When Does Love Become Sin?

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MadParrotWoman

Guest
#1
#1
OK this is a tricky one. We all know how God feels about marriage, adultery, divorce and so on. It is my personal opinion that it is God's desire for us to work through marital issues, the exceptions to this (again my personal opinion) are where there is physical abuse and unrepentant adultery in a marriage. I don't believe one can help falling in love married or otherwise - presumably falling in love with someone outside of your marriage would develop because there are problems within the marriage or marriages - where both sides are married. Because life is not simple, this thread is not for me or anyone else to judge but I do not think it can ever be considered a sin to love can it? If it isn't a sin to love someone you aren't married to then when does that love become sinful?
 
3

3Scoreand10

Guest
#2
#2
My thought.
Love becomes sin when the one we love is placed before Jesus, or would cause us to do anything contrary to His Word.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#3
Aug 28, 2012
19,215
2,551
113
#3
If you are with someone or are married in our society yes it is a sin, but also notice that in the bible days it was not uncommon for a man to have several wives. But in my honest opinion and maybe this is because this is how I grew up seeing things it is wrong for man to even debate leaving his girl for another. Steph and I have been going out for a little over six months we have never even gotten to physically see each other, during this six months I have been asked out by three different very beautiful girls and each time I told them I am taken I explained about me and steph and each girl said to me she will never know so what's the harm.

I told them flat out I know she would likely never find out but it's the principle, when steph and I got together I have a standard of being loyal to her regardless if I could get away with dating a very beautiful girl.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
Blain said:
If you are with someone or are married in our society yes it is a sin, but also notice that in the bible days it was not uncommon for a man to have several wives. But in my honest opinion and maybe this is because this is how I grew up seeing things it is wrong for man to even debate leaving his girl for another. Steph and I have been going out for a little over six months we have never even gotten to physically see each other, during this six months I have been asked out by three different very beautiful girls and each time I told them I am taken I explained about me and steph and each girl said to me she will never know so what's the harm.

I told them flat out I know she would likely never find out but it's the principle, when steph and I got together I have a standard of being loyal to her regardless if I could get away with dating a very beautiful girl.


You already are, Blain. Steph is very beautiful. :)
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Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#5
Aug 28, 2012
19,215
2,551
113
#5
blue_ladybug said:
Blain said:
If you are with someone or are married in our society yes it is a sin, but also notice that in the bible days it was not uncommon for a man to have several wives. But in my honest opinion and maybe this is because this is how I grew up seeing things it is wrong for man to even debate leaving his girl for another. Steph and I have been going out for a little over six months we have never even gotten to physically see each other, during this six months I have been asked out by three different very beautiful girls and each time I told them I am taken I explained about me and steph and each girl said to me she will never know so what's the harm.

I told them flat out I know she would likely never find out but it's the principle, when steph and I got together I have a standard of being loyal to her regardless if I could get away with dating a very beautiful girl.


You already are, Blain. Steph is very beautiful. :)
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I didn't mean to say steph wasn't beautiful I was merely saying how easily I could do that but won't. The problem is though a lot of guys would in a heart beat
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S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#6
#6
Blain said:
I didn't mean to say steph wasn't beautiful I was merely saying how easily I could do that but won't. The problem is though a lot of guys would in a heart beat
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Psst... just take the compliment. ;)

MadParrotWoman said:
If it isn't a sin to love someone you aren't married to then when does that love become sinful?
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When it's actually lust.
 
J

James4redemption

Guest
#7
#7
I feel like Love is in a category of it's own. There's nothing in Love that leads to sin. But when you break the first commandment and place yourself above God/Your neighbor and become enticed to pursue someone you claim to love, who's not your wife/husband, in a manor that law describes as sin, that's the only way I can imagine sin taking place in relation to the love I think you're talking about. I think that's how all sin generally works though, when you refuse God's will after being enticed to pursue what your flesh desires.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#8
#8
MadParrotWoman said:
OK this is a tricky one. We all know how God feels about marriage, adultery, divorce and so on. It is my personal opinion that it is God's desire for us to work through marital issues, the exceptions to this (again my personal opinion) are where there is physical abuse and unrepentant adultery in a marriage. I don't believe one can help falling in love married or otherwise - presumably falling in love with someone outside of your marriage would develop because there are problems within the marriage or marriages - where both sides are married. Because life is not simple, this thread is not for me or anyone else to judge but I do not think it can ever be considered a sin to love can it? If it isn't a sin to love someone you aren't married to then when does that love become sinful?
Click to expand...
Yes, we can help who we fall in love with, and I say that as someone who called Dad after my first date with a new guy to tell him "this is the guy I'm going to marry." (Only guy I ever fell in love with too... oh, and I've been married to him for 35 years now, so I wasn't wrong. lol)

There was time before falling smack dab in love with him to change my mind though. There is this period of time -- short as it may be -- where we do decide. It might have been our first date, but it wasn't the first time we met, and we hung out together before that date.

I remember once being drawn to a guy I worked with. I could have gone there too, but I had time to stop and think that one over. That too was a choice, and one I walked away from.

Just like we are perfectly capable of stopping ourselves from fornicating, we are also able to stop ourselves from "loving" the wrong person. There is that moment when we make the decision. And in that moment we know when it's a good idea or a bad idea.
 
PeterJens

PeterJens

Banned
#9
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#9
You are looking at two issues here. Intimacy and sexual attraction. You can love someone, have an empathetic relationship, and that is fine. The problem is where it falls over into sexual behaviour.

The reality is whoever you marry there is probably someone else you could have a similar relationship with. It does not make it right or possible, if you meet another, it is about commitments and hurt. Once we have made the commitments the love for our partners over-rides any empathetic relationship. To let something grow to create another possibility is wrong, simply because it denies the limitations of how we build such relationships. Adultery is equivalent to murder, the destroying of another person. It is too easy today to talk about sharing who you are with another, and the breaking of such a relationship shatters the gift of time and life that is shared.

So yes love that breaks this relationship is sin, no matter how good both parties feel about it. The trouble is with pairing, is both parties will bend their feelings and memories to justify what is happening even when it is merely convenient. The illusion is a new relationship will be better or more worthwhile than the existing one. Relationships work on faithfulness and commitment not just empathy or the attraction between two people.
 
Blain

Blain

The Word Weaver
#10
Aug 28, 2012
19,215
2,551
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#10
When you truly love someone it's unconditional, it's not about lust or their appearance but genuine love. I knew a guy who was married to a very overweight woman, she was considered hideous by all the men and women in that town. I was visiting my grampa who lived there and this town was filled with stunning looking women and I was in cafe and I always kind of take in my surroundings and I saw many couples each man there was with an attractive women.

Now I don't know if any of you are able to read eyes but these men were looking at these women with lustful eyes but there was one man that peeked my interest it was the man with a very overweight women. His eyes were different they were soft loving eyes as if he was looking at true beauty and was hit with cupids arrow. Later I learned he was my grampas neighbor and friend and I sat down with this man and we had a very good chat I then timidly told him not wanting to offend him what I saw at the cafe and I asked him how he can look at someone like that while others can't.

He smiled and seemed to stare off for a minute as if he was thinking fondly of something and then said to me that he loves his wife not because of her appearance but because of her heart, he said how he knew all her flaws as they have been married for a long time but fell deeper in love with her as the years went by. This is what I saw as genuine love, it wasn't the same kind of love I grew up knowing and that I have seen in society. Even though as time went by he knew all her flaws he only fell in love with her over and over not the opposite, I even now wonder what made their love so strong, how they look so at peace and so very happy when they are together it is not a normal kind of love but it reminded very much of the love God has for us
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
#11
#11
Wow some good answers here!
 
M

MrOhAllRight

Guest
#12
#12
When it Dominates unfairly and to advantage of only one
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#13
#13
as said by several: When love turns to lust it normally means trouble

also, love covers much. In greek there are different words for parent- child love, brotherly love, romantic love and selfless love. I think Eros is the only one capable of causing trouble.
 
seed_time_harvest

seed_time_harvest

Senior Member
#14
Dec 9, 2011
13,741
1,728
113
#14
MadParrotWoman said:
OK this is a tricky one. We all know how God feels about marriage, adultery, divorce and so on. It is my personal opinion that it is God's desire for us to work through marital issues, the exceptions to this (again my personal opinion) are where there is physical abuse and unrepentant adultery in a marriage. I don't believe one can help falling in love married or otherwise - presumably falling in love with someone outside of your marriage would develop because there are problems within the marriage or marriages - where both sides are married. Because life is not simple, this thread is not for me or anyone else to judge but I do not think it can ever be considered a sin to love can it? If it isn't a sin to love someone you aren't married to then when does that love become sinful?
Click to expand...
interesting question.
 
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