Desiring married women

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Oct 2, 2021
32
17
8
#1
This is a sin of mine. Desiring women that are married. I go out to nightclubs and don't lust over anyone really there even though people are kissing me and what not. I like to tease them i dunno why. I come across as innocent according to the bouncers and they somewhat like me.

I went to a church thing the other day and there's this woman there whos friendly with me. A bit overly friendly. I think she knows that I like her but i try not to let it show. Other blokes in that church have commented that I come for the woman. When she was talking to me the pastor comes stands to us. This has happened at three different churches all with women talking to me and are married or about to be married. My mate said to me the girls like you and they stay away from him because hes known to be a bit of player flirt. I've been put into some situations where the husband suppose to meet me but instead the wife is home alone and she invites me in. Now I didn't go in but its just strange. Later I fall into sin thinking about that.

How do I overcome this? I dunno if i wanna go to that church. Not only is there women there im lustful for or they lustful for me i dont really know but theres homosexuals there too. I had one in a past church want me to give him a back rub and i move away from him and he fell asleep on the couch. I feel i sin less having a couple beers singing a few songs at a pub even with women walking around at certain places than sitting alone at home on the internet or even going to church. Don't go home and think sexual thoughts over any girls in the nightclubs or pubs even if i kiss them.
 

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
Apr 21, 2021
1,334
473
83
#3
This is a sin of mine. Desiring women that are married. I go out to nightclubs and don't lust over anyone really there even though people are kissing me and what not. I like to tease them i dunno why. I come across as innocent according to the bouncers and they somewhat like me.

I went to a church thing the other day and there's this woman there whos friendly with me. A bit overly friendly. I think she knows that I like her but i try not to let it show. Other blokes in that church have commented that I come for the woman. When she was talking to me the pastor comes stands to us. This has happened at three different churches all with women talking to me and are married or about to be married. My mate said to me the girls like you and they stay away from him because hes known to be a bit of player flirt. I've been put into some situations where the husband suppose to meet me but instead the wife is home alone and she invites me in. Now I didn't go in but its just strange. Later I fall into sin thinking about that.

How do I overcome this? I dunno if i wanna go to that church. Not only is there women there im lustful for or they lustful for me i dont really know but theres homosexuals there too. I had one in a past church want me to give him a back rub and i move away from him and he fell asleep on the couch. I feel i sin less having a couple beers singing a few songs at a pub even with women walking around at certain places than sitting alone at home on the internet or even going to church. Don't go home and think sexual thoughts over any girls in the nightclubs or pubs even if i kiss them.
The only way you can overcome this is by getting serious about giving your life to the Lord.

I'm still trying to decide if you're on the level or just yankin' our chain.

I don't know how long you've been a Christian, or if you even are; but if you're hangin' out in nightclubs you don't yet understand. It also sounds like you may have had one too many on this Thanksgiving day. Probably should get that under control as well.
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
28,219
5,343
113
#4
Im reading in proverbs 5:22 about adulterous women.
Maybe you SHOULD be reading about what a CHRISTIAN is? Yeah, that might be a good idea.............. Unless you can show me in Scripture where what you are doing is Gods Master Plan for how His children are to lead their lives.

I have the wee scent of a.....................well, it will probably become clear soon enough......
 
Oct 2, 2021
32
17
8
#5
Maybe you SHOULD be reading about what a CHRISTIAN is? Yeah, that might be a good idea.............. Unless you can show me in Scripture where what you are doing is Gods Master Plan for how His children are to lead their lives.

I have the wee scent of a.....................well, it will probably become clear soon enough......
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

James 5:16

Is this what I just did? Confess my sins? The bible also explains noone is good so I understand that everyone is bad and ain't fooled. Only Jesus is good and what he did for us. Bible doesn't say to seek our righteousness but his righteousness.
 

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
Apr 21, 2021
1,334
473
83
#6
Confessing of sins to one another means confessing to trusted brothers or sisters in the Lord, not shouting them for the whole world in a chat forum. You must also confess them to yourself. Until you really do that, until you really understand how serious of a problem sin is, you'll never do whatever is required to give it up. It won't be easy; the Lord never said it would be. But it's worth the effort.

I'll tell you something about myself. I struggled with lust and sexual sin for pretty much as long as I can remember; and I'm pretty old. I was never able to change until I was ready to do whatever it took. I completely upended my life and left the past as I knew it behind. Sometimes you just need a good shakeup. I still have temptations, but it no longer controls me. When you've had enough, you'll find a way. . .with His help.
 
Jun 12, 2021
289
54
28
#7
This is a sin of mine. Desiring women that are married. I go out to nightclubs and don't lust over anyone really there even though people are kissing me and what not. I like to tease them i dunno why. I come across as innocent according to the bouncers and they somewhat like me.

I went to a church thing the other day and there's this woman there whos friendly with me. A bit overly friendly. I think she knows that I like her but i try not to let it show. Other blokes in that church have commented that I come for the woman. When she was talking to me the pastor comes stands to us. This has happened at three different churches all with women talking to me and are married or about to be married. My mate said to me the girls like you and they stay away from him because hes known to be a bit of player flirt. I've been put into some situations where the husband suppose to meet me but instead the wife is home alone and she invites me in. Now I didn't go in but its just strange. Later I fall into sin thinking about that.

How do I overcome this? I dunno if i wanna go to that church. Not only is there women there im lustful for or they lustful for me i dont really know but theres homosexuals there too. I had one in a past church want me to give him a back rub and i move away from him and he fell asleep on the couch. I feel i sin less having a couple beers singing a few songs at a pub even with women walking around at certain places than sitting alone at home on the internet or even going to church. Don't go home and think sexual thoughts over any girls in the nightclubs or pubs even if i kiss them.
This goes to show the fake nonelect churches have gone apostate=God has removed his presence, now nonelects are showing their true sinful nature.

After God gave me the Holy Spirit, I found proof that TV, movies, novels, music, video games and computer games are all sins, except Christian stuff. Read 10 commandments.

link below is the true gospel and how God gave the Holy Spirit to me (by the grace of God he chose me as one of his elect.)

https://christianchat.com/testimoni...s-except-christian-stuff.199651/#post-4600281

After you read the stuff in the link. This is what will happen.

A. You are God's elect=God gives you the Holy Spirit.
B. You are nonelect=You reject the Holy Spirit.
 

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
1,206
193
63
#8
You think as this, you just love women. Yes, there's nothing wrong with you loving them, but if you thinking more, the problem will arise.
They are sisters in Church.
So are you married?
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
28,219
5,343
113
#9
How do I overcome this? I dunno if i wanna go to that church. Not only is there women there im lustful for or they lustful for me i dont really know but theres homosexuals there too. I had one in a past church want me to give him a back rub and i move away from him and he fell asleep on the couch. I feel i sin less having a couple beers singing a few songs at a pub even with women walking around at certain places than sitting alone at home on the internet or even going to church. Don't go home and think sexual thoughts over any girls in the nightclubs or pubs even if i kiss them.
THIS PART is what I referred to........confessing your sin? Well, yes, but I do NOT detect any remorse or desire to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Rather, the way it reads, you are kinda proud that women are attracted to you, and you seem to really enjoy it..............

Confessing ones sin is ALWAYS followed by repenting........Maybe you should be talking to your Pastor, or someone, although, IF there are homosexuals who are members of your congregation, talking to your Pastor may not be the best option. Perhaps, the BEST OPTION is to find a Church that is Bible Centered, and teaches/obeys the Gospel of Jesus.

Your comment in the OP read like there was a lot of pride involved....intended or not.......
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
28,219
5,343
113
#10
This goes to show the fake nonelect churches have gone apostate=God has removed his presence, now nonelects are showing their true sinful nature.

After God gave me the Holy Spirit, I found proof that TV, movies, novels, music, video games and computer games are all sins, except Christian stuff. Read 10 commandments.

link below is the true gospel and how God gave the Holy Spirit to me (by the grace of God he chose me as one of his elect.)

https://christianchat.com/testimoni...s-except-christian-stuff.199651/#post-4600281

After you read the stuff in the link. This is what will happen.

A. You are God's elect=God gives you the Holy Spirit.
B. You are nonelect=You reject the Holy Spirit.
Please remember that what is a sin for one person is not always a sin for another...... Yes, there are sins that are a sin for ALL believers, but stuff like video games and TV/Movies differ.........

The Apostle Paul taught that God created no unclean thing........if for YOU it is a sin, then it IS a sin, but that does not mean for everyone
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
2,873
2,336
113
#11
This is a sin of mine. Desiring women that are married. I go out to nightclubs and don't lust over anyone really there even though people are kissing me and what not. I like to tease them i dunno why. I come across as innocent according to the bouncers and they somewhat like me.

I went to a church thing the other day and there's this woman there whos friendly with me. A bit overly friendly. I think she knows that I like her but i try not to let it show. Other blokes in that church have commented that I come for the woman. When she was talking to me the pastor comes stands to us. This has happened at three different churches all with women talking to me and are married or about to be married. My mate said to me the girls like you and they stay away from him because hes known to be a bit of player flirt. I've been put into some situations where the husband suppose to meet me but instead the wife is home alone and she invites me in. Now I didn't go in but its just strange. Later I fall into sin thinking about that.

How do I overcome this? I dunno if i wanna go to that church. Not only is there women there im lustful for or they lustful for me i dont really know but theres homosexuals there too. I had one in a past church want me to give him a back rub and i move away from him and he fell asleep on the couch. I feel i sin less having a couple beers singing a few songs at a pub even with women walking around at certain places than sitting alone at home on the internet or even going to church. Don't go home and think sexual thoughts over any girls in the nightclubs or pubs even if i kiss them.

Go to nightclubs and don't lust? Nightclubs are built to
A) get drunk
B) find strangers to have sex with
So if not lust what is the motive you have for going to clubs of half naked women trying to touch and kiss on you?

Trying to start your story with that line makes every word you wrote after a giant red flag.

This is a series of really obvious circumstances. You're just too close to see how obvious. And likely to acknowledge them would be to change the way you view yourself into a less ideal (but more realistic) version.

Truth is you are not committee to anything. Married women represent all the "green grass". Loyal, faithful, committed, supportive loving.
Married women are also forbidden.
So in essence you've created the perfect fantasy. All of the promise of what makes a woman good, none of the risk or work involved in actually having it. Or living up to your side of things.
These lonely, sad women get a hint of a promise of a better life by flirting with you, but you actually give them zero except more room to become dissatisfied in their own marriage and not work on it.
You are also their "greener grass" fantasy.

So you get the illusion of people with attractive traits unable to keep away from you and you don't have to raise their children, take their phone calls or, really, give then a single piece of yourself.
You have set your life up so that your needs are the only ones ever met or met well enough to pacify you.
Not one of the women, or husband's, will ever benefit from the way you're living through them.

And the piece that proves it all is that you're more than happy to go a place full of strangers whose thoughts are unsober and let them physically interact with you before you walk off and leave them standing there.

The idea that because you aren't actually "doing anything" with women doesn't prove you're the good guy. It proves you fully understand that line better than most and stand teetering, purposefully, from falling off and dragging whoever is nearby with you.
Your supposed innocence is actually your condemnation.
 

Pureness

Active member
Oct 10, 2021
208
113
43
#12
This is a sin of mine. Desiring women that are married. I go out to nightclubs and don't lust over anyone really there even though people are kissing me and what not. I like to tease them i dunno why. I come across as innocent according to the bouncers and they somewhat like me.

I went to a church thing the other day and there's this woman there whos friendly with me. A bit overly friendly. I think she knows that I like her but i try not to let it show. Other blokes in that church have commented that I come for the woman. When she was talking to me the pastor comes stands to us. This has happened at three different churches all with women talking to me and are married or about to be married. My mate said to me the girls like you and they stay away from him because hes known to be a bit of player flirt. I've been put into some situations where the husband suppose to meet me but instead the wife is home alone and she invites me in. Now I didn't go in but its just strange. Later I fall into sin thinking about that.

How do I overcome this? I dunno if i wanna go to that church. Not only is there women there im lustful for or they lustful for me i dont really know but theres homosexuals there too. I had one in a past church want me to give him a back rub and i move away from him and he fell asleep on the couch. I feel i sin less having a couple beers singing a few songs at a pub even with women walking around at certain places than sitting alone at home on the internet or even going to church. Don't go home and think sexual thoughts over any girls in the nightclubs or pubs even if i kiss them.
Well to me it sounds like you know right from wrong, and you clearly know its wrong to want a married woman. So, at this point your lying to yourself because a lie sounds better than the truth. You'll figure it out hun. God bless, and I will pray for you.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
36,721
13,863
113
66
Tennessee
#13
You do understand that this is a Christian site, right?
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
7,550
5,942
113
#14
I wonder how long this thread will last? Not long I am guessing.
 

Oblio

Active member
Jul 30, 2021
531
230
43
#18
This is a sin of mine. Desiring women that are married. I go out to nightclubs and don't lust over anyone really there even though people are kissing me and what not. I like to tease them i dunno why. I come across as innocent according to the bouncers and they somewhat like me.

I went to a church thing the other day and there's this woman there whos friendly with me. A bit overly friendly. I think she knows that I like her but i try not to let it show. Other blokes in that church have commented that I come for the woman. When she was talking to me the pastor comes stands to us. This has happened at three different churches all with women talking to me and are married or about to be married. My mate said to me the girls like you and they stay away from him because hes known to be a bit of player flirt. I've been put into some situations where the husband suppose to meet me but instead the wife is home alone and she invites me in. Now I didn't go in but its just strange. Later I fall into sin thinking about that.

How do I overcome this? I dunno if i wanna go to that church. Not only is there women there im lustful for or they lustful for me i dont really know but theres homosexuals there too. I had one in a past church want me to give him a back rub and i move away from him and he fell asleep on the couch. I feel i sin less having a couple beers singing a few songs at a pub even with women walking around at certain places than sitting alone at home on the internet or even going to church. Don't go home and think sexual thoughts over any girls in the nightclubs or pubs even if i kiss them.
You sound to me like you're trying to find your way out of the woods. Seek the Lord with your heart. Read scripture (the bible). If it's going to mess you up by going to a certain church, don't go there.
Latch onto a verse like this and keep saying it to yourself. I did what this verse said to do for 4 months and then I found Him. Ignore everybody else if you have to. Don't give up! Bless you!
"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:13
 

ewq1938

Well-known member
Oct 18, 2018
2,907
814
113
#19
I went to a church thing the other day and there's this woman there whos friendly with me. A bit overly friendly. I think she knows that I like her but i try not to let it show. Other blokes in that church have commented that I come for the woman. When she was talking to me the pastor comes stands to us.

You need to stop talking to them. You can be friendly but brief. Don't talk for very long because you know where it will lead and you know you enjoy that.
 
Oct 2, 2021
32
17
8
#20
There's something called NOFAP which is restraining from sex or masturbation for purposes. Mine aint sex its masturbation which is the problem. Porn is another problem.

A guy called Phil Hellmuth won the WSOP main event back in 1989 say they had no sex or masturbation leading up to winning the main event. He even turned down a beautiful woman for sex. He said doing this gave him the edge and allowed him to win the wsop main event.

Now he doesn't give God the glory for his victories. If I won something like that God deserves the glory. He gives you the ability to work out percentages. He gives you the ability to read facial cues. He even determines when you get your AK in against 77 preflop whether your going to win that hand. its about a 45% chance your going to win with AK but God determines whether a K or A will hit and hold against 77.

I don't play poker to win money. I use money to make friends though. I also use it to help the poor. I want to give loans and have done in the past if people ask. If I get married and have children I want to leave a inhertience to them and their children. I prayed about God giving me a wife today.

I like going to nightclubs. Bouncers often ask why I am there. Witches somehow ask if i'm a christian. One in particular was asking if im judas or Jesus. I said neither Jesus is God and Judas died years ago.