When does forgiveness become sweeping the dirt under the rug?

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Malcyboy

Guest
#1
#1
Lately, i have been feeling very abandoned and mis-treated by friends... basically they ignore me and put me down a lot.. they always argue with what I say and when I speak they whip their phones on and text or facebook whilst I speak... Now this has been going and last night I had a very soulish moment and lost it at one of them... and now I understand that we should forgive, as Christ died to forgive all sins...And i believe this, but, when does forgiving them sort things? i have raised the issue civilly in the past and its ignored or never permanently sorted.. but yet if I say I forgive them, they just act as if the issue never was an issue and nothing changes?!

my closest friend, he does care, however he always pawns me off... he makes promises to spend time with me etc, yet always breaks them for work. He has bad habit of texting when I am speaking and this is clear as he never remembers what I say. I threatened that I was gonna find a new church and he begged me not to cause he couldnt lose me as he has lost a best friend before and doesnt wanna lose another...

what do I do?
 
Hizikyah

Hizikyah

Senior Member
#2
Aug 25, 2013
11,634
372
0
#2
i know its nice to have fellowship, but dont seek the approval of man, seek the approval of Yahweh, and for the people you do put around you, if one really cares they will not continually mistreat you, but most imporantly: seek the approval of Yahweh
 
HeRoseFromTheDead

HeRoseFromTheDead

Senior Member
#3
Sep 4, 2012
14,424
689
113
#3
It's disrespectful and abusive. If it was me, I'd let them know that if they want to continue to be my friends they'll put their d*** phones away when I'm talking. I'd let them know that it's disrespectful, and that I don't put up with disrespect from my friends. Many forms of abuse are a co-dependency thing; it takes an abuser, and one willing to be abused, who enables the abuser.
 
O

overcomer2

Guest
#4
#4
It sounds to me like your friend has bad manners: also maybe this relationship is more one sided. You obviously care more about it maybe its not as important to him. (sorry to write that, you sound like a caring friend.)

Keep that friend but ask the Lord for more meaningful fellowship. Your right to forgive this person. I wonder when the Lord forgave us and we continue on in sin if he still hurts over it? I think yes.
 
just-me

just-me

Banned
#5
Mar 4, 2013
7,761
107
0
#5
To answer the OP question....
It happens when the definitions of God's love are replaced by carnal definitions of love, and then claiming they are fulfilling the law by their love that really isn't God's love. This happens when the truth defining love is not searched for by the instructions of loving really is in the Bible, henceforth misusing the Word of truth.

Some care more about their own definitions of love, calling it the love of God. In order to understand God's definitions of His love, one must put aside "warm fuzzies" and endure the pointed truth found in real love.
Leviticus 19:1-18, Deuteronomy 6:1-6
 
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crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#6
Nov 24, 2012
30,707
3,650
113
#6
It reminds me of how we treat God....distracted, more interested in our toys, breakdown of communication with the One we are to communicate with. He forgives us___ soooo...
 
just-me

just-me

Banned
#7
Mar 4, 2013
7,761
107
0
#7
Forgiveness has stipulations. Confession and repentance from the wrongs committed is what God requires. From what I have seen, some will call you condemning if you want to reconcile under this same conditional truth.

What would make people think that reconciliation is to forgive and forget by sweeping the dirt under the rug? The dirt's still there, even though it's hidden from sight, but in time will stink more than before.

Do it God's way and throw it into the garbage by the confession of the wrongs committed and the changing of ones ways for the better. By endorsing this truth, ya think that people would get along better? I tend to think so.
 
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homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#8
Oct 24, 2012
15,059
114
63
#8
Malcyboy said:
Lately, i have been feeling very abandoned and mis-treated by friends... basically they ignore me and put me down a lot.. they always argue with what I say and when I speak they whip their phones on and text or facebook whilst I speak... Now this has been going and last night I had a very soulish moment and lost it at one of them... and now I understand that we should forgive, as Christ died to forgive all sins...And i believe this, but, when does forgiving them sort things? i have raised the issue civilly in the past and its ignored or never permanently sorted.. but yet if I say I forgive them, they just act as if the issue never was an issue and nothing changes?!

my closest friend, he does care, however he always pawns me off... he makes promises to spend time with me etc, yet always breaks them for work. He has bad habit of texting when I am speaking and this is clear as he never remembers what I say. I threatened that I was gonna find a new church and he begged me not to cause he couldnt lose me as he has lost a best friend before and doesnt wanna lose another...

what do I do?
Click to expand...
What do these actions and reactions show you? is this possibly to show you selfishness of the flesh. Do you as well have this same trait in you? Wanting to be noticed, approved of, listened to? Is this really that important? to have others approval? Watch out when you want others approval, where that can lead?
Do you believe God or are you just going to Church for status as many do? Saying with their lips they believe and yet their hearts are far from the Living Savior, Jesus Christ
Do we not know a tree by its fruit? Can apple tree be called a banana tree?
Can a selfish person that has no compassion, have compassion as is what I see these supposed friends claim and yet ignore your interests.
A tree is always identified by its fruit, and we are to discern and be aware, wise as serpents yet harmless as doves. So you know what is, right in front of your eyes, and because or your want to not be alone, you are about to be used and manipulated by them into much wrong.
Proverbs, says a lot about this to watch out for the froward person(s). Please be careful and ask God to show you what to do, and hold no grudges against them, because you are also by God already forgiven, Yet that does not mean you have to play in their sandbox, that appears to me to be full of___________________________. waiting to take you captive into sinful pleasures as what happened to Cain, and God warned him of this, that sin was crouching at his door
Love you, praying God has got God's grace poured all over you and them.
Maybe ask God now what to say, ask for God's word's to be spoken through you, and you might gain a brother, at least you will know after that what to do and be ready to walk away in trusting God over flesh desires
 
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