What I believe? My "belief" comes from Scripture. Again, when your experience doesn't line up with Scripture, never trust your experience, go with Scripture. You are claiming that you are an exception to Scripture. Please reconsider.
My saving is also scriptural.....God brought me to salvation...he chose and drew me...he also testified to my spirit that I am his child......He is my Father,I belong to him.
My saving is nothing to do with my emotions..when I was saved I bought a bible straight away....and there it was...in scripture.