Jesus, the true authority of our faith, told us that by their fruits we will know them. This is how we are to judge, by the fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control. Whether we speak in tongues or not, if we have not the fruits of the Spirit, then we have not the Spirit.
Everyone who is having trouble with this issue needs to do an intense study of 1 Corinthians 14. Paul lays out the whole issue of speaking in tongues and the benefits/hindrances thereof. We should not pick scriptures here and there, willy nilly and expect that we have the final authority of God. Read all the scriptures before claiming to understand these things and their meanings and implications.