you know where to draw the line? Use the common sense that God gave you.
Whats funny is only my mother would whip us. I only remember my dad whipping us a handful of times at the most. However, I always felt my mother cared about us more deeply. My dad would basically let us do what ever we wanted as long as it didn't cause him any inconvenience.
Do I feel like I was abused? No
Am I emotionally scarred because of it? No
Am I better off because of it? Yes
Do I believe some people go to far with it and it becomes abuse? Yes
How do you know where to draw the line? Use the common sense that God gave you.
Whats funny is only my mother would whip us. I only remember my dad whipping us a handful of times at the most. However, I always felt my mother cared about us more deeply. My dad would basically let us do what ever we wanted as long as it didn't cause him any inconvenience.
An alternative view is given in other verses:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not
depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Colossians 3:21
As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you,
as a father doth his children,That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath
called you unto his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
ON TRAINING UP A CHILD:
Barnes' Notes on the Bible
Train - Initiate, and so, educate.
The way he should go - Or, according to the tenor of his way, i. e., the path especially
belonging to, especially fitted for, the individual's character. The proverb enjoins the
closest possible study of each child's temperament and the adaptation of "his way of life"
to that.
Clarke's Commentary on the Bible
"Initiate the child at the opening (the mouth) of his path." When he comes to the opening of
the way of life, being able to walk alone, and to choose; stop at this entrance, and begin a
series of instructions, how he is to conduct himself in every step he takes. Show him the
duties, the dangers, and the blessings of the path; give him directions how to perform the
duties, how to escape the dangers, and how to secure the blessings, which all lie before
him.
Fix these on his mind by daily inculcation, till their impression is become indelible;
then lead him to practice by slow and almost imperceptible degrees, till each indelible
impression becomes a strongly radicated habit. Beg incessantly the blessing of God on all
this teaching and discipline; and then you have obeyed the injunction of the wisest of men.
Nor is there any likelihood that such impressions shall ever be effaced, or that such habits
shall ever be destroyed.חנך
chanac, which we translate train up or initiate, signifies also
dedicate; and is often used for the consecrating any thing, house, or person, to the service
of God. Dedicate, therefore, in the first instance, your child to God; and nurse, teach, and
discipline him as God's child, whom he has intrusted to your care. These things observed,
and illustrated by your own conduct, the child (you have God's word for it) will never depart
from the path of life.
Keil and Delitzsch Biblical Commentary on the Old Testament
The instruction of youth, the education of youth, ought to be conformed to the nature of
youth; the matter of instruction, the manner of instruction, ought to regulate itself
according to the stage of life, and its peculiarities; the method ought to be arranged
according to the degree of development which the mental and bodily life of the youth has
arrived at. The verb חנך is a denominative like עקב, Proverbs 22:4; it signifies to affect
the taste, חך ( equals חנך
, in the Arab. to put date syrup into the mouth of the suckling;
so that we may compare with it the saying of Horace, Ep. i. 2, 69: Quo semel est imbuta
recens servabit odorem Testa diu. In the post-bibl. Heb. חנּוּך denotes that which in the
language of the Church is called catechizatio; חנוך (לנער ספר is the usual title of the
catechisms. It is the fundamental and first requisite of all educational instruction which
the proverb formulates, a suitable motto for the lesson-books of pedagogues and
catechists. ממּנּה [from it] refers to that training of youth, in conformity with his nature,
which becomes a second nature, that which is imprinted, inbred, becomes accustomed.
Hebrews 12:4-13 speaks on chastening a son by a father (presumably in reference to a child
that has been in training) -
those outside influences that also affect the proper growth ...
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not
depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Colossians 3:21
As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you,
as a father doth his children,That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath
called you unto his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
Barnes' Notes on the Bible
Train - Initiate, and so, educate.
The way he should go - Or, according to the tenor of his way, i. e., the path especially
belonging to, especially fitted for, the individual's character. The proverb enjoins the
closest possible study of each child's temperament and the adaptation of "his way of life"
to that.
Clarke's Commentary on the Bible
"Initiate the child at the opening (the mouth) of his path." When he comes to the opening of
the way of life, being able to walk alone, and to choose; stop at this entrance, and begin a
series of instructions, how he is to conduct himself in every step he takes. Show him the
duties, the dangers, and the blessings of the path; give him directions how to perform the
duties, how to escape the dangers, and how to secure the blessings, which all lie before
him.
Fix these on his mind by daily inculcation, till their impression is become indelible;
then lead him to practice by slow and almost imperceptible degrees, till each indelible
impression becomes a strongly radicated habit. Beg incessantly the blessing of God on all
this teaching and discipline; and then you have obeyed the injunction of the wisest of men.
Nor is there any likelihood that such impressions shall ever be effaced, or that such habits
shall ever be destroyed.חנך
chanac, which we translate train up or initiate, signifies also
dedicate; and is often used for the consecrating any thing, house, or person, to the service
of God. Dedicate, therefore, in the first instance, your child to God; and nurse, teach, and
discipline him as God's child, whom he has intrusted to your care. These things observed,
and illustrated by your own conduct, the child (you have God's word for it) will never depart
from the path of life.
Keil and Delitzsch Biblical Commentary on the Old Testament
The instruction of youth, the education of youth, ought to be conformed to the nature of
youth; the matter of instruction, the manner of instruction, ought to regulate itself
according to the stage of life, and its peculiarities; the method ought to be arranged
according to the degree of development which the mental and bodily life of the youth has
arrived at. The verb חנך is a denominative like עקב, Proverbs 22:4; it signifies to affect
the taste, חך ( equals חנך
, in the Arab. to put date syrup into the mouth of the suckling;so that we may compare with it the saying of Horace, Ep. i. 2, 69: Quo semel est imbuta
recens servabit odorem Testa diu. In the post-bibl. Heb. חנּוּך denotes that which in the
language of the Church is called catechizatio; חנוך (לנער
ספר is the usual title of thecatechisms. It is the fundamental and first requisite of all educational instruction which
the proverb formulates, a suitable motto for the lesson-books of pedagogues and
catechists. ממּנּה [from it] refers to that training of youth, in conformity with his nature,
which becomes a second nature, that which is imprinted, inbred, becomes accustomed.
And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to
make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
2 Timothy 3:15
make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
2 Timothy 3:15
Hebrews 12:4-13 speaks on chastening a son by a father (presumably in reference to a child
that has been in training) -
Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. And ye have
forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son,
despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked
of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son
whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is
he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye
bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we
gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the
Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after
their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his
holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous:
nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto
them which are exercised thereby.
Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out
of the way; but letit rather be healed.
and relative to this training, we look and see that the 'rod of correction' is also placed onforgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son,
despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked
of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son
whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is
he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye
bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we
gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the
Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after
their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his
holiness.
Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous:
nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto
them which are exercised thereby.
Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out
of the way; but letit rather be healed.
those outside influences that also affect the proper growth ...
And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his
trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and
pursued them unto Dan. And he divided himself against them, he and his
servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is
on the left hand of Damascus. Genesis 14:14-15
trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and
pursued them unto Dan. And he divided himself against them, he and his
servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is
on the left hand of Damascus. Genesis 14:14-15
C
i was spoiled as a child and it messed me up, i would be disobedient to parents but never to other people outside home because i knew they would actually punish me or do something to verify that i was wrong.
its good to discipline children, just make sure its not overboard eh that might cause trust issues
its good to discipline children, just make sure its not overboard eh that might cause trust issues