Widow/Widowers

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K

Krayzkaren713

Guest
#1
#1
My husband passed away 6 yrs ago and I just need to connect with others in my situation. As hard as friends try to "include" me in activities, I always feel "odd man out" and can't relate to all their anniversaries, cruises, etc. I have a great sense of humor and am an "up" kind of person, but the loneliness is starting to get me down. Hope to hear from others, thanks!!!!!
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#2
#2
I'm going to keep posting to anything with widow(er) in the title, in the hope that a few of us can get together online. My wife died last June. Anyone can read the story at my website in my bio, so I won't put in any details.

So, let's hear what you do with your time. That's as good a place as any to start.
 
K

Krayzkaren713

Guest
#3
#3
Hi Ken, sorry about your loss. My story is my hubbie was 20 yrs older than me and in 06' he had a massive heart attack on our sofa and that's sorta it. He was 74 and I was 54. My time during the week is get up at 4:30 AM, go to work till 4:30 PM come home have dinner then get ready for bed at 8:00, weekends I hang around the house. I don't really get out, guess I should but don't. Even though it's been 6 yrs, some days it feels like it happened yesterday. Thanks for posting, hopefully more will join in.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#4
#4
Having a regular job is helpful. What do you do?

I'm usually up at 5, a throwback from hot summer days when it's good to walk then.
 
D

Davidebee

Guest
#5
#5
you have alot of good years yet Karen. you have alot of experiences that younger women need to know about marriage, life, being happy etc. can you get involved in a church close by? some ministry to help others somehow? it will get your focus off of you and your situation. its also good to get outdoors and walk and pray at least once a day. God still has alot for you to do in His Kingdom :) just find out where that is.
 
M

Missfoxieloxie

Guest
#6
#6
I have to say it is hard being a widow/widower and it is so different for everyone. It seems like people try to lump everyone into two groups. Divorced and widowed.

Karen I know what you mean about the loneliness. It is always hard for me around the holidays. This is going on my 8th year without my husband. For some reason this holiday season bothers me more than any of the others. Maybe because my son is really out starting his own life now and now after all these years I actually have to focus on mine.

Thanksgiving was very tough.....I was up 3:00 a.m. the day before....started crying and couldn't stop. I went to the cemetary for awhile...talked to him.....talked to God.....called family....friends. Noone understands.

Looking back through the years I can see how my friendships have changed. Like you, I know everyone meant well but I didn't always want to be the third wheel. Plus....being with them often reminded me of what I had lost and would bring on the tears.

I know I have to start rebuilding my life....just hard knowing where to start. I am trusting God to lead me. I am from a small town so I go to a local gym...that gets me out and gives me a chance to talk with others. I am considering joining a singles group. Do you have those type of options where you live?

You are still young and have a lot of life to live just as I do. I will be praying for you.
 
K

Krayzkaren713

Guest
#7
#7
thanks for sharing. My sister in law just lost her husband this past January and all these godly women are telling her "to just get on with her life" (while their husbands sit at home). They are well-meaning but in reality are only bringing her down and confusing her. Thanksgiving is always hard on me as my husband and mother were the active ones in the kitchen on that day. All the chatting and arguing back and forth on what spices to put on the turkey made me laugh and laugh, now there is an emptiness that hangs in the kitchen. So I do allow myself to mourn for a little while, then tell myself to continue on with the day and that seems to help. Suppressing the grief is not a good thing and yet allowing yourself to grieve too long is not good either. Holidays are hard on everyone who has lost someone.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#8
#8
I went back to school, changed careers and became more active in my church.

Like Missfoxieloxie, one of the hardest adjustments now is that my son is grown and life is changing even more. But God has been with us every step of the way and I know He will always be. I see some new things on the horizon that I have put off and even pushed away at times. When we lose something so precious, it can be difficult to step up to new things in life. We resist because what we had was so great.

I am finally learning that there is no limit to the great things God can bring into our lives...and great people. Things that once hurt my heart to think about are now precious memories that make me smile. I pray this for you as well.
 
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