What's holding you back?

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djness

Guest
#61
#61
Liamson said:
Without a shred of sarcasm involved, I think I agree with you. It wasn't until I started looking 'inside' the church that I encountered more trouble than I care to describe. I don't know how anyone survives the expectations and the ocean of advice.

But the relationships that started not in a bar or a club, but in life, those are the ones that I can say were drama free, game free, and where I felt free.

There was no cause to fight for, no war to wage against this or that, no relationship status to update, no crowd to attend to. It was just US vs everything the world could throw at us. We didn't need to struggle to be something. We simply were there and that was enough.

There was peace, there was friendship, there was companionship, there was trust and there was love. Whether we had no money or lots of money, whether we were sick or well, depressed or euphoric, we were simply there for all of it.

"Starting from here, let's make a promise
You and me, let's just be honest
We're gonna run, nothing can stop us"
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Even from a guy like me who barely has any faith this seems incredibly sad as to the state of christianity.
You would rather date a non christian woman? Because they would cause you less grief with their openness.

This makes me wonder if there are more facebook status christians ''i liked+1 the lord today'' , then there are those actually conforming to the likeness of christ.

I think it should be rather apparent to all of us looking at these forums posts there is more christians here living with the name of Christ, but their own set of guidelines then those that are being made into ''be holy as i am holy''.

I'm not even trying to put thiis on Liamson either. I see the MAJORITY of these threads started by the same people who say over and over they met some guy or girl who did one thing that sparked an interest but NO mention of that person two threads later.

Maybe it isn't them then? Maybe it IS YOU.

Maybe the whole ''i stopped searching and worked on myself'' response IS the answer to this all, after all.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#62
#62
THIS is the reason I have very little patience with waiting for a guy to decide whether or not he's going to step up and tell me what's on his mind:
I want to be someone's FIRST choice, not his by default.

When I meet someone, I can determine rather quickly whether I want to be friends with them or not. After being friends with them for a bit, it doesn't take me long to determine whether I would be interested in being more than that. I don't put them on hold wondering whether someone else better might come along. That's foolish and immature to me.

This is also one of the reasons I don't believe in fighting for a man, especially if another woman is involved. If I'm NOT his first choice...his number one...his ONE above all others, I'm not interested because that is what he would be to me. Relationships rarely last if people settle for less than that because if they DO settle for less than that, someone else usually WILL come along for one or the other of them eventually, and we know how that turns out.

Not for me...
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#63
#63
djness...I like the way your brain works. I don't always understand it, but I AM always intrigued by it :) Serioulsy. I'm NOT kidding or being sarcastic :D
 
D

djness

Guest
#64
#64
Jullianna said:
THIS is the reason I have very little patience with waiting for a guy to decide whether or not he's going to step up and tell me what's on his mind:
I want to be someone's FIRST choice, not his by default.

When I meet someone, I can determine rather quickly whether I want to be friends with them or not. After being friends with them for a bit, it doesn't take me long to determine whether I would be interested in being more than that. I don't put them on hold wondering whether someone else better might come along. That's foolish and immature to me.

This is also one of the reasons I don't believe in fighting for a man, especially if another woman is involved. If I'm NOT his first choice...his number one...his ONE above all others, I'm not interested because that is what he would be to me. Relationships rarely last if people settle for less than that because if they DO settle for less than that, someone else usually WILL come along for one or the other of them eventually, and we know how that turns out.

Not for me...
Click to expand...
The fish has to fight to stay hooked if it wants to be caught.....If it want's to be netted , taken home fileted and cooked an eaten.

The fisherman looks to catch many fish, but the fish that is his prize needs to fight to be caught!

That is how fishing works isn't it?!?!?!?

Dat wus gud anlo-gy.
 
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djness

Guest
#65
#65
Jullianna said:
djness...I like the way your brain works. I don't always understand it, but I AM always intrigued by it :) Serioulsy. I'm NOT kidding or being sarcastic :D
Click to expand...
How great would it be if I liked a comment about myself in order to reward myself....

I'm DOING IT!!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#66
#66
djness said:
The fish has to fight to stay hooked if it wants to be caught.....If it want's to be netted , taken home fileted and cooked an eaten.

The fisherman looks to catch many fish, but the fish that is his prize needs to fight to be caught!

That is how fishing works isn't it?!?!?!?

Dat wus gud anlo-gy.
Click to expand...
Not interested in sharing a hook with anyone else :D lol I want my own hook.
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#67
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#67
Jullianna said:
Not interested in sharing a hook with anyone else :D lol I want my own hook.
Click to expand...
That's why you're the one that got away... Y_Y At least they'll have good fishing stories. ^_^

(This of course, is a semi-joke [I say semi because Jullianna really is the awesome one you shouldn't let get away!], and I'm a full believer in monogamy.]
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#68
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#68
djness said:
Even from a guy like me who barely has any faith this seems incredibly sad as to the state of christianity.
You would rather date a non christian woman? Because they would cause you less grief with their openness.

This makes me wonder if there are more facebook status christians ''i liked+1 the lord today'' , then there are those actually conforming to the likeness of christ.

I think it should be rather apparent to all of us looking at these forums posts there is more christians here living with the name of Christ, but their own set of guidelines then those that are being made into ''be holy as i am holy''.

I'm not even trying to put thiis on Liamson either. I see the MAJORITY of these threads started by the same people who say over and over they met some guy or girl who did one thing that sparked an interest but NO mention of that person two threads later.

Maybe it isn't them then? Maybe it IS YOU.

Maybe the whole ''i stopped searching and worked on myself'' response IS the answer to this all, after all.
Click to expand...
Its not that she would even be a NON-Christian. Cause Technically I've only ever dated 1 non-Christian ever and that was a ...Nightmare.

I'm just really frustrated by the opposite gender right now. It is as if the harder I try, the worse it gets.

So in a sense I'm defecting, back to my own team. If one of them cares to join me, that is their deal, its not my problem any more.

"If it happens, it happens." no Longer losing sleep wondering what I did wrong.

Its like the difference between trying to hunt deer by running after them. Or just being myself and allowing one, on their own terms, come to me.

I've played enough games, by their rules, and on their terms. If its going to happen, its going to happen on my terms and by my rules and in my time. There are too many flaming hoops to navigate anymore.
 
A

aussieguy

Guest
#69
#69
its so true about holding back but sometimes when you dont hold back things still go down south. some of the time the problem is me like i have found the 'perfect person 'in my eyes but then i do stupid stuff or say stupid things which i might have the great intentions but it just doesnt come out that way or come across that way and so it starts to go down from there, so most of the time i just blame myself when something goes wrong.so then i start to sell myself short as you said.
.but I know God is in control of all things and if i stay focused on Him romans 8:28 - and we know all things work together for good to those who are called according to his purpose it will all work out but i know in return i still got to work on myself and start thinking abit more before actions i guess
 
S

songofsongs

Guest
#70
#70
Jullianna said:
Most of us probably do the friends first thing too. I know I do. But, after a year or so, that gets a little old. :)
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Hi. I'm new here. .... I totally agree. If the "friendship" went on for to long without any intentions given I would come to the conclusion that's all he wants to be. I'm not a mind reader and I'm definitely horrible at picking up signs, some I've been totally oblivious to!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#71
#71
Welcome to CC :)
 
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