Dear Church, Here’s Why People Are Really Leaving You

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Sep 16, 2014
1,666
100
48
#21
Of the roughly 350,000 churches in America, I read that 75 close weekly. Many are very small rural churches where members were once farmers and ranchers. The youth move to find jobs, and the older members die out until like in several of our county churches, one little family is left occupying a once grand building. When the expenses rise too high, the doors close. Home churches grow in numbers. Pastors end up unemployed, no one home church able to support them, many lacking the education/certification requirements needed to compete for another church position somewhere else.

Many old churches are worn out, too expensive to repair, meeting law codes beyond reason. A Fire Marshal can come close it down. Sometimes a congregation breaks up, some renting a store or school facility, some choosing to join another church.

Connect with a happy church that's actually serving the community, not just themselves. Happiness is contagious. Get infected and likely stick around there.
 
B

BradC

Guest
#23
Just exactly what kind of justification does that article give to you folks that like to harp on these things instead of being a blessing to others? You want to have a church of your own liking, I suggest you go start one, but make sure you have God backing you on it because if not, it won't happen. How many of you have the faith and intestinal fortitude to plant a church, sow the seed and trust God for the increase? How long will you hold up and be faithful, love people unconditionally, believe the best and trust God for the increase? How many of you are prepared to lay your life down for the sheep and count your own life but dung that you might win Christ? How many are you are qualified by grace to build up the church and edify the members of Christ's body? How many of you are willing to condescend and lift others up? How many of you are willing to put your hands to the plow and feet to the fire? If you don't have the heart that says, 'Here am I send me' then you don't have the right to say a single word against anyone who has been called of God and labored in the church.
 
P

phil112

Guest
#24
Just exactly what kind of justification does that article give to you folks that like to harp on these things instead of being a blessing to others? You want to have a church of your own liking, I suggest you go start one, but make sure you have God backing you on it because if not, it won't happen. How many of you have the faith and intestinal fortitude to plant a church, sow the seed and trust God for the increase? How long will you hold up and be faithful, love people unconditionally, believe the best and trust God for the increase? How many of you are prepared to lay your life down for the sheep and count your own life but dung that you might win Christ? How many are you are qualified by grace to build up the church and edify the members of Christ's body? How many of you are willing to condescend and lift others up? How many of you are willing to put your hands to the plow and feet to the fire? If you don't have the heart that says, 'Here am I send me' then you don't have the right to say a single word against anyone who has been called of God and labored in the church.
Not sure where you are with this rant Brad, but here's what it sounds like you are saying to us. Those of us that are aware of the state of most churches are simply troublemakers. We are not supposed to criticize or judge another believer. If we disagree we need to just keep our mouth shut and not find fault just because a church or believer is perverting the gospel.

I have had church in my home and would still to this day if people would attend. Friend, you need to give more thought to narrow is the gate and few there be that find it, that there will be a falling away. Friend, the problem isn't me: it is a world that rejects Christ and His word.
You go ahead and sit on a pew in an apostate church if you wish. Me, I'm going elsewhere. My bible doesn't tell me to sit under false teaching. As a matter of fact, it tells me just the opposite. Perhaps you should examine scripture, my motive, and your motive, before you criticize me for standing against apostasy.

The man made sense and said things that all believers should hear and understand. He brought a lesson grounded in scripture, unlike your criticism.
 
B

BradC

Guest
#25
Not sure where you are with this rant Brad, but here's what it sounds like you are saying to us. Those of us that are aware of the state of most churches are simply troublemakers. We are not supposed to criticize or judge another believer. If we disagree we need to just keep our mouth shut and not find fault just because a church or believer is perverting the gospel.

I have had church in my home and would still to this day if people would attend. Friend, you need to give more thought to narrow is the gate and few there be that find it, that there will be a falling away. Friend, the problem isn't me: it is a world that rejects Christ and His word.
You go ahead and sit on a pew in an apostate church if you wish. Me, I'm going elsewhere. My bible doesn't tell me to sit under false teaching. As a matter of fact, it tells me just the opposite. Perhaps you should examine scripture, my motive, and your motive, before you criticize me for standing against apostasy.

The man made sense and said things that all believers should hear and understand. He brought a lesson grounded in scripture, unlike your criticism.
I am not in nor have I ever been a part of an apostate church as you have referred to. When you are led by God through the Spirit that will not happen and you do not have to wonder around for some 40 years to be a part of what God has promised. I am sure that God has snuffed out a few candles in the church but there are plenty of God fearing and love abiding churches that have the Spirit and a fellowship of grace who are rooted in the word and doctrine and active in the Lord's work. They are out there Phil and God is still leading believers all over the world. Sometimes Jesus is in our midst and walks right by us and we never discerned His presence and we miss out. We failed to humble ourselves and we did not see that the Lord was good and faithful to His promise. Christ is the head of the church and He abides in the midst of His people and dwells within each member of His body, flesh and bones. That's what I am getting at Phil and perhaps it is time to discern the Lord's body.
 
B

BradC

Guest
#26
Our local church went through a trial and many believers left. We were heart broken but remained faithful. We got on our knees and prayed and refused to be negative. We continued to walk in the light and to trust God in and for all things. We knew God was in it but did not learn until later that God brought the trial to prove and test our hearts and those who did not want to continue left. Outwardly it got ugly and we learned not to be occupied with the trial but rather with Christ. Our faith was challenged and so was the love we had in our hearts. After a time we were comforted and we saw God's hand and great fruit. We never looked back. A few who had left came back and were received unconditionally. God never left us nor did He forsake us. We matured and grew up in Christ without giving place to any evil or succumbing to the flesh.
 

Yet

Banned
Jan 4, 2014
3,756
69
0
#27
1Cor.12. ...there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which works in the pastor. The manifestation of the Spirit is given to the pastor to profit withal. For to the pastor is given by the Spirit, the word of wisdom and knowledge by the same Spirit. To the pastor, faith by the same Spirit. To the pastor the gifts of healing by the same Spirit. To the pastor the working of miracles and prophecy and discerning of spirits and divers kinds of tongues and interpretation of tongues.
But all these worketh that one and selfsame Spirit, dividing to the pastor severally as He wills. For as the body is one, and has many members and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body with all parts ' is dormant without any spiritual gifts and is in dire need of the pastor who is endowed with all giftings and functions.' Vs. 6-12

Whoa!! Did I quote that right?? Somebody check that out and tell me what it really says....please!
 
May 15, 2013
4,307
27
0
#28
The people are not making God into an understanding soul.They put heavy yokes on their neck for them to carry, but even themselves would not carry. Some people has to work on a Sabbath or if not, they'll be fired from their job, but if they were in that person situation that are in desperation, they themselves will not honor the Sabbath, but they'll love to see someone else to try and get fired from their job, but wouldn't even lift a finger to help them if they do so.
 
Oct 30, 2014
1,150
7
0
#29
Reasons I stopped going to church:

Boredom
Disagreement with the interpretation
Bigotry in the church
Arrogance of churchgoers
Judgemental attitudes of churchgoers
Hypocrisy in the clergy
Relentless drilling of concepts with little real meaning or application in the real world
Shallow stereotyping among churchgoers
Brainwashing of children
Verbal abuse among churchgoers
Gossiping
Cruelty in ideology
Wealth of the clergy
Superficial appearance of adherence to ''belief'' in contrast to much of the congregation's genuine inner thoughts and feelings
Elitism in the church
Self righteouness and supposed superiority to non-christians
Pride in the church
Narrow-mindedness among clergy and churchgoers
Fallacious debate arguments
Favouritism in the church
Anger when difficult questions were asked
The feeling of being pressured into accepting unsatisfactory arguments and unresolved dissonance under the threat of exclusion or marginalization or hell
Herd mentality among churchgoers
Mob mentality incited by clergy
Imposition upon personal privacy by clergy and churchgoers
Mocking and shaming into conformity carried out by churchgoers
Tribal mindset among denominations
Undue strictness among parents and peers
Censorship of uncomfortable questions during scriptural debate


I can think of many more, but that's probably enough.
 
B

BradC

Guest
#30
Reasons I stopped going to church:

Boredom
Disagreement with the interpretation
Bigotry in the church
Arrogance of churchgoers
Judgemental attitudes of churchgoers
Hypocrisy in the clergy
Relentless drilling of concepts with little real meaning or application in the real world
Shallow stereotyping among churchgoers
Brainwashing of children
Verbal abuse among churchgoers
Gossiping
Cruelty in ideology
Wealth of the clergy
Superficial appearance of adherence to ''belief'' in contrast to much of the congregation's genuine inner thoughts and feelings
Elitism in the church
Self righteouness and supposed superiority to non-christians
Pride in the church
Narrow-mindedness among clergy and churchgoers
Fallacious debate arguments
Favouritism in the church
Anger when difficult questions were asked
The feeling of being pressured into accepting unsatisfactory arguments and unresolved dissonance under the threat of exclusion or marginalization or hell
Herd mentality among churchgoers
Mob mentality incited by clergy
Imposition upon personal privacy by clergy and churchgoers
Mocking and shaming into conformity carried out by churchgoers
Tribal mindset among denominations
Undue strictness among parents and peers
Censorship of uncomfortable questions during scriptural debate


I can think of many more, but that's probably enough.
Is there anything that you could add to that list that might come from you personally? If not, then perhaps you were above all those things and they failed to recognize your spiritual integrity and never gave you the honor you were due. Does that sound about right? Approbation lust is a killer.
 
B

BradC

Guest
#31
1Cor.12. ...there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which works in the pastor. The manifestation of the Spirit is given to the pastor to profit withal. For to the pastor is given by the Spirit, the word of wisdom and knowledge by the same Spirit. To the pastor, faith by the same Spirit. To the pastor the gifts of healing by the same Spirit. To the pastor the working of miracles and prophecy and discerning of spirits and divers kinds of tongues and interpretation of tongues.
But all these worketh that one and selfsame Spirit, dividing to the pastor severally as He wills. For as the body is one, and has many members and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body with all parts ' is dormant without any spiritual gifts and is in dire need of the pastor who is endowed with all giftings and functions.' Vs. 6-12

Whoa!! Did I quote that right?? Somebody check that out and tell me what it really says....please!
It sounds like you have a deep seated resentment against the office of a pastor. I don't think you would have liked or agreed with some of the disciples that lead the church after the death of Christ, especially the apostle Paul when he was continually urging believers to follow and imitate him because of the power he had through the gospel, even his gospel as he referred to it as opposed to other gospels being preached.
 
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#32
Reasons I stopped going to church:

Boredom
Disagreement with the interpretation
Bigotry in the church
Arrogance of churchgoers
Judgemental attitudes of churchgoers
Hypocrisy in the clergy
Relentless drilling of concepts with little real meaning or application in the real world
Shallow stereotyping among churchgoers
Brainwashing of children
Verbal abuse among churchgoers
Gossiping
Cruelty in ideology
Wealth of the clergy
Superficial appearance of adherence to ''belief'' in contrast to much of the congregation's genuine inner thoughts and feelings
Elitism in the church
Self righteouness and supposed superiority to non-christians
Pride in the church
Narrow-mindedness among clergy and churchgoers
Fallacious debate arguments
Favouritism in the church
Anger when difficult questions were asked
The feeling of being pressured into accepting unsatisfactory arguments and unresolved dissonance under the threat of exclusion or marginalization or hell
Herd mentality among churchgoers
Mob mentality incited by clergy
Imposition upon personal privacy by clergy and churchgoers
Mocking and shaming into conformity carried out by churchgoers
Tribal mindset among denominations
Undue strictness among parents and peers
Censorship of uncomfortable questions during scriptural debate


I can think of many more, but that's probably enough.
I'm sorry you experienced so much ungodliness, no wonder you stopped. By the grace of God I have only witnessed the two red highlighted problems, and again, by God's grace, it was not my pastor of 33 years who partook in those negative antics.

I encourage you to prayerfully seek a new congregation where God's love and grace trumps the negativity you've listed. There are many good families of faith that will truly be a blessing to you.
 
Dec 1, 2014
9,701
251
0
#33
Just exactly what kind of justification does that article give to you folks that like to harp on these things instead of being a blessing to others? You want to have a church of your own liking, I suggest you go start one, but make sure you have God backing you on it because if not, it won't happen. How many of you have the faith and intestinal fortitude to plant a church, sow the seed and trust God for the increase? How long will you hold up and be faithful, love people unconditionally, believe the best and trust God for the increase? How many of you are prepared to lay your life down for the sheep and count your own life but dung that you might win Christ? How many are you are qualified by grace to build up the church and edify the members of Christ's body? How many of you are willing to condescend and lift others up? How many of you are willing to put your hands to the plow and feet to the fire? If you don't have the heart that says, 'Here am I send me' then you don't have the right to say a single word against anyone who has been called of God and labored in the church.
I love your passion, dear brother, but we must always remember that people have different spiritual gifts. Most people do not have the gift to lead a congregation yet do have the gift of discernment, and with that gift they are Scripturally encouraged and even obligated to bring to light wrongdoings, weaknesses and insufficiencies within the Body. Of course it is a harmful disservice to bring things to light in a manner that is lacking in love and encouragement.
 
Sep 16, 2014
1,666
100
48
#34
We had an interesting church service bulletin, the choir to sing some favorites, lots of folks back from Christmas travels, a packed house. A lady got up to sing a special, was overwhelmed, went face down on the stage. A woman in the pews stood and spoke in tongues, a man interpreted a wonderful message, then broke out singing in the Spirit (tongues), which happens quite often. Within minutes nobody was left standing, all on their knees in the pews, on faces, praying. That was the whole service, which wasn't as typical service. No choir, no preaching, no announcements, just worship, prayer, tears ruining makeup.

Several people that had been visiting often vacated early. Some told the ushers they would not be back. Some regular members towards the back left early, but they always do that. Towards the end about a third of the congregation remained to enjoy a healing service. I wasn't going to complain to anyone about an ingrown toenail, but went home free of swelling and pain, though the nail is still curved. There were some substantial miracles, and some young people were powerfully ministered to.

Some visiotrs I suppose come to hear the music, which had better be quite professional. Some come showing off brilliant jewlry and their fur coats now that it's cold outside. But many came yesterday to get in the presence of the Lord. That experience refreshes me all the coming week. It empowered me to not give up on ministering to people stopping by or calling with usually dramatic problems. Face to face encounters are extremely challenging, and never-ending.

I didn't hear an exciting sermon. I will read even more Bible this week instead. I did not hear wonderful singing or music, so will pray in he Spirit before hitting the Send button, and sing in the spirit along with my wife who does that almost constantly. We love to sing "scripture songs" from memorized verses, kind of along Jewish melody style.

I witness some improper things at church and elsewhere among Christians. But I don't join in. I always have something positive to say or do that defuses most problems. God gives me solutions. A solution is to avoid the disgruntled nay-sayers, but not get too far away they can't observe some model behavior. If all I did was accumulate a list of gripes at church I'd probably have given up years ago.

Wherever we hook up, be it a community organization, church, club, let's do our best to make it pleasant and productive as much as possible. Get involved, do something for someone. Hold an umbrella for a lady in the rain.
 
D

Dean

Guest
#35
BBC News - A guide to the Church of England's huge investments

read link above and read a book called thy will be done, it's clearly obviously telling you about the churches in company with shell and other big oil company's, the church are super super rich and they ask for money of us on the way out of church i think that's wrong as some people don't go to church as they have nothing to put in the pot at the end when they are leaving so they feel embarrassed and just prey at home to our creator
Bible says very clearly in man there is no salvation so why confess your sins to man called a priest, you can be loved of God our creator with out going church, word church comes from the Celtic word kirk and that word goes back to mother cersei and she was not a nice person at all.
christians seem to hate Freemasons but don't no there priest is a high up Freemason who loves ritual in lodge, I can't say all Christians hate masons as can't paint everyone with same brush.

i prey all time, when I prey I prey to our creator no one else
 
P

phil112

Guest
#36
.....................i prey all time, when I prey I prey to our creator no one else
Spell check is your friend. Pray is the polar opposite of prey. Words mean something. Use the ones you need to express what you're trying to say. :)
 

Yet

Banned
Jan 4, 2014
3,756
69
0
#37
It sounds like you have a deep seated resentment against the office of a pastor. I don't think you would have liked or agreed with some of the disciples that lead the church after the death of Christ, especially the apostle Paul when he was continually urging believers to follow and imitate him because of the power he had through the gospel, even his gospel as he referred to it as opposed to other gospels being preached.
Brad you are judging me. Not suppose to do that. I see you failed to correct me on those verses. Why? Question Brad. Was Paul functioning as one of the pastors in a local body pulling tithes and not working a job or was he a traveling apostle?
 

iwant2serve

Senior Member
Apr 12, 2009
513
28
28
#38
How about adding the corporation syndrome to it... all of them are very similar, pews and pulpit, with one guy preaching and all the rest listening as if this one guy was our high priest, to which he is not, that position belongs to Yahushua.

Should not the House of Elohim be more like it was in the day, where it was someone different each time reading from the scriptures? We should not be subjected to just one group or person's view of the scriptures, because all parts of the body are needed.
If you read the scriptures there was a teacher to the people. The bible says Pastors who shepard a certian amount people discipling them. to many leaderes in one place and nothing gets done there has to be a shepard even over the clergy.
 

iwant2serve

Senior Member
Apr 12, 2009
513
28
28
#39
I agree with the orignal post that the church as we know it is loosing a battle. The artical was on point as I have seen this for many years.
 

Yet

Banned
Jan 4, 2014
3,756
69
0
#40
If you read the scriptures there was a teacher to the people. The bible says Pastors who shepard a certian amount people discipling them. to many leaderes in one place and nothing gets done there has to be a shepard even over the clergy.
Elders is plural. They are not to control or command. Nicolaitan: nico-to subdue. Laitan:laity- the folks. To self elevate and 'lord it over His heritage'. See Diotrephes in 3John.
Elders are to serve, not rule. That is the Holy Spirits job.